The Language of Women: How To Translate It

We women are complicated and complex creatures. We have habits that we often don't understand ourselves, and sometimes the best way to overcome them, is to help our mates understand what's going on with us.

So in an attempt to help the women and men of the world, I would like to offer you a translation of some of the most confusing lingo you will hear from women.

How was your day? - Please ask me how my day was!

I'm sorry you feel that way... - I'm getting really tired of hearing you complain about your problems.

I'm fine - I'm angry with you and I want you to suffer until you figure out what you did wrong.

What can I do to make things better? - Can't you just shut up and be happy?

I think we need to take a break - You're not satisfying me in bed and I'm not sure if your other qualities are worth my time.

What do you want for dinner? - Please say you'll take care of dinner tonight!

Let's try something new - Our relationship is getting stagnant and I'm getting bored.

I have a headache - You're bothering me, now go away.

I love what you're wearing - Do you like what I'm wearing?

I don't want to talk about it - I really want to scream at you right now but I know that won't help, so back the heck off!

I love you - Do you love me? Really?

I'm leaving you/I want to break up - Do you love me enough that you would fight to keep me if I try to leave you?

Do you think she's pretty? - Are you still attracted to me?

Are you happy? - I'm feeling insecure right now and I just need you to show me some instant love to reassure me that you still want to be with me.

Do you like my hair? - I just paid $$ to get this done because I don't feel your attracted to me anymore, so please say you think my hair is ultra sexy, even if it's awful!

Do these pants make my butt look big? - I'm only asking you this question because you didn't tell me I looked great in the pants in the first place.

Why didn't you answer your phone? - Who were you hanging out with that you didn't want me to know about?

You need to get a job - I don't care how much money you make, so long as it gets you out of my hair for a few hours at least.

What do you want for your birthday? - Why don't you ever ask me what I want for my birthday?

I really don't like your friend (insert name here) - I think they are trouble and will get in the way of our relationship.

I want a commitment - I don't think you're serious enough with our relationship and I want you to prove to me that you're that dedicated to us.

Size doesn't matter - Your penis is small, but your other qualities make up for what you lack down there....

We need to talk - I'm just checking to see how you react to this. If you don't want to talk, then somethings wrong. You should always be happy to talk.

Nothings wrong, really - You're such a jerk.

Silence - I really want you to work hard to make me feel better, regardless of how you feel about it.

It would be difficult to cover every phrase, word or statement and it's translation, in one hub. Though these should help give you a better idea of what she really means. Or at least it will give you a good laugh.