- Gender and Relationships
The Italian Forbidden Action
The door To nowhere, Stayed Closed For Many Years
The Why is because I let it stay closed. I had no power no control and allowed this to happen. I grew up in a terrible pile of dysfunctional trash. I never learned the importance of respecting myself.I do respect myself now, but that didn't happen overnight. I learned that women were used as objects for men to clean their home, cook, and raise their kids and take whatever garbage they had to hand out.
If the man came home in a bad mood he could take it out on his wife. It was the wife's fault no matter what the problem. If the husband wanted he could go out on Friday and come back on Sunday morning and sleep all day on Sunday. Then he would go to work on Monday morning
The bar was the most important thing to my first husband. I lived in that because in my family the women were taught there is no divorce. You must stay married at all cost. I think back in the generation I grew up in they cared more about what the neighbors thought than the welfare of their own child. The women today are free.In defence of the people at that time that is the way it was done. We also knew better than to come home pregnant If you thought it was fine, it wasn't. Marriage was pushed on girls so they got married.
I would have to think teens in the 60s were more mature. Still I don't think it is right for 18 1st 19 year old kids to be pushed to marry to prevent pregnancy.
No Divorce In Italian Families
This is 1968 and in the Italian families the men rule. The men rule in every aspect of life. I saw my mother do everything for my father. Work all day and work the second job at home, as he did not help her do anything in the house.
I think they married us off so fast so no one got pregnant. Pregnancy was non existent for girls back then. I think we knew one girl who went to Ohio and was never seen again. We all knew she went to have a baby. We knew that if you got pregnant you would be getting married. We mostly were raised to do what we were told.
In the Italian family we knew what are job was, it included everything in the house. Cooking, cleaning, laundry and iron everything, Make sure your husbands clothes looked great. Take full responsibility for all the work in the home. That house had to be clean from top to bottom. The Italian children had to be clean and neat at all times. The kids were like little neat statues.
In the Italian family all the problems were kept in the family or swept under the rug. I felt sorry for the aunts that took so much abuse from the husbands. The abuse ran from infidelity to beatings. Women were kept at home to keep them so dependent on the man. This gave the man a tremendous amount of control. Yes, I believe in that forbidden word Divorce. In defence of the younger children, they did not turn out like the older generation. Those born in the 40s and 1950s kids in the family turned out better. These men and women knew how to treat their spouse. If they didn't there was a divorce. Its like the older generation stuck it out even if it was wrong.If I stop and think about it, they really were stuck. They had no job, no education or training for a job. Some of these ladies did not even drive.
What Is The Italian Wedding?
The First Pioneer
The first to get the divorce was one of my aunts. Her husband was having an affair and she was supposed to stay married. She did for awhile but then finally moved out with her 3 children. She was working in a restaurant and barely getting by with the kids.
I listened to the talk from the brothers and sisters They thought she would go crawling back to her husband.I wish some one in the family would have helped her with some money. I was only a kid at the time. I think she would have done better with a good lawyer. Her Husband had a college education and made very good money. She had no education and it was very sad.
house new in wealthy area
Wife settlement I believe it was $5,000.00
The Minor children
Things were tough in the 1960s and 1970s. No one really looked out for the women in those days.
She got her divorce and got a better job, I am so happy she made it. She did good for herself. That was the start of the first Italian divorce. This was a major brake through in this family.
Freedom Was The Car
The Ten Countries With Large Divorce Rates
The United States is number one for divorces. The biggest reason is no time for each other, the divorce rate has increased 5 times from 2013. There seems no time for families. This is very sad for the children.
The United Kingdom is number 2.
Aruba is number 3 for divorce.
South Africa has a large divorce rate because so many couples live apart.
Italy Lack of affection has caused many divorces.
Ukraine has a large number of divorce because the wives are viewed as inferior.
Russia 65.4% divorce rate is up since 2014.
South Korea is the 8th country for divorce.
India is the 9th.
One of my favorite countries is Canada it supposedly has a large divorce rate because of infidelity. This is no surprise for today.
I often wonder if the men in my mothers generation would have treated the women better would we have all these broken marriages now. I know one guy in the family if he didn't like the supper his wife cooked he would throw it on the wall. It was so crazy. The other guy in the family beat his wife because she put onions in the stew. Another guy argued with his wife in front of company till the kids were throwing up sick. What was wrong with these men and the families that allowed it. Yes, I believe in Divorce, it can be a good thing,
Leave it to Beaver Was Not Our Home
How Are Women Treated In 2015?
Do You Think Women Are Treated Better Today?
We might have the largest divorce rate but all turned out for the best. The choices women have today are fantastic. I am so pleased to see this in my own grandchildren. I think if you want a career go for it, If you want to raise kids that's great too. I have cautioned my granddaughter to get a good education, then a job before marrying. If it doesn't work make sure you can support your family. Make sure you don't have to rely on someone else's paycheck.
So far they have taken my advice.I would hope that this generation learns from the past 2 and we have less divorce in this country. We are all equal and want the same things, respect, love, and kindness. I am blessed to have found this with my husband of 20 years.Forbidden action can be used today.
If you love God,and yourself, you will find the right people in your life.
Relives stress Dark and White fine Chocolate.