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The Best Dating Tips For Men

Updated on November 23, 2015

Going Out

First dates can be looked back on as the beginning of a couple's wonderful journey together of falling in love and, possibly, building a life together or they can also be looked back on as the most awkward, uncomfortable experience an individual has ever endured in any romantic relationship. A first date isn't just about getting to know someone better, it is an opportunity to get them away from work and day-to-day mundane activities and impress them.

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Impress Without Showing Off

This doesn’t mean trying to be someone you’re not and pretending you have traits that you deem impressive to the opposite sex but you can be creative with date ideas rather than “so how about dinner and a movie?” Which has to be the single most suggested date idea since cinemas and restaurants first opened. Consider some hobbies that your date has told you she enjoys and see if you could use these – a classic example being dancing or hiking. Taking your date out to the cinema blocks the chances of having a good conversation, and can result in a fairly boring date – so think about some activities that you can do together while being able to laugh and converse together.

Be Decisive

The second tip for any man going on a date is to be decisive. Of course this doesn’t mean be pushy or arrogant but there is nothing more frustrating than being on a date with someone who keeps asking their date to make decisions about where to go or what to do next. Take the lead by having a clear picture in your mind of where you would really like to go for a first date – a nice restaurant, the beach, a hike and picnic… Whatever suits you and your date.

Remember that being able to make a decision shows that you are a confident individual - and that is a very attractive quality in a partner.

Look Good

When getting ready for a date, any person wants to look the part and, of course, it’s essential to dress appropriately for the kind of date you’re going on – for instance, if going to a fancy restaurant that expects a jacket and tie dress code, turning up in trainers and jeans may not go down very well and could make your date feel very uncomfortable. If you’re trying out a new restaurant, make sure you know whether it’s a formal or smart-casual dress code and give your date the heads up, so she knows what to expect.

Body Language Is Key

Body language is very important when on a date – making eye contact and smiling makes you seem warm, trust-worthy and confident – which are all important traits in a partner. Not only is the body language you use important but it is vital to understand some basic body language so that you can read how your date is feeling – if she is avoiding eye contact it means she’s feeling a bit nervous, crossing her arms portrays a ‘defensive’ posture and hunching over or looking down demonstrates a lack of confidence.

Be Interested And Have A Giggle

Ask questions about her work, where she grew up, what her favourite hobbies are etc. Conversation should flow naturally on a date and showing a genuine interest in your date’s life will make you seem even more appealing. It is also a brilliant way to ‘break the ice’ but don’t fire too many questions at your date too quickly as it can end up feeling more like an interview than a romantic evening.

Don’t be afraid to make jokes but avoid anything that could be deemed offensive or personal – sometimes a joke made out of affection on a date can really upset someone who has gone through a lot of effort. For some people, being on a date can make them feel vulnerable and outside their comfort zone – so compliment something about them after greeting them – be specific – empty clichéd phrases don’t really go that far; for instance “your hair really suits you up”, is a lot more flattering than “you look nice”, because you’ve noticed a particular feature, and voiced how much you like it. Women and men both really appreciate this on dates, it feels good and can make you feel more confident immediately.

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Be Considerate

When on the date, small gestures can make a lady feel really special. Opening doors for her and pulling out her chair when she goes to sit (if you are eating at a restaurant), is a relatively small and simple action but it really goes a long way.

When it comes to the much disputed subject of ‘should you kiss on a first date’, there really is no right or wrong – some women will feel offended if a man expects her to kiss him goodbye on the lips, whereas other women look forward to that moment on the date – it all depends on factors that only you as an individual can judge; the character or your date, how long you have known each other and if there is a strong attraction on both sides. Don’t over think it, just go with the flow, and if you want to kiss her goodbye but aren’t sure, simply ask if it’s okay. To some men, this may seem silly but it is actually very important and your date will think of you as more of a gentleman than if you just swoop in and end up with her pulling away out of surprise.

Don't Be Afraid To Flirt

A small amount of flirting can be really sexy on a date. Flirting is fun and a great way to make things feel more relaxed between two people.

Obviously you know the individual who is going on the date and when out together you can judge how much flirting is appropriate, although less is often more in certain situations, and dating is one example.


Common First-Date Mistakes

The first, and probably most common, mistake that a lot of people make on first dates is talking about themselves too much. Be sure to show more interest in the other person than yourself when dating, otherwise you end up looking arrogant and self centered (which is a massive turn-off for everyone). Another thing: try to not bring up past relationships because this is usually a bad subject for first dates, unless the other person brings it up first (this is due to the fact if you ask someone about a past relationship, it can get a bit awkward, unless you're careful about what you say. Best not risk the topic though - it's usually very uncomfortable).

Before you go on the date it's a good idea to have a few topics in mind that you can talk to the person about to break any awkward silences that may arise - awkward silences are big turn-offs because you're not going to want to date someone you can't talk to. So try and remember to talk about things like hobbies, likes, dislikes and general interests. Make sure you have enough chat up your sleeve stored away to prevent awkward moments.

Another thing that's an unforgivable mistake is common courtesy slip-ups such as talking with your mouth full, chewing loudly, chewing with your mouth open and other disgusting habits people may forget to be conscious of. Can you imagine trying to converse while watching the other person in horror as they lick their fingers and blow their nose on their napkin. ALWAYS have a little attention on what you are doing. This includes posture (sitting at the table hunched over as if you're in pain looks terrible). Try to maintain an up-right, but not stiff position as this shows off confidence and looks attractive.

Another common mistake for women on first dates is slapping on the make-up and slipping into clothes that are unsuitable (too tight, too short, too see-through or too low-cut). No matter what women think, men do NOT want girls to cake themselves in make-up and wear really short skirts on dates, they would much rather go on a date with someone in a pretty smart-casual dress or skirt and a touch of make up to emphasize their lips and eyelashes (that means mascara and lip gloss, no foundation as it isn't necessary). Also, not too much perfume as this is another big turn off. A squirt on the neck and the wrist will suffice. There is no need for you to drench yourself in the stuff as it will be over-powering for the person you are meeting.

Finally, the most important thing is to relax. Dating someone who is sweaty, shaky and clearly very nervous is really off-putting. Be at your most confidence and take measures to reach that confidence level before being picked up or meeting that person. For example, take a long bath to relax yourself and make yourself as comfortable as possible so you won't be worrying over how you look etc... Dates are supposed to be as fun as possible and to enjoy it as much as possible you need to be confident.





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    • tazzytamar profile image
      Author

      Anna 3 years ago from chichester

      Good point(s) can't believe I missed that! I'll add it!

      You're clearly an excellent dating guru ;)

      Thank you for your comment :)

    • dashingscorpio profile image

      dashingscorpio 3 years ago

      Voted up and useful!

      Although I must add the older one becomes the more they realize the best thing to do is simply "be yourself". Ultimately the goal is to find someone who will love and appreciate your "authentic self".

      Too often people pull the old "bait & switch" tactics of doing whatever it takes to "win someone over" and once there is an emotional investment on the part of their mate that's when they'll show you who they really are.

      If someone thinks you're "HOT" and you suggest going to them you go camping or to the ballet they are likely to say "yes" because they don't want to blow a chance getting to spend time with you. Foolishly you think you found (a kindled spirit). However a year or two later you'll discover they never had any interest in that activity! They'll now tell you to your face they HATE it!

      Like I said this Hub has great advice but for those people in their late 30s, 40s, 50s and beyond a "first date" is really about trying to get to know the (real) person while (being yourself). If a person is not impressed with who you naturally are then they're not the "right person" for you. :)

    • tazzytamar profile image
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      Anna 3 years ago from chichester

      Very true and a really excellent point! If I write one of these for women I am definitely including "take a compliment with grace", and "allow a man to be a gentleman!"

    • profile image

      calhounn2 3 years ago

      Great hub.....many people these days don't realize that the little things on a date such as laughter and chivalry can take you a long way. But it's also a woman's job to be able to accept that treatment. Many women today surprisingly aren't used to being treated with chilvary and kindness, although they should demand it. Hopefully the readers of this hub will know and realize what to expect from a good man/woman