Friends are Our Chosen Family

The challenges and joys of friendships are endless. It is daily commitment to make new friends and keeping old ones. To enjoy rewarding friendships, you need to make a continual effort to be a good and caring friend. The action of being a good friend may appear to be easier than it is. Friends will need your attention from time to time to either listen or help them through a difficult time. Sometimes friends just need you to run an errand or help out with a project. They may often want more from you than you are willing to give. You have to evaluate the friendship and decide how important it is. Always remember that one day you may need a good friend to help you through a difficult time.

Some people just like collecting friends to add to their list, and often don't nurture these friendships, which in reality are just acquaintances. Warm and caring friendships give our lives meaning, and fill that special need to feel cherished and important. There is nothing better than a good friend who listens, shares and gives advice--when asked.

We can choose our friends unlike our families, so this alone makes them very special. We look to our friends to help us through difficult times in our lives.

Some friendships last a short period of time and are ended for the following reasons:

• A change in residence
• A change in lifestyle
• The end of a common activity
• A serious disagreement

Some of us enjoy having a wide variety of people in our lives, and others just like to have a few close friends. And sometimes this changes as we get older.

Being a good friend is a commitment to the other person. Helping a friend when he needs you for support and also when he needs a good listener makes for a lasting relationship. Many times friends don't really want your opinion, but merely want to vent their feelings about something in life. I always ask a friend who is about to share a confidence if she wants to vent or if she wants my opinion. This saves a lot of grief. Sometimes friends are valuable in our lives during a period when we are going through a rough time, and when the rough time is over the friendship may end. This may feel sad, but look at it in another way--this person was sent to us to help through that difficult time.

Many of us might think we have a lot of friends, however it is time to recognize whether they are friends or just good acquaintances.

Four Groups:

• An "A" Friend --You generally have one or two. This person you can count on for almost anything and to be there for you. You never have to ask.
• A "B" friend--This person you can count on for many things and can confide certain things. You may have to ask for their help when needed.
• A "C" friend: This person is fun to be around and do things with, but you share mostly superficial things.
• A "D" friend--This person you see occasionally and mostly at group activities or places that you frequent.

There are many places to meet new friends:

• Your neighborhood
• Place of worship
• A specific activity
• Chamber of Commerce or other service group
• Volunteering
• Work
• Classses
• Introduction from another friend
• Online

These places are excellent for meeting people whether you have moved to a new place or just looking to increase your sphere of friendships. Not everyone you meet and like will turn into a rewarding friendship. Being friendly and interested in others is a good way to attract and make new friends anywhere.

As we age there are more challenges to meeting new people, especially if we are moving to a new residence. When we were younger we met friends through out kids and their activities as well as making new friends at our place of work. Friendships usually take some time to generate and seeing people often in one place or a specific activity helps create a friendship.

Many people are often content with their circle of friends and don't want to add new ones, particularly as they reach senior years. The best way to ensure new friendships is through activities and volunteering. Reach out and make your place in the community by taking advantage of classes, clubs, activities and places of worship. Be patient and the friends will come. Sometimes when you are the new person you have to be the one who does the inviting. Welcome people in your home or suggest doing a fun activity together. Try not to be sensitive to every little comment about plans being made without you. This will change in time.