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The Most Common Relationship Problems

Updated on January 31, 2013

Ask any couple who has made it past the mark of a quarter or more and they will both say relationships are work. Committed relationships and especially marriage is the job one takes without financial compensation. Perhaps that's why it's so hard for many people to get over the feelings a troubled relationship brings. Although the real question is "Can you and your mate make it through any problem?" The question sometimes remains, "Are we the only one's going through this?" Married or unmarried, there will always be certain issues common to almost if not all couples at one point or another during their relationship.

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Sex

It is said, people want more of two things, sex and money, but are afraid to talk about both of them. In a relationship, especially a marriage, sex plays a large part in how smoothly the relationship runs. In the movie "My Year Without Sex", a woman is medically bound to a sexless marriage. Without sex, she and her husband have a whole year to discover how loving, real and strong their relationship is.

Unfortunately, for many couples, an unsatisfactory sexual relationship has nothing to do with medical need. Some of the most common reasons for problems with sex in a relationship include: childbirth or young children in the house, differing or hectic work schedules, decaying attraction, physical issues or an unsatisfying partner. Whatever the cause of sexual problems in a relationship, those typically lead to another common relationship problem.

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Infidelity

Problems are the cause, infidelity is often the effect. But what most people don't realize before it's too late is infidelity is a problem all on it's own. Marriage expert Mort Fertel explains in one of his free marriage help emails that a 1998 University of Chicago study surveyed 25% of married men and 17% of married women admitted to infidelity (keyword: admitted). Since the 90's, those numbers are sure to have increased, and don't even include the number of unmarried but committed couples.

The reasons people cheat are many, from sexual dissatisfaction to plain and simple unhappiness. Whatever the reason one cheats, the discovery of a cheating spouse starts a fury among men unlike no other. Aside from the feelings of disrespect, lack of trust develops between a couple, making the contemptible act hard to bounce back from but not impossible if one so chooses.

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Money

A great mentor once told me, "Money isn't everything, but it's right up there with oxygen. If you don't have enough of it, you have trouble breathing." It's also the second, or possibly the first thing most people want more of, but are afraid to talk about. Let's face it, some of us have known people with abundant amounts of money who have money issues, and people struggling to make money who have money issues. The fact is, where there's a misunderstanding about or a lack of money, there's an issue and the air among all parties involved feels scarce.

Surprisingly, Kim Kiyosaki, author, investor, and wife of famed author and investor, Robert Kiyosaki speaks about the early days of their marriage in her book, "Rich Woman". To the readers surprise, the Kiyosaki's experienced major arguments over cash issues during the years of their marriage before finances began to increase and the success we know them to have today began taking place. But here are the reasons their relationship didn't end over money disguised as other problems; despite the lack of finances, they shared the same views and goals about money and success, how they desired to attain money, and what money and success meant for their lives.


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Communication

Ah, communication. Through Blackberry, Motorola, HTC, email, Facebook, Twitter...etc. Pick your poison, but who you're talking to and how you're talking has a major effect on your relationship. Communication is a major issue among relationships. A person in public relations would have an immense problem if they consistently exhibited bad communication. How could a person like that realistically expect to keep a job? The same goes for most failing relationships. In fact, I'm inclined to believe the reason most couples site irreconcilable differences as the reason for divorce, they have little to no communication and obviously zero effective communication.

Word to the wise, yelling, arguing, and using mean words is not real communication and only has its effects on egos and hearts. That kind of behavior comes from a need to be right, act on feelings and be heard without listening. Those things do not define effective communication at all. There's a phrase that goes, "We have two ears and one mouth because we're supposed to listen twice as much as we talk." I guarantee if you have a communication problem in your relationship, try listening a little more and talking a little less. You'll find: 1. you've missed out on much of what your partner has been trying to tell you. 2. you can use that to gain more respect from your partner, causing him to listen more when it's your turn to speak.

Thanks for reading. Like what you've read? Leave a comment below or click share.

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    • thecoffeewrite profile image
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      Keneesha M Hodge 5 years ago from Chicago, Illinois

      Thanks for reading , commenting and sharing Alecia. It's easy to talk about such things when you've experienced them and seen them exhibited in too many relationships around you. I just hope this post can help other people realize some mistakes they may be making in good and salvageable relationships.

    • Alecia Murphy profile image

      Alecia Murphy 5 years ago from Wilmington, North Carolina

      Good points! I like how you use cause and effect. Voted up and shared!

    • thecoffeewrite profile image
      Author

      Keneesha M Hodge 5 years ago from Chicago, Illinois

      Thanks Janshares. I'm quite surprised and overwhelmed at the response to this hub. It's nice to know other people feel the same way I do about relationships. I look forward to reading your hubs. Thanks for reading and commenting.

    • janshares profile image

      Janis Leslie Evans 5 years ago from Washington, DC

      This is a great hub! Very concise explanations for the most common problems. I address them as well in my latest hub. Voted up!

    • profile image

      Mohammad.Wasim 6 years ago

      The root cause of relation problem is excessive consumption of alcohol.

      Extramarital affairs is also the key cause of problem.

      Shortage of finance plays a great role.

      Lack of mutual interest also create problem in relationship.

    • thecoffeewrite profile image
      Author

      Keneesha M Hodge 6 years ago from Chicago, Illinois

      Thanks Indigo7. You're so right. Outside perspective has so much better vision than being on the inside and overlooking everything. People always tend to have such a desire to be heard, listening becomes tossed to the side and then its like no one has ears, just big mouths trying to prove a point. And the sad part is, I don't know a relationship including my own that hasn't had one or all of these same issues. Some have made it, some haven't.

    • Indigo7 profile image

      Indigo7 6 years ago from Johannesburg

      There is a lot of truth in this article, some of the things that people seem to miss, something we all seem to miss because we refuse to see things from an "outsiders perspective" Stunning article i must say!!

    • thecoffeewrite profile image
      Author

      Keneesha M Hodge 6 years ago from Chicago, Illinois

      Thanks Highlighter. I appreciate you taking the time to read, give a positive comment and hopefully share :).

    • profile image

      Highlighter 6 years ago

      Nice!!!!

    • thecoffeewrite profile image
      Author

      Keneesha M Hodge 6 years ago from Chicago, Illinois

      Thanks Biancaalice. I tried to think of the problems we all have heard someone complain about or experienced at one time or another. The worst thing would be to experience them all at once though.

    • biancaalice profile image

      biancaalice 6 years ago from Southern California

      Excellent hub!

      Voted up & Shared!

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