- Gender and Relationships
Surviving The In Between
How do you draw the line between what WAS and what IS?
My head understands or at least pretends to. My heart thinks it might be broken. My soul… my soul is lost in the In Between.
Have you ever been to the In Between?
It is a sepia place highlighted by occasional and unexpected, striking pops of color. They appear quickly and most times are immediately swallowed by drifting black hole shadows.
You know it if you’ve been there. You might even be there now. You are not alone.
Your eyesight will be crystal clear only to be obscured by sudden clouds that shroud your view and melt everything together into an indistinguishable mass of TOO MUCH.
Then you cry. You cry until your head aches and your tears have dried in rivulets along your cheeks and neck.
Then you laugh. You laugh until you gasp for air, your face turns red and you feel like throwing up.
You remember and then you try to forget. You feel guilty about trying to forget. You have no choice.
You hold your hands in tight fists at your sides when all you want to do is reach out to what once was yours.
You cross your arms tightly around yourself when you need someone to hold.
You grieve your losses. You try to move forward, but you cannot help glancing back.
Some moments make you weep with joy. The sun’s rays finally break through the clouds. A bright but unassuming star winks at you and then shoots across the sky. You become filled with wonder by the simplest things. You might question these moments. You might wonder if they were real. They were.
Do you know what they were? They were your special glimpses of hope.
The In Between is full of questions, unease, fear, frightening changes and pain.
The In Between is just that – the time in between one life and another. It connects what was, what is and what will be.
It is a time of waiting, adjustment, tears, joy, regret, guilt, forgiveness, numbness, sadness, hilarity and eventually freedom. It is a time of learning patience, advocacy and growth.
It is a time of endings and new beginnings.
To end the In Between you must make a choice:
- Live in, think of and yearn for the past while you endlessly wander the In Between.
- Embrace your In Between: Learn from your mistakes. Learn from others’ mistakes. Keep your mind open. Surround yourself with supportive, positive people and messages. Grab on to your changes with both arms. Don't be afraid to explore your freedom. Be present and live in the moment.
The only thing remaining is to absolutely revel in your survival and LAUGH. I am on this journey. I know I'm not alone. Join me!