Self Deception

Many social interactions are performances. They leave clues they are a false presentation.

Often, we miss the deception. Perhaps because we desire reconnection with someone from our past, or wish to move to a more comforting zone.

It is dishonest to put forward a hand of friendship to an intended victim. However, for those who lie to themselves, reconstructing events and ideas to match their current ‘grid', it is standard.

They can turn the most bland actions or words into threats, challenges, insults. So far beyond logic that if you were to video and replay, it would leave your audience in a state of confusion.

To identify deceivers is more than required.. It prevents wasting time, thwarts emotion, expectation. No matter what, if these people believe you flew to the moon on a broomstick, there is no way to dissuade them.

So don’t waste time.

George has always wanted to see himself as an abandoned and neglected child. Today, he is in his mid forties. Yet, he maintains that image.

No matter what had been said, or done, or is said or done, he keeps rebooting to cling to that fallacy.

His parents, separately, have tried to force daylight into his darkness. And have failed. His father spent a month with him trying to make George see him as he is. Subsequently, his mother spent a month with him doing the same.

Both parents failed.

After George’s marriage ended, after the various dramas played, the father made another effort, but it was rebuffed.

The mother thought she was getting somewhere, having daily online encounters. However, it was another reboot.

George is the kind of person who will never call, email, or make any attempt to reach out.

If sent an ecard for his birthday, (considering he never sent such a card to anyone) he will respond with a long attack on the worthlessness of such a token, how it would have been better if a paper card was purchased and mailed to him.

He is not communicating with people he has ever wished a happy birthday. He is communicating with people who make effort to create a relationship.Yet, he attacks their effort.

George can sit down and go through a long rigmarole which seems to be an 'Epiphany’ . Those he speaks with feel a break through has been made.

It is performance. Soon he reboots.

This kind of behavior is standard for people like George. His failures, his inabilities are blamed on others. Always has, always will. For George, reality ends at his nose.

George is a blatant example of the kind of personality disorder which makes him a 'must avoid’.

Intelligent people have a kind of flexibility of perception. By this I mean, they are willing to accept more than one explanation for an event which permits more than one explanation.

One might believe something then gain other facts. Intelligent people are able to analyze. They may conclude that although holding to postulate A for X period, postulate B is possible.

A person like George can never alter his perception, no matter how false it proves to be. George will always reboot, discarding facts to maintain his fiction.

If George thinks you were absent from your job on Monday, even showing him a video feed which has you at the office on Monday will not convince him. He will prefer to assume you have tampered with the footage.

George will tell different people different stories not ever realizing they can compare and confront. Then he will sprain his tongue trying to coordinate his stories.

Although it would be nice if people like George were rare, they tend to make up a large segment.

The only thing that works with George is silence. Nothing will change his beliefs. He can adjust them to match the current fantasy he holds, but does not release them.

To try to defend yourself, to explain, to believe that the last talkathon was of value is to waste your time.

George will go to his grave believing he was abandoned and neglected, and a Mount Everest of proof that he was not will have no effect on that belief.

So don’t bother.

You will meet people who will give you a bag of 'facts' about themselves. Often you accept them without question. Over time you will realize that something is 'off' about his presentation.

Don't try to force light into the darkness of their minds. Be silent. Let them blabber and then depart.

So many people today can not face reality. Leave them fester in their fantasy.