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Updated on March 14, 2011


In deciding what to write about, I chose this subject, since it is something that I am going through and wanted to share some of my solutions to help other women. How does a godly woman go about dealing with dating and controlling your lusts while doing this? In my search for answers, I have gotten advice from other woman and looked to the bible for answers. I had to first acknowledge my own sinful nature and work on breaking its' hold. This is one of the many challenges of being a Christian and wrestling with ourselves. We wrestle with our lusts, desires and all the emotions in our body. It is our human nature and something we have been conditioned to obey.

(1 Cor. 9:25 - 27) And every man that striveth for the mastery is temperate in all things. Now they [do it] to obtain a corruptible crown; but we an incorruptible.

I therefore so run, not as uncertainly; so fight I, not as one that beateth the air:

But I keep under my body, and bring [it] into subjection: lest that by any means, when I have preached to others, I myself should be a castaway.

The bible tells us to bring our bodies into subjection. Subjection means "to bring into the state of subjection or under power or control of another".


Lust is one of the many emotions that we have to wrestle with. Our emotions include, pain, jealousy, envy, and anger to name a few. How do you separate yourself from something that you have obeyed since birth? We use our emotions to tell us what we need and to make decisions. We first must realize, that we are indeed have to wrestle with emotions and take control! Next, knowing that all our emotions are not good for our spiritual growth. It all starts in our mind, where the real battle is. The battle is between our sinful nature and God's righteousness.

(Ephesians 6:10 - 17) Finally, my brethren, be strong in the Lord, and in the power of his might. Put on the whole armour of God, that ye may be able to stand against the wiles of the devil.For we wrestle not against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of the darkness of this world, against spiritual wickedness in high places. Wherefore take unto you the whole armour of God, that ye may be able to quench all the fiery darts of the wicked. And take the helmet of salvation, and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God.


How do you attempt and maintain a balance of righteousness in your life ? This is my daily struggle, as a Christian woman. You have to really want to live in righteousness and be able to abstain from lustful desires. Secondly, you must stay conscious of your thoughts at all times.

It took me some time to figure out that I can't date or be in a relationship for now. It is not worth the constant temptation of sexual feelings. I need to focus totally on God for now. I have dated previously and had good experiences. A godly woman can have good dating experiences and abstain from sex until married. I must say for me, it was a challenge.

Communication with your mate and finding men who know God, is key. The balance of this is when your desire to be righteous is more than what you desire for yourself. The weight of sin and guilty feelings will always tip the scales. The perfectness of God's righteousness will always balance the scale. The balancing is not of good and evil, it is between our will and God's commandments.

I welcome to hear from women in how they deal with this issue and solutions they want to share.


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    • mdiggs1234 profile image

      Madame Penn 7 years ago from Pittsburgh

      Hi Annaw, thanks for sharing your opinion and thoughts on this is nice to hear from other woman what their experiences have been.....Im glad to know it is not just me..I feel the same about most men these days...thanks so much...hope you enjoyed the article..thinking of starting a hub on this subject...blessings to U for staying true.

    • annaw profile image

      annaw 7 years ago from North Texas

      I am a divorced women and have been since 1985! I have had sexual relationships outside marriage but at this time in my life I am not interested in sexual relationships. I do not date even as it seems the men are not on the same page as myself when it comes to marriage and sex.It is human nature to be lustful and out of control, too many only think about for the moment type pleasures that have no real benefit in the end. Remaining true to your beliefs is the most important. It all works itself out at the end of the day.I have too many things to do to get right with God, I can not afford to keep getting strikes!!