The End- Vanishing into nothingness
Lying on the bed staring at absolutely nothing, She desparately awaits for the excruciating pain to end, for the ache in her heart to go away & for the damn mind to go on a slow drive & eventually shut down completely. Looking at the pills she had just taken, she wonders if the dosage wasn't enough to swallow her into the blackhole. Hell, she decides to give it another five minutes before she gulps down any more of those 'magical beans' as she likes to call them.
Lying there still waiting, she wonders how had it all come down to this? She could have never imagined wasting away her life this way. It was just so not her! How did she land herself in this situation then? "Love,You fool! Love did this to you" her exasparated mind seemed to be howling at her.
Going back in her mind to a time not so long ago, she saw herself spellbound by an Angel whose mere presence emitted happiness from deep within her soul. Her Angel who had rescued her from darkness and subjected her to light and everything good while nursing and healing her, She remembered the times he had made her laugh, she also remembered the times when he had made her cry yet she could not remember a time when he had made her feel this way..."How did it all change so much?" She did not seem to comprehend.
Memories were all she had of him now...Memories of the past, memories of the things that had changed, memories of all the plans they had made, memories of the secrets they had shared.. So many memories that her mind kept throwing back at her. So many memories she hopelessly wished she could forget.
"Where had she gone wrong? How did she manage to push him so far away?
Was it her fault that things had changed?....." So many questions that were giving her a migrane.
Damn it...the pills too seem to have lost their effect on her soulless body. She opens the drawer & swallows a handfull more, his Angelic face her last thought as she sings herself to sleep, finally vanishing into nothingness.
© 2013 Cracknutcase
Comments
Oh my, this is very deep and seems a bit depressing. Seems that it is a way out for so many people. I hate to hear of it as it only leads to darkness. You have a very good style in writing this type of read.
You better tell this "Angel" of urs 2 b gud 2 u els he'll have me 2 ans to. I wud rathr read bout ur sassy pukingly romantic non sense thn ths sentimental stuff.
(P.s- Stop smiling dumbo I have neva read any of ur writes ;) )
- Author
@Faith Reaper- When I wrote this piece, I was in a place where all felt lost & hope was all but just another word. But luckily God answered my prayers and sent my Angel back to me so that he could rescue me from my own darkness, once again!
What more can I say now? The Sun is shining brighter than usual, the sky is clearer than it has ever been: The birds, the air all seem to be singing and rejoicing around me.. To think that u've lost someone you loved crazily but when it turns out u were mistaken, that feeling is so amazing!
Your prayers may have been among those wishes that may have changed the plans of destiny, So Thank you!
May the Almighty watch over you & protect you forever & always...
Take care :)
Oh, my goodness, this is so powerful as to that deep dark hole one can travel down without the ability to see the hope of another day, without looking up to the light. Lost love is so very painful indeed, but there is always hope for new love. I pray this is a write of fiction and not a true account of what is going on with you at this moment precious heart.
Hugs and love, Faith Reaper
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