ArtsAutosBooksBusinessEducationEntertainmentFamilyFashionFoodGamesGenderHealthHolidaysHomeHubPagesPersonal FinancePetsPoliticsReligionSportsTechnologyTravel

The Body Barter System

Updated on October 3, 2019

You Owe Me

I am thankfully off the market, but before settling down I was exposed to some strange expectations from more than a few potential mates. I even had one gentleman ask me quite directly for some kind of a timetable that would give him hope for a sexual encounter in the near future, because all those fancy Taco Bell meals were adding up. All two of them. Sheesh.
No one wants to waste their time if the relationship is going nowhere, but what is a reasonable demand as opposed to a power move?

Don't Get Too Worked Up

Relax, it's just a date!
Relax, it's just a date! | Source

Plus One

Now that I'm a mother, the idea of dating in the modern age is more horrifying. My mom friends and I always discuss our concerns every time we see another news article about a mother's child being raped, molested, tortured or even murdered by a boyfriend she trusted to watch the child while she was at work or, even worse, out with friends. The idea that a woman with a child or children is fortunate anyone is giving her the time of day is still a reality, even in 2017. Some women settle for less, and others tolerate personality defects and even joblessness to have some semblance of a relationship. The already-high stakes of dating become insurmountable when factoring in the life of an impressionable, innocent child.

What To Do?

You cannot be paralyzed by fear. However, these are very real concerns. There are strategies one can apply when dating in the microwave generation. The process may take time, but depending on what you're seeking, you can narrow down the undesirables by getting clear on what your agenda is, and sticking with it.

Closed Mouths Don't Get Fed

What has been looked upon as a negative shift in the dating world actually has advantages. Where at one time it was unladylike to seek anything other than a wedding ring, a new school of thought has taken over the land! In this day and age, you are no longer deemed unworthy or lacking in self respect if you are not in the market for a husband. Exercise your freedom of choice, and speak up for yourself! If you are childless, unmarried, and not looking to be, let it be known! If you want a monogamous sex partner but do not want to date or even be seen often, express your desires! If you make it know and the other party does not want to participate, do not look upon the experience as a rejection. Whomever says "no thanks" is simply clearing the way for the person who will say "yes". Relationships have always been varied, but it was not considered proper to make mention of the range of relationships. There are people of all ages getting their needs for companionship met in a myriad of ways, be it a middle-aged couple of friends who have been hooking up during droughts since college, or elderly acquaintances who visit each other from time to time for some afternoon delight, as well as the more traditional boyfriend/girlfriend roles. Do not let a desire go unfulfilled simply because it is unpopular. Be safe, be honest, and enjoy yourself! You only have one life. Live to the fullest in the way that speaks to you.

What's Your Flavor?

What are you looking for in a partner?

See results

Do Not Allow Insecurities to Hinder You

For every so-called shortcoming you have, there is a person who literally would not bat an eye at it. These kinds of issues arise heavily for women who have survived emotionally traumatizing relationships. There is a constant battle on the ping pong table of their minds where words and experiences replay and are rejected over and over again. There is no way you can have a long term relationship not influence your perspective at all. You can change your perspective on the experience and make it more about who the other person was and less about who you are. Someone who impregnated you may have decided you were worthless six months into the pregnancy. It is hurtful, but it is also a reflection of who he was toward you, and not who you are. Someone who once loved you for being ambitious may have left you because he felt you chose your career over him. Once again, it hurts to give your energy to someone who doesn't see the vision you have for your life and thus does not support you in return. That's still his cross, not yours. Someone consistent, honest and on par with your desires exists, and you don't want to miss your tomorrow crying about yesterday. Someone wants what you have to give, not in spite of, but because of, who you are.

Take a Leap of Faith

Take a chance on being your absolute true self.  You don't know what the rewards could be.
Take a chance on being your absolute true self. You don't know what the rewards could be. | Source

This website uses cookies

As a user in the EEA, your approval is needed on a few things. To provide a better website experience, uses cookies (and other similar technologies) and may collect, process, and share personal data. Please choose which areas of our service you consent to our doing so.

For more information on managing or withdrawing consents and how we handle data, visit our Privacy Policy at:

Show Details
HubPages Device IDThis is used to identify particular browsers or devices when the access the service, and is used for security reasons.
LoginThis is necessary to sign in to the HubPages Service.
Google RecaptchaThis is used to prevent bots and spam. (Privacy Policy)
AkismetThis is used to detect comment spam. (Privacy Policy)
HubPages Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide data on traffic to our website, all personally identifyable data is anonymized. (Privacy Policy)
HubPages Traffic PixelThis is used to collect data on traffic to articles and other pages on our site. Unless you are signed in to a HubPages account, all personally identifiable information is anonymized.
Amazon Web ServicesThis is a cloud services platform that we used to host our service. (Privacy Policy)
CloudflareThis is a cloud CDN service that we use to efficiently deliver files required for our service to operate such as javascript, cascading style sheets, images, and videos. (Privacy Policy)
Google Hosted LibrariesJavascript software libraries such as jQuery are loaded at endpoints on the or domains, for performance and efficiency reasons. (Privacy Policy)
Google Custom SearchThis is feature allows you to search the site. (Privacy Policy)
Google MapsSome articles have Google Maps embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
Google ChartsThis is used to display charts and graphs on articles and the author center. (Privacy Policy)
Google AdSense Host APIThis service allows you to sign up for or associate a Google AdSense account with HubPages, so that you can earn money from ads on your articles. No data is shared unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
Google YouTubeSome articles have YouTube videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
VimeoSome articles have Vimeo videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
PaypalThis is used for a registered author who enrolls in the HubPages Earnings program and requests to be paid via PayPal. No data is shared with Paypal unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
Facebook LoginYou can use this to streamline signing up for, or signing in to your Hubpages account. No data is shared with Facebook unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
MavenThis supports the Maven widget and search functionality. (Privacy Policy)
Google AdSenseThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Google DoubleClickGoogle provides ad serving technology and runs an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Index ExchangeThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
SovrnThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Facebook AdsThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Amazon Unified Ad MarketplaceThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
AppNexusThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
OpenxThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Rubicon ProjectThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
TripleLiftThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Say MediaWe partner with Say Media to deliver ad campaigns on our sites. (Privacy Policy)
Remarketing PixelsWe may use remarketing pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to advertise the HubPages Service to people that have visited our sites.
Conversion Tracking PixelsWe may use conversion tracking pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to identify when an advertisement has successfully resulted in the desired action, such as signing up for the HubPages Service or publishing an article on the HubPages Service.
Author Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide traffic data and reports to the authors of articles on the HubPages Service. (Privacy Policy)
ComscoreComScore is a media measurement and analytics company providing marketing data and analytics to enterprises, media and advertising agencies, and publishers. Non-consent will result in ComScore only processing obfuscated personal data. (Privacy Policy)
Amazon Tracking PixelSome articles display amazon products as part of the Amazon Affiliate program, this pixel provides traffic statistics for those products (Privacy Policy)
ClickscoThis is a data management platform studying reader behavior (Privacy Policy)