The Most Common Relationship Problems
Ask any couple who has made it past the mark of a quarter or more and they will both say relationships are work. Committed relationships and especially marriage is the job one takes without financial compensation. Perhaps that's why it's so hard for many people to get over the feelings a troubled relationship brings. Although the real question is "Can you and your mate make it through any problem?" The question sometimes remains, "Are we the only one's going through this?" Married or unmarried, there will always be certain issues common to almost if not all couples at one point or another during their relationship.
Sex
It is said, people want more of two things, sex and money, but are afraid to talk about both of them. In a relationship, especially a marriage, sex plays a large part in how smoothly the relationship runs. In the movie "My Year Without Sex", a woman is medically bound to a sexless marriage. Without sex, she and her husband have a whole year to discover how loving, real and strong their relationship is.
Unfortunately, for many couples, an unsatisfactory sexual relationship has nothing to do with medical need. Some of the most common reasons for problems with sex in a relationship include: childbirth or young children in the house, differing or hectic work schedules, decaying attraction, physical issues or an unsatisfying partner. Whatever the cause of sexual problems in a relationship, those typically lead to another common relationship problem.
Infidelity
Problems are the cause, infidelity is often the effect. But what most people don't realize before it's too late is infidelity is a problem all on it's own. Marriage expert Mort Fertel explains in one of his free marriage help emails that a 1998 University of Chicago study surveyed 25% of married men and 17% of married women admitted to infidelity (keyword: admitted). Since the 90's, those numbers are sure to have increased, and don't even include the number of unmarried but committed couples.
The reasons people cheat are many, from sexual dissatisfaction to plain and simple unhappiness. Whatever the reason one cheats, the discovery of a cheating spouse starts a fury among men unlike no other. Aside from the feelings of disrespect, lack of trust develops between a couple, making the contemptible act hard to bounce back from but not impossible if one so chooses.
Money
A great mentor once told me, "Money isn't everything, but it's right up there with oxygen. If you don't have enough of it, you have trouble breathing." It's also the second, or possibly the first thing most people want more of, but are afraid to talk about. Let's face it, some of us have known people with abundant amounts of money who have money issues, and people struggling to make money who have money issues. The fact is, where there's a misunderstanding about or a lack of money, there's an issue and the air among all parties involved feels scarce.
Surprisingly, Kim Kiyosaki, author, investor, and wife of famed author and investor, Robert Kiyosaki speaks about the early days of their marriage in her book, "Rich Woman". To the readers surprise, the Kiyosaki's experienced major arguments over cash issues during the years of their marriage before finances began to increase and the success we know them to have today began taking place. But here are the reasons their relationship didn't end over money disguised as other problems; despite the lack of finances, they shared the same views and goals about money and success, how they desired to attain money, and what money and success meant for their lives.
Communication
Ah, communication. Through Blackberry, Motorola, HTC, email, Facebook, Twitter...etc. Pick your poison, but who you're talking to and how you're talking has a major effect on your relationship. Communication is a major issue among relationships. A person in public relations would have an immense problem if they consistently exhibited bad communication. How could a person like that realistically expect to keep a job? The same goes for most failing relationships. In fact, I'm inclined to believe the reason most couples site irreconcilable differences as the reason for divorce, they have little to no communication and obviously zero effective communication.
Word to the wise, yelling, arguing, and using mean words is not real communication and only has its effects on egos and hearts. That kind of behavior comes from a need to be right, act on feelings and be heard without listening. Those things do not define effective communication at all. There's a phrase that goes, "We have two ears and one mouth because we're supposed to listen twice as much as we talk." I guarantee if you have a communication problem in your relationship, try listening a little more and talking a little less. You'll find: 1. you've missed out on much of what your partner has been trying to tell you. 2. you can use that to gain more respect from your partner, causing him to listen more when it's your turn to speak.
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- Marriage Counseling; Free Marriage Help from Marriage Fitness with Mort Fertel
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Robert Kiyosaki, of Rich Dad Poor Dad, offers financial education content to help you learn about cash flow, real estate, investing, how to start a business, and more. - What Is Effective Communication? | LIVESTRONG.COM
What Is Effective Communication?. Communication is the process of sharing information, thoughts and feelings between people through speaking, writing or body language. Effective communication extends the concept to require that transmitted content is