The Art of Moving On from a Romantic Relationship

When you have found your “one true love”, it feels like that your world only revolves around your partner. You give them unconditional love, attention and with everything that you have to that person and unexpectedly breakup happens.Your world seems to tear apart and you feel broken, empty and lost. How can you not be? When you gave almost everything and you were taken for granted. Love is the most beautiful blessing yet can be deadly if misinterpreted. Before continuing, let us define first the term “relationship”.

Relationship is a mutual connection between people. It can be in any form; friendship, romantic relationship, your family ties and even the relationship between you and your workmates. It will be called relationship once you have built respect between each other. But most of us will always associate the word “relationship” with romantic relationship.

Romantic relationship is a special and exclusive connection between two people. The two of you will build a bond through investing time, effort and affection. You consider each other as lifetime partners, build your own family and grow old together. Involving into a romantic relationship can start at a very young age. It differs among different cultures. Generally, the society expects us to have a romantic relationship to our opposite sex. But in this new era, people are starting to accept any form of romantic relationship but let’s not talk about that here, let’s skip the fairy tale story. What if the person you have treasured the most will leave you? What will happen to you?

Break-ups can be devastating emotionally and mentally, especially if you were sincere about your relationship, yet, you were still left behind. Some will loose their sense of identity or worse, some will commit suicide. Breakup is a serious matter since lives and mental health are at stake. Some of our folks out there might be suffering and they need help to go through breakups.

Every person has its own way to cope up with breakups but when you are suffering emotionally, you can't think straight and you need guidance. These are some tips from me, this is my personal take from dealing with my own breakups.

There are three things to remember when you want to move on from a breakup, PAUSE-REFLECT-PONDER. That is where the process starts.Self-awareness is also an important factor. In order for you to go through the process, you need to be conscious of your own feelings and thoughts.The feeling of pain is normal. You can recognize your emotions, let yourself cry, feel the pain and go through the process of grieving. But at the same time, don’t let your emotions eat you up. It is important to proceed to the next step, which is to PAUSE.

PAUSE. Give yourself a break. You don’t need to have a getaway in fancy places. You can spend your time through doing the things that you love; watching movies, playing guitar, reading books or gaming. Find something that serves as an outlet and as a diversion from your emotional grief. Once you are starting to regain yourself, you are ready for the next step.

REFLECT. This is where you identify where did you fall short that caused the breakup. This process might take a while because this will involve denial and anger. It is important for you to know the causes of the breakup. It's part of self-awareness. If you can able to identify your own faults, you can learn from your mistakes and it can improve you as a person.

PONDER. In the last process, you will know yourself even more. And self-worth is the most important factor to help you succeed in moving on. Ask yourself, “Did I deserve to be treated badly or to be cheated on?” or “Is my life worth to be wasted for someone who can’t love me back?” Once you know your self-worth, you will know your purpose and when you are fully aware of your purpose, suicide is not an option.

Every person has its different disposition in dealing with grief. It is important to have a support system from your friends and your family. The art of moving on is know your self worth, to know your value and to know that you have a place in this world.