The Changes of Relationships
Are they Important?
Relationships are valued at a young age. As a child, we strive to be around others we know and connect with. However, have our relationships changed throughout history? Now, I do not mean friendships overall. I am refering to dating, marriage, children, and possibly divorce. These have always been important in creating who we are and what we do. They are important and change us. But how have we responded to these through history and now?
Throughout history, there have existed certain methods to dating. A common method is giving gifts. These have not changed much. A male could give a female flowers, clothing. Some of the gifts that are rare or no longer existent are slaves, horses, candles, pens, feathers, beads, cloth, etc.
However, the youths adoration of spending time with their person of interest has changed. People used to live miles and miles apart. Sometimes best friends lived in different cities. It could take all morning to reach one friend's home. The existence of electronics and technology has changed this dramatically. Now we constantly talk to people all the time and see some of our friends either at their homes by car or through web cameras on their computers.
Dates have always been sexual and will always be sexual. Nothing here has changed except how society felt about sexual acts. The Victorian era posed as the worst time in history for sex.
Throughout history arranged marriages have existed. Even now, there are countries that follow this act. This causes a sense of no control. If the youth get involved in a relationship, they would have to attempt to forget their past love, or attempt to run away from the arranged marriage. Though love has been known to exist after years and years of being with those the marriage was arranged with. They are used to their partner and accept them for who they are.
Now, most teenagers would throw a fit or most likely run away if their parents suggested an arranged marriage. And yet there are fewer divorces in countries where arranged marriages exist compared to countries where there are very few arranged marriages.
Couples in marriages has changed as well. There used to be respect for your partner. You might not know much about them, yet you valued them. Why? Because you would have to spend your time with them. They would pay the bills, take care of your children, even control your future.
Now we do not see that we must spend our time with our partner for life. We spend our time adoring, cuddling up, and doing everything with our partner. This did not happen before. They had things to do. They were always busy during the day and barely seeing each other. Also people went to sleep earlier than before. They did not spend as much time as we do with our partners.
Also they did not talk as much. Verbal conversation was a pleasantry, it was a way of being nice. In carrage rides, they would sometimes talk with short and small comments. When being together, they didn't always talk. Sometimes they just sat their and read a book. They wrote letters to friends in the evenings. Women stitched, men drank with friends.
Is there a key to these differences for a successful marriage?
Children in the household has changed. During most of history, children were not viewed very well. At one time they were considered mini-adults. They were to speak when spoken to. They were more for show and not for tell. Wilchren had to grow up sooner. They worked at younger ages to help their families. It was necessary for them to survive. They focused on living for another day, more than their education.
Children are adored now. They are loved and focused on. We study and listen to children now. Most adults actually focus on their children more than themselves. The complete opposite has occured through history. A child doing certain work is considered child abuse. This concept of child abuse was non-existent through history. Will this harm our future or help it?
Divorce used to be highly frowned upon. It was viewed as a failure. They should have succeeded or tried harder in their life. Most divorces were only allowed if one of the partner's was cheating or high abuse was proven. However, this is only in the past two hundred years. Before that, abuse was accepted between couples and kept hidden. A man could beat his wife and children without any worry of harm.
Also in divorce, the men recieved everything. He kept the home, the belongings, even the children. The woman kept nothing, not even the clothes on her back. It was a man's world and they liked it that way. Why? Because men were the only one who had a say in politics and the way the world worked at the time. Because of these factors, women would rather stay with their abusive husbands than go anywhere else. A husband offered protection from rape, starvation, and being homeless.
Women, now, have power. They can file for a divorce and can fight for what they believe they deserve. A judge normally gives the children to the mother as children grow up better with a mothers love. However, both parents have to go through a psychoanalysis to see which adult is better capable to raise the children.