- Gender and Relationships»
- Happy Marriages
Suggestions for A NewlyWed Wife
The Number One Marriage Saver/Killer
I am writing this article in an effort to make more marriages healthy, happy, and last longer. I've been married for more than 15 years now, and while I have a fairly healthy marriage, I've seen so many that have failed amongst friends,family, and co-workers.
There are many reasons for a failed marriage, but the number one killer always seems to be infidelity, or a cheating spouse. The majority of the time ladies, it's the husband that ends up cheating. If you want to have a better chance of keeping your spouse faithful, here are some thoughts straight from the horse's mouth on how to accomplish that.
First, lets make one thing clear. You probably have been told this already, or have guessed at it. Husbands (and men in general) are extremely sexual beings. Typically we as men have a higher sex drive (read: legitimate need for sex) than our wives or girlfriends. This is NOT something that you will ever fix, be able to fix, or change in ANY way; so please don't even try. However, do note, that the majority of men (if they have their sexual needs met by their wives) have the ability (and husbands the responsibility REGARDLESS of if their needs are being met!) to stay faithful to their spouses. Not only that but the majority of husbands LOVE to see their wife naked (NO MATTER WHAT YOU LOOK LIKE, Or how many stretch marks you have, or how many extra pounds you've gained since the wedding!), so let him look! Give your husband every opportunity for ogling YOU, and he will spend much less time ogling other women. (Although we can't help an occasional glance at a beautiful woman (and to most men the majority of women are beautiful in some way), we CAN prevent ongoing lustful thoughts, especially if we know we can look at our wife's body anytime we wish.
Ok, That being said: We now have established that a husband generally has a high sex drive, BUT can be kept faithful. Read very carefully: If your husband/boyfriend cheats on you it is NOT your fault! He has every responsibility to be faithful to you, and it's entirely his BAD decision if he chooses not to. BUT, you can do all that you possibly can to keep him happy at home with you, and yup that means lots of sex. So...to ensure that your husband or boyfriend has very limited desire to cheat on you means that you USE UP his sex drive. Yup, use it up! Give him sex at LEAST once a day (when possible. When not possible a hand-job or blow-job could suffice, but don't leave him unsatisfied). If you satisfy his sexual desires, he's going to have NO REASON to even consider another woman.
Secondly, keep this in mind. a man/husband feels emotionally connected through sex (and then can talk and listen to you better! (If we are horny, and most husbands just looking at their wife (before intercourse) makes them horny, then we are NOT really listening to you, we are thinking about something else!) Unfortunately for us, women have been designed a bit differently and are usually only sexually aroused when they feel emotionally connected to begin with (and have had some good talks with their mate, and feel like they have been understood). Thus, (and stay with me on this ladies, I know it seems counter-intuitive to your thought process, but it works!) if you want a more communicative spouse (that's better connected to you emotionally) sex works wonders. In my personal life I have never felt as close to my wife as I did during the first few years of marriage when we were making love 3-5 times a day.
In summary...as I'm out of time for this article....If your husband/boyfriend cheats on you, it is NOT YOUR FAULT! He is ENTIRELY at fault if he chooses to be with another woman. BUT...when you keep him sexually satisfied the chances of him even briefly considering an affair is slim to none.
My wife has said at one point that she didn't want sex to seem like another chore she had to check off. BUT, I ask you this "Is it worth another chore to help your mate stay faithful to you?"
We LOVE to LOVE YOU!
Husbands LOVE to See Their Wife Naked!
Read that title again..."Husbands LOVE to See THEIR WIFE Naked!". Did it say anywhere in the title that you had to be a super-model, a glamor star, a movie star, or have a perfect body??
The majority of husbands WANT to see their wife naked at every possible opportunity and WE ENJOY IT! So what if you have stretch marks or have gained a few extra pounds, the love we have for our wives overrides the majority of physical issues you could possibly have! We want to KNOW the woman we have waiting for us is willing and ready to SHARE her body with us.
When it's time for intimacy, don't insist on lights out, under covers, or most terribly try to cover up the parts of your body that you are for any reason ashamed of. Guess what? When you are thinking about these parts of your body WE AREN'T! and what's even worse is when you are thinking of those parts of your body you don't like or are frantically trying to keep them covered, then YOU ARE NOT ENJOYING intimacy with your husband!
The majority of men, husbands anyway (I can't speak for those men who are out there trying to get every gal into the sack but won't commit to marriage and to one woman for life, or those that have gotten married only because they got a girl pregnant, but for the majority of us husbands:) we are extremely anxious to please our wife especially when it comes to having sex. The BEST sex for us is WHEN OUR WIVES ENJOY THEMSELVES! We can have orgasm very easily (sometimes just by thinking about having sex with you), but when our wives achieve orgasm (or at the very least have obviously enjoyed the activity) that makes us feel like a better man, better husband, and better lover. We would do almost ANYTHING to BRING YOU PLEASURE. When you are trying to cover yourself we KNOW you are NOT having fun or enjoying our bodies the way we want you to.
Get over it!, Try to see yourself through your husbands eyes! You ARE extremely beautiful and we WANT to see YOU naked!
Some Favorite Links
- Are You Hampering Your Hubby
Have you been hampering your hubby? If he no longer initiates intimacy in your marriage, chances are you have contributed to that lack of desire. Find out if you are a hubby hamperer.
- ONE | Tony and Alisa DiLorenzo | Romance | Passion | Intimacy - Christian Relationship Advice
Great Podcast to help your marriage!
- Family, Help and Hope for Marriages and Families
During the Weekend to Remember marriage getaway, you will receive marriage-changing principles that you can take home and apply to your daily lives that will strengthen your marriage. Whether you are newly engaged or have been married for 50 years, y
- Home : HomeWord Center for Youth and Family @ Azusa Pacific University
HomeWord Center for Youth and Family @ Azusa Pacific University : Home - Faith,Teen Life,Relationships,Family,Donate to HomeWord,Events,Parenting,Spiritual Life,Family Life,Crisis,Money,Self-Care,Entertainment,Ministry,Homeword Center for Youth and F
- Focus on the Family: Helping Families Thrive
Focus on the Family provides relevant Christian advice on marriage, parenting and other topics. Find practical resources for every age and lifestage.