Acknowledging, Surviving and Healing From Toxic People pt. 1
Toxic People are Everywhere.
Toxic People are slick, slimy, manipulative, controlling, narcissistic beings that seem to have been trained their whole life to hunt down decent, caring, loving, nurturing, compassionate, trusting individuals and strike them down with emotional and mental torture tactics that are much crueler than physically being attacked.
My opinion and I have heard something similar from other victims online, "Bruises and cuts can heal, but the emotional and mental scarring is forever."
(To clarify, All Abuse Is Bad! No Abuse Method is ever good!)
The similar lines to the one I wrote are saying, a person will physically heal from physical injuries and maybe have a scar depending on the altercation/incident, but the mental and emotional abuse that they had endured will linger inside their brains and haunt them for the rest of their life. This is called Trauma, the post-trauma affects everything and everyone. This Post Traumatic Stress is Real after going through anything traumatic, may it be Physical, Mental and/or Emotional.
P.T.S.D does not simply Go Away. It takes time and effort of seeking out help for one's self just to learn how to cope.
Therapy can help teach you how to cope and accept what happened in these toxic relationships and how it was not your fault you have an acquit sense of safety again.
Toxic People are sometimes easy to spot and other times, they are like old school ninjas and you don't see them coming until it's too late.
Be aware and listen to your instincts.
Not Just Romantic Relationships.
I have noticed that when people speak of Abusive relationships, a majority of people assume that the person is speaking from a romantic relationship standpoint, but in reality, they are speaking of a non-romantic relationship.
From my experience, I have had Toxic friendships, Toxic co-workers, Toxic bosses and toxic people that I have dated or my friends or family members.
These Toxic people don't just affect one person in their lives, they affect everyone in their lives.
Toxic Friendships can get you into trouble and sometimes into dangerous situations. These toxic friends might call you names, insult your intelligence or guilt you into actions or situations. Fight as you may you seem to always give in to these friends because of this "friendship" you two share for a long time. You would assume that this friend would have your back if the time came for them to step up because you would have their back and step up for them. Sadly with toxic friendships, you are on your own all the while being put in uncomfortable situations that could lead to a more serious incident.
In my experience with my past toxic friends, at the time I would do almost anything to protect them if we had no other way out. This knowledge must have triggered the adventurous side in them because they started purposely putting themselves and myself in bad situations that did not need to be apart of our lives.
Besides the adventurous toxic friends, there are also careless toxic friends. I knew a handful of both adventurous and careless toxic friends. Careless Toxic Friends are actually how it sounds, "careless". They don't care about their actions or how their actions and attitude affect others. In their minds, they don't care and neither should you.
Next is the Vindictive Toxic Friends, these are the high end the worse friends. They have some sort of envious or 'better than you' attitude toward certain people in their life and will whittle the person down into what they want and need from them. Their actions and words will cut deep and when they find a nerve they have struck they feed upon that nerve until they find another nerve and by the time they are done with you or you are lucky enough to escape their venomous words, you are not the same person you use to be.
Another Toxic Friend reminds me of the seagulls from "Finding Nemo" because they think everything is theirs. Nothing is yours for long, if they borrow something don't expect this item back. If they want your new spouse/partner, they will do their best to claim that too. These Seagull Toxic Friends will even claim you because they feel like they have the right to do so.
My Example: My Seagull toxic friend Called "Dibs" on me to my face while I was going through a terrible break-up and I just needed a friend.
There are probably a bunch more specific Toxic Friends out there and most of them are more than one type of Toxic Friend. They may seem to be a great friend, but to them, you are their prey, their stooge, their pet, their property, their back-up partner, their designated savior, their scapegoat, their verb-punching bag, their alibi, their plaything, their rival, their one night stand, etc...
There is hope
You are not alone in these hard times. Others have and are going through similar situations.
I understand and sympathize with your pain.
No one deserves to be treated the way these Toxic People treat others.
Please seek out or reach out for help, even if you do not choose to leave the Toxic People in your life.
You deserve to be happy. You are loved. Stay Safe.
This content is accurate and true to the best of the author’s knowledge and is not meant to substitute for formal and individualized advice from a qualified professional.
© 2020 Ash