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The Mirror Relationship, Love is a reflection: mirror principle in psychology

Updated on January 28, 2013

Mirror theory in the psychology of relationships

According to the laws of love, you have no right to turn the mirror to another person. Each person should use the mirror as he or she wants and when he or she wants, but only for him or her and never for others.

We are imperfect through our human nature itself. If we were perfect, we would always be self-sufficient and wouldn't need each other. We wouldn't love each other or hate each other or need to interact, to connect in relationships. It would be boring. And sad. And grey. We exist in polarity, in diversity, with our bads and goods, differences, contradictions in relationships, and that's why is human nature so special and interesting. We are imperfect. And different. Which is a good thing, great. Living. And colorful.

Love is a reflection

During our life we find people we love and people we hate, we generate likes and dislikes from others. Sometimes we don't mean to be hated or loved by certain people, but it happens. All around us there are people we find either fun, or boring, nice or annoying, people that make us want to hit them and people that make us want to hugh them. We hate, we love, we reject, we attract. Why? It is because some behaviour features or physical characteristics make us act in certain ways.

On the other hand, there are often some people for whom we feel ever since we meet them, an attraction and a sympathetic court. Even if they make mistakes or we get hurt by them we still feel sympathy for these people, and the feeling will persist in time.

No matter how absurd or unrealistic it may seem, how repugnant to true, in certain people we find our own personality traits, that at the subconscious level, we try to suppress or ignore. We reject these aspects of our personalities that we may not realize or do not want to acknowledge, when we discover them in others. Often we develop a negative attitude towards a person because that person reflects a certain aspect we reject in ourselves. We judge others based on what we are, what we think, how much we like it or not, the expectations we have of ourselves. We choose our life partner and looking for love according to this criteria. Because our choices are subjective ...

We are really a mirror that reflects others, say psychologists. Others are a mirror in which we reflect on our turn. We establish relationships with others by mirroring what we need. When we look at others we look in a mirror. This mirror shows us the reality of our own needs and requirements. Sometimes what we see in the mirror is contrary to what we want. Many times, we like what we see. Accept the reflection in the mirror. Sometimes we reject. Without seeing the reflection too objective . In fact, we are all someone's mirror. Attract and reject people. And mirrors showing us the imperfection of our relationships.

Love in the Mirror Relationships

We need courage and self-love to accept the existing mirrors within our love relationships. We need courage to accept our unacceptable parts (pardon the paradox), not design them in others. "Those with whom we interact or persons who are partners in our life are always mirrors that reflect our beliefs, desires, thoughts, needs. Simultaneously, we are also mirrors reflecting their beliefs and concepts. If we look honestly at our relationships, we can see they are all based on our inner depths, we always seek ourselves in others.

People who we love or admire have certain traits of personality that evoke these feelings in us. They exist in ourselves. Can not develop into a big percentage, but they are there.Unconsciously we are attracted to these people, considering that, in a way we could get those traits that we admire in them. 
If you are generally characterized as having a strong personality and are attracted by the sensitive and vulnerable partner, that partner will reflect the need for recognition and acceptance of their vulnerabilities. If instead we are sensitive and we are in a relationship with a powerful person it is likely to feel victimized, controled, overwhelmed by them before we can in our turn acknowledge and accept our own strength. 

With its negative and positive parts the world we are experiencing is a projection of our consciousness. And how can help this mirror theory ? Facebook can help you accept yourself as you are and accept others as they are. Even if you disagree with what makes a person can not grow to hate because of his behavior, but his personality. The correct action would be to hate a person, not the person who initiated that action. Accceptance of those around you can bring more peace and reconciliation. You can bring self-acceptance in all its diversity, beauty and contradictions exist in you.


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    • profile image


      9 years ago

      yes i do agree w/ dat too! =)

    • profile image

      desert mood 

      9 years ago

      Christine is correct. Try this exercise for fun and

      prove it to yourself. Think of anyone you want to who

      is emotional about some characteristic of someone else.

      Now, can you see that they have that same character-

      istic in themselves? Also, can you see that they don't

      see it in themselves? This is why Socrates said to

      Know Thyself, because we don't really! If you doubt

      it, try it on yourself. You will feel there must be

      some mistake because you won't find that character-

      istic that emotionalizes you in others. It's nature's

      way of protecting us until we are ready to use this

      tool to discover those weaknesses within us we want

      to improve.

    • Christine P Ann profile image

      Christine P Ann 

      9 years ago from Australia

      Very true. When I first read this I rejected the idea but to be honest it is very true, what we hate the most about someone is often a characteristic we need to work on within ourselves. good hub :)


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