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The Just Friends Zone

Updated on October 8, 2011
Just friends or more?
Just friends or more? | Source

You want to be more, but are you too nice?

What does a woman mean when she says you are too nice?

Maybe this is a problem that has everything to do with her and nothing to do with you. In her head she is going over her past relationships and she is considering how her and her ex's felt afterwards. She knows that the last relationship hurt her and the guy both, she wants to spare you of that pain because she really does care about you.

This also preserves the relationship that you have now, in her head that is, as she believes that this way the friendship is safe. Although she doesn't realize how much the phrase that she just uttered hurt you, and now there will always be that sore over your heart.

A little advice be persistent and do not check out or talk about other females of possible "interest" to the female that you wanted to be with. Chances are she has the same feelings for you but she is too scared to chance the friendship. Give her time but just remember that once you cross that line there is no way to stay friends afterwards and respect the other persons future partners.


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    • Erin Boggs1 profile image

      Erin Boggs1 6 years ago from Western Maryland

      Sometimes it is but if a person waits too long the other person might get fed up and move on. And knowing that just makes it harder. Baggage and issues contribute to the fear of being hurt which can make us insecure but at the same time what would hurt in the long run...I always have the biggest crushes on the nice guys, but they never look at me...I would have jumped on the chance to be with a nice guy but they like models lol.

      Thanks for the great feedback and added perspective. I hadn't calculated those factors in.

    • Denise Handlon profile image

      Denise Handlon 6 years ago from North Carolina

      Relationships are soooo complex-his junk, her junk, our junk...baggage old and new...issues from childhood. It's hard to figure out sometimes.

    • Erin Boggs1 profile image

      Erin Boggs1 6 years ago from Western Maryland

      I think a lot of guys sometimes here the you are too nice line and they freeze in their tracks but what I would want if I was saying that line to a man would be for him to be persistent, chances are I would have the same feelings for him.

    • manthy profile image

      Mark 6 years ago from Alabama,USA

      Good article to stop stereotypical thinking.

      I love it - voted up and interesting

    • Erin Boggs1 profile image

      Erin Boggs1 6 years ago from Western Maryland

      Thanks IndiePharm, I have to agree with you. I think it is foolish to fight that feeling. Unfortunately people will continue to do it for generations.

    • IndiePharm profile image

      IndiePharm 6 years ago from Niš, Serbia

      I think that both men and women know when someone is connected with them on higher level, so the next approach could be relationship. "You're too nice" is sometimes an excuse, and the worst one would be "Your such a nice guy/girl", and then you'd ask yourself: "If I'm such a nice guy/girl, why are you not interested in me? Don't you all want to be in a relationship with nice person?" Interesting hub, keep on writing. ;)