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The Complicated Boundaries of Friendship

Updated on December 1, 2011

To Cross or Not to Cross?

Friends have a way of creeping into your heart unnoticed. There are friends that we just cannot leave nor be angry at. Even if you were mad at him or her, you won't stay on that feeling too long - he/she knows the way to your heart. And you will find yourself forgiving them for all their almost understated shortcomings and faults.

Friendships are always subject to tests They say that if you want to stay friends for long, do not borrow money from your friend. Some of the few people I know would even say not to entrust everything to a friend because they can be the best enemies you can have. In this context, may I ask, are they also the best lovers anyone can have?

Well, they know the way to our hearts. They can easily find a way to exploit our weakness or support our strengths. They have the power to help us evolve into better individuals as well as limit us to develop both profesionally and emotionally. If they have the possibility to be our ultimate nemesis, they also have the greatest opportunity to be our lifelong partner, don't you think so?

The next question is, do you cross that thin line separating friendship and the next level that comes next? Who says that the friendship path has only one straight level? I mean, relationships are like algorithms. When you decided to be just a friend even if the intimacy between you and that person is something more, there are difficulties that you need to surmount.

Chances are, your friend also feels the same. But what to do? There are certain factors that you need to consider - his/her present relationship status primarily. Will you cross to the other side?

If you don't, there is something inside you that you know will die. Something that started so strongly, (because if it's not that strong, you won't be thinking about him/her now as you read this write-up) is difficult to extinguish.

Ever heard of the old Chinese tradition of making women wear small wooden shoes? It was customary for Chinese women to wear them - this is to stop the feet from growing too big. During those times, a Chinese woman's small and dainty feet is a highly desirable trait. Imagine how your bones will be able to grow with wooden shoes! We cannot even begin to imagine how one can bear such pain? I myself cannot bear using a pair of shoe that does not fit well. At the end of the day, it adds up to the tiredness you feel from your work - imagine the fight you will have to curb that feeling!

A friend of mine once told me: "Not because you love someone doesn't mean that your friendship needs to change to a more-than-friends relationship." In the same way, what I am telling you is that, by telling someone that he/she is special in a way you cannot explain nor begin to understand, it also does not mean that you want a relationship more than what you are enjoying right now.

The bottom line is, do not rush. Let it grow...or die naturally. Murphy's Law states that: "Anything that can go wrong, will go wrong." In the same way, what will happen, has to happen.


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