Love Can Make You Giggly, Flirty, and Dangerously, on the Edge of Criminal. But There Is Love Insurance for You.
Alluring? Shocking? Magnetic? Sexy? Domestic? Maternal? Sisterly? Kindly? Adoring?
"Love Is A Many Confusing, Overwhelming, Crazy-Making, oh yeah SPLENDORED Thing"
Love is assumed to be the Messenger of Happiness. But in fact, this is overly hopeful and too wishful.
Why do we conclude that happiness should be a direct result of happiness? Well, of course it should be a result! Love is work. Love is "transformational". Love is trying. Love asks for change. Love demands adjustments. Love is emotional. Love provides Happiness as a By Product.
Love is Work, Especially When The Word is Budget
Your wife wants you to dress differently. Your husband asks for an adjustment in the budget. Your happiness will be a byproduct if you convince yourself to dress differently without making you unhappy, and your wife more happy. The budget makes both people unhappy, until they meet in the middle and both are mildly happy. That sounds true doesn't. Ask people -- "Is mildly happy OK?
Love is Transformational.
You didn't think you were going to have to learn to allow people to interrupt you as much as you do. This does not make you happy, as much as it calms troubled waters. You are forced to exercise until it hurts. You like the weight you have lost. You learned to be happy about this. Another thing, as life goes on and the shapes we get change, love doesn't go away. Be happy slow changes in lots of way allow love to also change.
Love is Trying.
Each person in the marriage has come to a recognition that each member has about three characteristics that are probably never going to change. However, each has decided that they can live with this possibility. This recognition makes each other happy that they are going to be tolerated, but not really happy that they will have to tolerate. You will hear husbands talk about their wives -- gently and with care --- "Yeah that's the way Carol is." The same goes for wives. We learn as the years go by that love will try us.
Love Asks For Change.
A husband moves his wife three times in ten years because of his work. Because of her love, she tolerates this, but almost goes crazy with unhappiness because she does not like where she has had to move. However, she is very happy that she has been able to disguise her grief. This makes her happy. And correspondingly, jobs and career choices have ways of forcing change on us that originally we would never have made. A wife becomes a lawyer or Nurse and that automatically forces kids lives and neighborhoods and even --- moves to other states. It can be done and love makes allowances all the time.
Love Demands Adjustments
The wife gets pregnant and wants to keep her child in the first year of marriage. Hubby knows this is a gigantic adjustment for his hunting, bowling, partying and golfing. He is going to have to become a father much sooner than he thought. This does not make him happy, but in the end, he becomes happy with his role. The wife hates gaining weight and wants to lose 40 pounds before she gets pregnant. This takes years. This makes her happy and the husband miserable. Eventually she gets pregnant. Both put off happiness. Both eventually got happy, but at different times.
Love is Emotional
Happiness is a varying human condition that depends upon health, disposition, emotional stability and family upbringing and DNA and cultural influences. Then put a second person in there, and the mix is constant, the contrast continual, the throw of the dice in temperament and life's events always varying. Happiness is sought with a craving that can be consuming. Love as a continuing challenge manifests spurts of happiness, then some moderate contentment, then with the flow of a small stream, love blesses us with its own happiness. Don't expect to be "delerious". But expect to make adjustments that POSITIVELY work on your emotions.
The By Product of Happiness.
When the conditions of love are calm and fulfilling, happiness is a natural by product. However, when the cauldron of love is demanding change and patience and will and determination, then the feeling of happiness may have to wait. However, that is not the end of the story. The anticipation of happiness is another joyous feature of love. Because you know you can "work things out one way or the other", the looking forward to happiness becomes and enthralling and inebriating feature of life. That is why it is a by product. Happiness results because of Love's Workings.
Happiness Beguiles Us While Love Works its Way with Us.
Like a mist breathed in after a summer's rain, the benefits of happiness beguile us while the way of Love has its way with us. The warning. The very large "Rock in the Road" is the Cessation of Talk. Don't ever Cease Talking!
If one stops, or both stop it's still a warning. Carefully approach each other. You can't demand, you must use diplomacy. Talk to any couple about this topic, if they invite it.
Feline or Canine In Human Guise
"I only Seem to be Undone,"
She Llt up her Feline Smile,
"Because This Is The Way that Kittens
Pretend to be "Out of Control",
And Allow Your Canine Self "Silly Guy" --
To Think Its Your "Pause"
That Makes You My Master.
© 2012 Christofer French