- Gender and Relationships
Moving On & Letting Go
You're at your wits end because you know it just isn't working anymore. You've finally come to the realization that this toxic relationship has no place in your life. Knowing the friendship is over doesn't make it any easier to move on.
We often find it hard to take the necessary steps to move forward because we're stuck trying to hold onto what used to be. It's much like mourning a death. Essentially it is. The friend is no longer a part of your life and you're stuck with only memories. The worst thing we can do is try to hold onto a friendship long after it's dead. Here's a few tips on how to move forward in a healthy and happy manner.
- Let yourself mourn. It's natural. You have to go through the steps, and the first step is allowing yourself to feel the pain. Otherwise you're just letting it simmer until it eventually boils over. However, don't dwell on it. Take the necessary time and then make the decision to stop and go on.
- Facebook/Twitter. Delete them from your social networking sites. The onset of social networking has made us all serial lurkers. You know seeing what's going on in their life (that you're no longer a part of) is only going to hurt. Why torment yourself? Also, no bashing. It will only get ugly if you're spilling the ugly details on the internet.
- Forgive & Forget. Forgive their crimes along with yours. We often tend to lose touch with the fact that forgiveness is for you, not the other person. You're only letting it hinder your happiness by holding resentments or hard feelings about past actions. Why weigh yourself down with the heavy emotional baggage of grudges. Forgiveness does not get someone off the hook for bad behavior, instead it allows you to live in the present and future as opposed to the past.
- Deal with mutual friends. Make it a point to ask your mutual friends to respect your decision. Let them know you'd rather not discuss the issues and that you're focusing on moving forward. They should be respectful of the fact that you don't want to hear about the great lunch date they just had sans you! This ensures your relationships with any mutual friends remain copacetic and aren't damaged as well.
- Remember the lessons learned. No one is perfect. As human beings we're constantly growing. Take from the situation what you can. What do you wish you could have done differently? What do you wish the other person did differently? How will you handle yourself if you're in a similar situation in the future?
- Be Open. People change. Don't rule out the possibility of a reconciliation (in due time). If it happens, take it slow and test the waters. Just don't burn any bridges. Stay amicable.
What are your tips for moving on? Leave your comments below.