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Love is Fun, But It Will Also Make you Work.

Updated on March 11, 2013

Heart and Mind SERIES

Love is assumed to be the Messenger of Happiness. But in fact, this is overly hopeful and too wishful.

Why do we conclude that happiness should be a direct result of happiness? Well, of course it should be a result! Love is work. Love is transformational. Love is trying. Love asks for change. Love demands adjustments. Love is emotional. Love provides Happiness as a By Product.

Love is Work.

Your wife wants you to dress differently. Your husband asks for an adjustment in the budget. Your happiness will be a byproduct if you convince yourself to dress differently without making you unhappy, and your wife more happy. The budget makes both people unhappy, until they meet in the middle and both are mildly happy.

Love is Transformational. You didn't think you were going to have to learn to allow people to interrupt you as much as you do. This does not make you happy, as much as it calms troubled waters. You are forced to exercise until it hurts. You like the weight you have lost. You learned to be happy about this.

Love is Trying.

Each person in the marriage has come to a recognition that each member has about three characteristics that are probably never going to change. However, each has decided that they can live with this possibility. This recognition makes each other happy that they are going to be tolerated, but not really happy that they will have to tolerate.

Love Asks For Change.

A husband moves his wife three times in ten years because of his work. Because of her love, she tolerates this, but almost goes crazy with unhappiness because she does not like where she has had to move. However, she is very happy that she has been able to disguise her grief. This makes her happy.

Love Demands Adjustments

The wife gets pregnant and wants to keep her child in the first year of marriage. Hubby knows this is a gigantic adjustment for his hunting, bowling, partying and golfing. He is going to have to become a father much sooner than he thought. This does not make him happy, but in the end, he becomes happy with his role. The wife hates gaining weight and wants to lose 40 pounds before she gets pregnant. This takes years. This makes her happy and the husband miserable. Eventually she gets pregnant. Both put off happiness. Both eventually got happy, but at different times.

Love is Emotional

Happiness is a varying human condition that depends upon health, disposition, emotional stability and family upbringing and DNA and cultural influences. Then put a second person in there, and the mix is constant, the contrast continual, the throw of the dice in temperament and life's events always varying. Happiness is sought with a craving that can be consuming. Love as a continuing challenge manifests spurts of happiness, then some moderate contentment, then with the flow of a small stream, love blesses us with its own happiness,

The By Product of Happiness.

When the conditions of love are calm and fulfilling, happiness is a natural by product. However, when the cauldron of love is demanding change and patience and will and determination, then the feeling of happiness may have to wait. However, that is not the end of the story. The anticipation of happiness is another joyous feature of love. Because you know you can "work things out one way or the other", the looking forward to happiness becomes and enthralling and inebriating feature of life. That is why it is a by product. Happiness results because of Love's Workings.

Happiness Beguiles Us While Love Works its Way with Us.

Like a mist breathed in after a summer's rain, the benefits of happiness beguile us while the way of Love has its way with us.


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