- Gender and Relationships
Ten Things Women Love About Men
I love a good man. I have had good men as friends, boyfriends, and I was reared by one. As it turns out, the good women in my life, both married and single, tend to love good men also, and we started discussing some of the things we love about them. The disclaimer here is that some sweeping generalities have to be made for the purpose of prose. Everyone's different, and this list is not comprehensive. In fun, for the women that love men, we have our reasons, here's a rough ten. We LOVE:
1. When You Screw Up.
Let me be clear, most women don't want to date a screw-up, that's not what we're saying. It's just that imperfection can be endearing, if not comical. No one is perfect, and flaws can amuse a woman into solidarity with a man. Now there's a huge, gaping difference between, "honey, I just slept with your best friend, sorry" and "honey, I lost the gift you gave me, sorry." Here's a cute little screw-up of an ex of mine, I actually really like this one. We were headed somewhere, and he'd forgotten to do something, and when I asked him about it, he responded, "sorry, I forgot. Babe, you know I would have done it, you know I'm a puppy for you." So I'm thinking this is a pretty good line, and tell him so, and he happily takes full credit. Later that same day, I was listening to some music he'd sent me, and that exact line was in one of the songs he'd sent me. "Let You Down" by Dave Matthews Band, to be exact. So I call him on this, explaining that it's all in the execution, and he has to try harder to hide the lines he steals from songs from me. I thought it was funny. Your mistakes give us a little room to make our own, and helps us both to grow as people.
2. When You Brag About Your Girl.
Hopefully a man doesn't scatter the room with incessant talk about his significant other. But when a man is in love, and with a woman he's proud to be with, we all give him a little space to brag. It's sweet. It shows his appreciation for what he has. It's a testimony to her, but also a really great testimony to him as well.
3. When We Find Out Something Feminine About You.
We do not want you to try on our underwear. (At least most of us don't anyway). That's not the idea. Straight women usually like their men to be men. But when we find Carly Simon on one of your playlists, or hand cream (that belongs to you), in your glove compartment, or exfoliating cream in your medicine cabinet, it scores you points. My dad is about as macho as they come, maybe too much so. But nothing was more adorable to me then sneaking up on my dad to find him watching a Lifetime movie--alone. Listen, women know that you use having a girlfriend as a smart cover for doing girlie things you can't do otherwise. We know you want to watch Grey's Anatomy with us, and that it's easier to tell your friends it's a favor you're doing us because you're just such a great boyfriend. We like when we find out girlie things about you. It's cute, and it's funny. It's sexy.
Two Straight Guys Out Sans Girlfriends
- Hulu - How I Met Your Mother: Girlfriend Withdrawal
Video description: Ted points out to Marshal that his friend Brad is going through girlfriend withdrawal.
4. When You Fix Things.
When we come to you with a
problem, we are not always requesting for you to fix it. But we LOVE
this instinct about you. We like that you want to fix what's broken,
and we like that a lot of times, you can. We go to our girlfriends for
tears and enabling. We go to you because you will likely come up with a
5. When You Take The High-Road.
girls can usually be talked into anything. Girls with daddy issues, and
low-self esteem can usually also be talked into anything as well. When
a good man takes the drunk girl home safely--and leaves, this gets the
attention of the sober, possibly more together woman. When the good man
sees the easy prey--low self-esteem, daddy issues, and leaves her be,
or keeps her in the 'friends only' zone it calls him out as an
excellent man. In a world where ethics are dwindling by the second, a
man with a moral code is stand-alone sexy, and the vast majority of
women are in agreement about this. I won't speak for everyone, but when
I hear a man call a woman on disrespecting herself by staying with the
guy she's with, he certainly gets my attention. What will also get my
attention is a man who keeps a little standard to the type of woman
he'll date. I'm not too keen on the guy who's standard for a woman is
that she's female. There's nothing attractive about that. My guess on
why this is appealing for women is the fact that it shows a man's own
self-respect when he holds a woman to a standard.
6. When You Take Our Advice.
when you do this secretly--we always find out, and it's cute. We love
when you come to us for our opinion because it shows your regard for
what we have to say. Taking this next step, and actually following our
advice makes us feel really good. It makes us careful about the advice
we give you, and brings us closer to you.
7. When You Muse About The Future.
women daydream, muse, and plan for the future. I believe it's in our
DNA to do this. But when I'm with a guy, friend or boyfriend, and he
lets his mind wander about moving to France or having a family, or
learning to dance, or opening a restaurant--it's just magical in a way
that isn't coming from a woman. Half the reason men get our support on
some less-than-stellar ideas is for the sheer romance of it working in
our heads, and how enthralling it sounds coming from him.
8. When You Command Respect With Your Character and Your Actions.
of good character become men of good reputation, and it's hot. First
off, it shows that the guy is his own man. Being of good character, of
solid ethics today is essentially swimming against the current. It is
certainly not easy, but when you see it, you know it. Good character,
acts of humanitarianism, faith and general good will will keep the
woman you want at your side.
9. When You Have Hobbies and Interests That Have Nothing To Do With Us.
Sports. Personally, I'm intermittently into sports, I'm a product of a
very male upbringing. But even women who abhor nearly all things
athletic still like when a guy is into a sport. Clingy girls are
obnoxious, and so are clingy men. It is so enriching to a relationship
to be able to talk about distinct and separate interests. It's a great
way to self-preserve in a relationship--to maintain your identity--by
means of your own interests. And really the uniqueness of the person,
their identity, is what often draws us to them in the first place.
Besides, passion can be magnetic. I recently went wine-tasting with a
guy, a subject I only know the basics about, and his knowledge and
intensity about it was actually really intriguing. The only type of
woman who does not like for her man to have his own thing going on is
the type of woman who has nothing going on. And she will likely drive
10. When You Show The Occasional Display of Vulnerability.
Now crying more then your woman will likely not win you much action. It could, in fact mean a one-way ticket into platonic-land. But never crying is equally as strange. Women love your strength, and count on it. But those brief, unguarded moments, are part of what turns a woman from a booty-call (and I know plenty of women who are as casual about sex as men can be), to the person that makes you dinner. Everyone knows that only sociopaths don't feel, and sociopaths aren't usually much company. We know your emotions are part of you, and we love when we get to know more.
There are many other reasons women love men, but
this is my ten. Originally, I'd written that a nice eleventh would be how much we love when you let us drive your car. That eleventh is being quickly, and more appropriately replaced with,"we love when you support us." This works well in your favor, guys. I can remember a friend of mine promising her husband, "whatever he wanted night," just because he backed her up on some trivial issue with his family. He had no idea it meant that much to her. Support always goes a long way with a woman, and that's kind of the idea, right? If I were going to make the sexiest cologne in the world, I'd call it "Support." Support--better than pheromones.