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Updated on November 13, 2010

This Hub is a series which you can follow like a daily journal. I will probably not have time to write in this journal every day, but perhaps, at least several times a week, but that hasn't happened yet!.

I hope this "journal" will bring inspiration to you, especially to men. I hope it is a nudge or urge to grow love in your own garden. As men, we tend to experience love as a capturing and an enslaving of the person we love. We control and eventually suffocate this precious other. And all of that is about our own brokenness. Has absolutely nothing to do with the person we say we love. NOTHING. Except that perhaps he or she was broken enough to go along with our sick program! Sorry! Check out the initial blog


The Oldest Man Alive

So they asked him, "What is your secret? What makes it possible for you to live to such a ripe old age?"

He just sat there for the longest time. He loved to do that in interviews. It drove the reporters nuts. Besides being a lover, he was also a guy, in other words, a control freak!

He finally looked up and answered their question.

"You know, I heard that French woman, who lived to be almost 118, tell you guys that she stopped smoking when she was ninety-seven! I thought that was hysterical.

Yeah, so what is my secret? What has kept me alive all these years? Well, that's pretty simple. LOVE. And to keep that love alive in my soul, I write a love letter every day to the woman of my dreams."

"Who is she?" they pushed him.

"Why do you ask such stupid questions? You gotta know who she is for crying out loud."

"Is she still alive?"

"Another stupid question. Are any of you reporter types intelligent? At all? Come on, of course she is alive. How or why would I write her every day if she were not alive? Soulmates never die. You live on each other's hearts, forever. And no matter where you might be living physically, you need to talk to each other every day, in here." And he tapped his heart. "Now, I've told you enough. Leave me be. I have a letter to write.

Dear Beth

Oh, how I miss you. I went down to Macy's yesterday and bought a bottle of your favorite perfume. I sprayed your body pillow with it and then cuddled up to you all night long. .

I dreamed I was running on the beach with you. We skirted the surf and splashed each other. We sat for awhile in the suds and dared each other to stay sat while the remnants of a couple of big waves rolled over us. The water was a bit cool, but your warm body next to me kept the goose bay.

O how I love it when I dream about you. I awoke not knowing for sure if maybe I had slipped back in time. I lay there in the bed silently, listening to see if I could hear you breathing next to me. I fell back to sleep and when I awoke with the sun, I listened to see if I could hear you making coffee in the kitchen. The smell of burnt toast seemed to be drifting into the bedroom from some place. I imagine from the neighbors. It is amazing how that smell can find its way in.

I am assuming you remember that today is our wedding anniversary. We would be married 75 years today. The young priest, who probably knows nothing about marriage, well, I guess his parents were married, so what am I talking about? But anyway, he said in his sermon last Sunday that there is no marriage in heaven. I found that interesting. So I wonder who you're hanging out with up there? You and Jack Russell, your old "buddy" from High School making out there on some cloud? Hey, it's okay. that's what heaven is for. Just save a few kisses for when I finally make it up there.

I keep wondering what the heck I am still doing here. Perhaps the great great grandkids keep me going. I love going to the park with them. I can still throw a pretty mean frisby but my arm was very sore the other day from throwing that damned thing.

I caught myself looking at a young checker at the grocery store the other day. Remember how you would elbow me when you caught me doing that? I remember you whispering in my ear something like, "keep that up, Jack, and you ain't gettin nothin tonight." That's the only reason I do it anymore just to hear your cute voice inside my head.

You are the best, Beth. No one can replace you. Occasionally, it feels like you are slipping away, but I grab on, I go deep into my soul where you seem to be permanently etched. I will never forget the time you said you needed to go away for awhile. You weren't sure if we were really meant to be married and you just needed space to figure it all out. I remember thinking that that was the end for sure, but I am forever grateful I gave you that time and space because then there were never any doubts or what if's. Our grandson, Patrick's girlfriend told him the very same thing a couple of weeks ago. I told Patrick, "Let her go, Patrick, let her fly. It will be the best decision the two of you ever make. Your grandmother and I were separated for awhile." I told him that I thought that time away from each other became the glue that held us together through thick and thin. Do you remember that time at all? What did you do during that time. You know, I never did ask you, and I sort of didn't want to ask you. I don't know, I figured if you came back, that was good enough. Why would I want to know anymore than that?

Thanksgiving is just a couple of weeks away. For whatever reason, I am not particularly looking forward to it this year. I don't know if the days without you are finally catching up with me or what? I thought just to distract myself, I might go the downtown mission and help serve that big Turkey dinner they put on each year.

Well, sweets, I miss you a bunch. I will write more tomorrow. Oh by the way, I had scrambled eggs and toast with butter and black berry jam. The seeds still stick in my teeth. When I heard myself crunching on the toast, it almost sounded like you were right next to me crunching on your toast.

I saw this poem today. Not sure what it meant for the poet, but I found it beautiful and wanted to share it with you.

Today, Lord

Today, Lord
You hold us high.
Your breath,
Like a gentle wind,
Spreads our wings.

(Fly, my love.)

You call us
To your wholeness.
Our souls perched
Eager and hesitant
For their separate journeys
Out of the darkness.

(I will fly, my love.)

You know us
By our hearts, Lord.

Forever held
By Your heart.

(We will fly, my love.)

Do you like the poem?

As always

Your Soul mate


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    • vrbmft profile image

      Vernon Bradley 6 years ago from Yucaipa, California

      Hi Sylvia

      I know these are really what? Not even a good word for it, painful difficult times.

      I really like the poem. Difficult as it is to fly and fear leaving behind......

    • profile image

      Justsilvie 6 years ago

      Just Lovely!

    • vrbmft profile image

      Vernon Bradley 6 years ago from Yucaipa, California

      Thanks, Tom. Happy Veterans Day. Thank you from the bottom or the top or the middle of my heart, sincerely, all humor aside, for your willingness to sacrifice your life for us.


    • justom profile image

      justom 6 years ago from 41042

      Thanks Vern, I'm gonna' talk to my son and my buddies are coming over so the veterans are going to have a bit of fun on veterans day. I think it feels real because it is Vern. I wish you Peace!! Tom

    • vrbmft profile image

      Vernon Bradley 6 years ago from Yucaipa, California

      HAPPY BIRTHDAY, TOM. If I were there, I'd sing the short version to you. You do it on your knees!! Wow, a birthday without someone special. Sixty One. You're catching up! Not quite the oldest man alive yet!! Let them eat cake!! Well, I hope you do something special for yourself. Glad the old man's journal could bring some peace. It's amazing when I write this journal. It almost feels real and maybe I am setting myself up in a goood way to live a long life. I have a lot to do before I check out. Take care. I will think about you tomorrow.


    • justom profile image

      justom 6 years ago from 41042

      Thanks for passin' this along Vern. Tomorrow's my birthday and what used to be a fun day is now kinda' just another day without someone special. I'm really glad I got to read this today, it's peaceful. Take care bro. Tom***Oh yeah (61)!!

    • vrbmft profile image

      Vernon Bradley 6 years ago from Yucaipa, California

      Hi Fgual. Happy you enjoy the journal. On my 60th birthday, someone asked me how much longer I thought I had to live. I was calculating I'd live to about 80. When I ralized that meant only twenty years left, I decided to make new reservations. My goal is at least 100, and I live healthyly in order to get there. Even stoppped drinking recently, eventho the myth is, it is supposed to help you live longer. My liver said the contrary!

      If you can be with your Mom when she passes.

      Thanks again for reading and commenting.


      I recently discovered my soul mate. It fits the definition by Thomas Moore in his book, Soul Mates. "A soul mate is someone to whom we feel profoundly connected, as though the communicating and communing that take place between us were not the product of intentional efforts, but rather a divine grace."

      I truly was not looking for this relationship. It just happened. Caught me totally off guard. And the circumstances are such that we may never be able to have the relationship we would like to have or seemingly were meant to have. And we are both people of integrity, so we are trying to walk through this in a way that is healthy and have whatever of the relationship is possible. Thus in my own imagination came the idea for the Oldest Man Alive Journal because it sometimes seems that we are separated by a physical distance that doesn't seem to alter our living in each other's souls and hearts. If I sound totally nuts, it's okay!! Glad you are with yours. Maybe I have been too intoxicated or intoxicated just enough to never before be open to this reality.

      Thanks for commenting. Glad you enjoyed it.




    • lorlie6 profile image

      Laurel Rogers 6 years ago from Bishop, Ca

      This is just lovely, Vern. Soul mates do exist! I am lucky enough to be with mine today-23 years next January. I hope we have many, many years ahead.

      Thanks so much for this!

    • FGual profile image

      FGual 6 years ago from USA

      What a beautiful story, I'm always wondering how people over a hundred keep going. Mom will be 90 this month and I am amazed she has lasted this long, as I wonder when I will get that phone call, out of the blue, that tells me she has passed. Dad passed away at 56, amazing.