- Gender and Relationships
That almost missed opportunity
We build walls around ourselves to protect us from the unknown. The things in life that scare us, or the things in life we do not want to confront. As we live our lives these walls grow bigger and bigger making our internal defensives stronger. What opportunities do we miss because we have these walls up? How many times are we afraid to say what we want but don't only to have our emotions hurt? For years, I have built my emotional wall. Writing about heart break, disappointment and despair.
I've had a person in my life for 4 years now who I now consider one of my best friends in the world. He knows everything about me. Has cried, laughed and hurt with me. We met, for what I think, at just the right time in our lives. Fate brought us together and without us even knowing one another we hit it off right away. Like we had known each other forever. I have told people he is my soul mate, not just because I love him, but because he is a mirror image of me. He has shown me that it is alright to be who I am. The only one who has been able to not only tear down my walls, smack some sense into me but remain in my soul without prejudice. Although we are both not spiritual, we both have a connection that can not be explained by words. Just seeing us together you can tell how strong our bond is.
You will meet people in your life and they will come and go. But then there are people who you meet, who unlike any other person, you can talk to hours about nothing, laugh about the dumbest things and always there when you need a shoulder to cry on. That one person, who when you are lost, is always there to pick you back up, give you hope and make you smile. Even if they themselves are not in the best of situations,, they manage to brighten your day, put a smile on your face and warm your heart. They are not the most perfect person but they are the perfect person for you.
I lost my opportunity more than once with him. His health was not the best and distance was a factor. I swore that if I ever had a chance to tell him again that I loved him, cared for him, and wanted to be with him that I would. There was never an opportunity where we were close enough to experience anything together but we were always a phone call away. He is like no other man I have ever met. He knows me better than myself.
Fate has brought us together again. This time in the same city. I took that leap today during a conversation and expressed my love to him. I seized the moment and hope that the odds are on my side. I don't let people in often and he is the one who holds my heart always and forever. Now I sit and wait wondering what my cards hold for me. Meeting you was fate, becoming your friend was a choice, but falling in love with you was out of my control. I won't let this opportunity be missed again as I may never have a chance to tell you how I really feel and miss the chance to have you in my life forever.