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The Bliss of Friendship

Updated on November 21, 2019
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Juneyoung is a mentor and youth leader at Collegiate Association for the Research of Principles Kenya chapter.

“The deepest friendship is guided by unconditional love.”

Friends are like crystals.

Friends are like crystals, precious gems that are worth treasuring. The same way you would put jewels in a safe, should be the same way you keep your friendships deep within the safe of your heart. As with real gems, polishing them once in a while to keep them sparkling clean doesn’t hurt. What do we have to lose when we invest a little more in our friendships?

When you see your friend shine in the light of your love, you will feel joyful and happy. That’s the nature of true friendship. Unfortunately, people tend to miss the very many jewels placed in their lives, and consequently there is a great deal of vacant space in their hearts also known as loneliness. If we develop true friends who will stick with us through thick and thin, then life becomes worth living.

Who Is A True Friend?

A true friend is someone who accepts and understands us deeply and with whom we can share any experiences. We can freely trust such a person, freely disclose the innermost secrets in our heart, knowing that our friend will safeguard them. There’s nothing to hide from a true friend, because his/her heart is one and the same with ours. We all need this kind of friend in life. Truth be told, such friends don’t come easy. The first step to finding such a friend is to become a true friend yourself.

Isn’t it true that friends come to understand each other with experience over time? Sincerely learning to understand someone is the basis of respect, because we begin to acknowledge each other’s value. This usually takes some effort, time and quite a bit of patience. Getting to understand who you really are and what values represent you can come in handy. We shouldn’t be afraid when it comes to knowing who we truly are. When we make that effort, we will discover the essence of our entire being. Learn to value and understand yourself first, create harmony between your mind and your body i.e. align your words with your deeds and let the magic happen. Creating harmony in any relationship takes effort from both sides.

The quickest way to become a friend and to have one is to give the most valuable thing you possess-your heart, once we’ve learned to value and appreciate ourselves. Why not money? Jewels? Free drinks? Don’t those things matter? The truth is they do, but no amount of money or material possession can be compared to how much precious your sincere, deep and truly loving heart is.

The highest level of friendship can be extended between brothers and sisters. Best friends may recognize each other as “family.” Some of our friends become closer to us than our own family members. Referring to each other as “brother” or “sister” is a natural gesture that we may understand too simply. But, there’s more to this. Relationships between brothers and sisters can also be quite difficult. When children don’t feel enough love from their parents, they may take their frustrations out on their younger brother or sister.

Although the majority of people in this world long for love and friends, most do not think so deeply about developing relationships. That’s why we have terms like, “friends with benefits or frenemies.” There is much to friendship than just being friendly. Friendship always develops and matures, even after it is established; it does not stay static but changes like the seasons- Autumn, winter, spring and summer. A relationship of love takes a tremendous amount of time, effort and sacrifice. The deepest friendship is guided by unconditional love.

Sometimes the concept of friendliness is misunderstood and equated with permissiveness. The two are synonymous. A true friend will point out if you have made an error. A person who loves or respects you or is friendly to you is not automatically your friend. If he/she knowingly lets you do something that harms yourself or others without trying to stop you, he/she is not a real friend. Then who are they? Let’s just refer to them as “people you know.”

True friends care about you and your real problems. When you are in trouble or have difficulties in your family life, the most valuable is the support of family members and friends. That’s what friends are for. Through good times and bad times, you can always count on a friend to be at your side.

Best Friend Problems?

There can be challenges even between the best of friends. It’s not surprising that best friends fight or disagree over certain things. Any time two people are especially close, there’s bound to be some fighting from time to time. As a matter of fact, an important part of a friendship is knowing that the two of you can fight and let out angry feelings without having to worry that the friendship will be over. Sometimes having a problem or a fight and making up brings you closer than you can imagine. It helps to remember that, as awful as it might feel to fight with your best friend, it’s bound to happen at least once in a while.

Life is a journey. Who we choose as our travelling companions determines whether or not we reach our destination.

“There are four friends who should be reckoned as good-hearted: the helper; the friend who is the same in happiness and adversity; the friend of good counsel; the friend who sympathizes.”- Gautama Buddha.

© 2019 June Young


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