ArtsAutosBooksBusinessEducationEntertainmentFamilyFashionFoodGamesGenderHealthHolidaysHomeHubPagesPersonal FinancePetsPoliticsReligionSportsTechnologyTravel

The Mystery of Friendship

Updated on September 18, 2012

Please Help to Solve a Mystery

Over the last couple of days a thought - a question really - has ruled what I am pleased to call my mind. Why do you lot put up with me? I have a strange sense of humor, I make odd comments on your stories, I regularly and annoyingly ask you to visit sites which are complementary to me and a number of other peculiarities which at the moment escape me. So why do you put up with me? I asked my friend Nellieanna for her opinion on the subject and she gave it to me, but I kept wondering if there is something else. There must be some mysterious process that goes on that creates friendships without our realizing it or even encouraging it. The mystery of friendship.

My father was a rather conservative businessman with a wide circle of other businessmen friends, but when I buried him I was astonished at the hundreds of people who came to his interment. Men in business suits who had left their desks to attend the funeral, but also tradesmen in overalls who left some plumbing job half done in order to be there. A lot of the suits and a lot of the overalls were openly crying.

There was one man there in particular whom my father laughingly described to me once as follows:

“He is a liar, a thief, a drunkard, a gambler and a jailbird. A beautiful man I tell you!”

And there was this very same man crying inconsolably into his huge handkerchief for his dead friend. I thought that this is the mystery of friendship.

You lot may have already ascertained that of all the De Greek virtues, which are obviously numerous, the most endearing one to all thinking men is our modesty. We are distinguished by rosy cheeks which blush easily and all my contemporaries will vouch that in living memory there has never been a period blackened by an immodest De Greek. But besides my modesty, why do you lot put up with me, if it is not out of a vague sense of friendship?

But what is friendship? How can a conservative businessman like my father be friends with “a liar, a thief, a drunkard, a gambler and a jailbird” to the extend of having dinner with him once a week without the need to keep a firm hold of his wallet?

Thinking out aloud, without being sure of the accuracy of my thoughts, is it possible that friendship is a form of platonic love? Just as two people can fall in love instinctively - and often without any logic - can two persons recognize in each other characteristics which are similar to their own and by recognizing these, be attracted to those characteristics and the attraction then creates a likeness, a bond, the bond of friendship for the person having those characteristics? Do we in reality like someone because that someone is spiritually similar to us?

Could it be that the written word is a lie detector? One can try to pretend to be something one is not, but in the end one’s own written words will betray one. We read each other’s stories and those stories reflect the true character of the writer. So I end up with an immense liking of Feline Prophet, even though I have never met her and I have never actually spoken to her. Am I flattering myself to say that I like her because I see a part of myself in her writing?

The answer is “I don’t know”. What do YOU think?

Just consider the following: I have a story on HubPages which has had 7848 visits, but only 112 comments. Another story has had 6418 visits, but only 101 comments, and on another, just 392 visitors and 63 comments . Generally the comments are between sixty to one hundred , irrespective of the number of visitors. Could the implication be that the number of people who have felt a connection with me through my stories is more or less the same? In other words, the implication is that thousands of people have read my stories but felt no connection to me whatsoever, because I was projecting characteristics which were distasteful to them, so they just moved on without leaving a comment?

This theory tends to be supported by the following example: A woman left a very aggressive comment on one of my stories, in a supposedly joking manner, but the aggression was there for all to see. Later on, on a completely different and unrelated story she again became aggressive and she later went on to attack me in an article she wrote. Obviously this person felt no affinity to me at all. By the same token, I am happy to say that I felt no affinity to her at all, as she represents traits which I find unattractive.

So do we see ourselves in the characteristics of others? I would very much appreciate it if you would take the time to discuss this either here or perhaps in a separate article somewhere.

Dimitris Mita

De Greek


This website uses cookies

As a user in the EEA, your approval is needed on a few things. To provide a better website experience, uses cookies (and other similar technologies) and may collect, process, and share personal data. Please choose which areas of our service you consent to our doing so.

For more information on managing or withdrawing consents and how we handle data, visit our Privacy Policy at:

Show Details
HubPages Device IDThis is used to identify particular browsers or devices when the access the service, and is used for security reasons.
LoginThis is necessary to sign in to the HubPages Service.
Google RecaptchaThis is used to prevent bots and spam. (Privacy Policy)
AkismetThis is used to detect comment spam. (Privacy Policy)
HubPages Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide data on traffic to our website, all personally identifyable data is anonymized. (Privacy Policy)
HubPages Traffic PixelThis is used to collect data on traffic to articles and other pages on our site. Unless you are signed in to a HubPages account, all personally identifiable information is anonymized.
Amazon Web ServicesThis is a cloud services platform that we used to host our service. (Privacy Policy)
CloudflareThis is a cloud CDN service that we use to efficiently deliver files required for our service to operate such as javascript, cascading style sheets, images, and videos. (Privacy Policy)
Google Hosted LibrariesJavascript software libraries such as jQuery are loaded at endpoints on the or domains, for performance and efficiency reasons. (Privacy Policy)
Google Custom SearchThis is feature allows you to search the site. (Privacy Policy)
Google MapsSome articles have Google Maps embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
Google ChartsThis is used to display charts and graphs on articles and the author center. (Privacy Policy)
Google AdSense Host APIThis service allows you to sign up for or associate a Google AdSense account with HubPages, so that you can earn money from ads on your articles. No data is shared unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
Google YouTubeSome articles have YouTube videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
VimeoSome articles have Vimeo videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
PaypalThis is used for a registered author who enrolls in the HubPages Earnings program and requests to be paid via PayPal. No data is shared with Paypal unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
Facebook LoginYou can use this to streamline signing up for, or signing in to your Hubpages account. No data is shared with Facebook unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
MavenThis supports the Maven widget and search functionality. (Privacy Policy)
Google AdSenseThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Google DoubleClickGoogle provides ad serving technology and runs an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Index ExchangeThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
SovrnThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Facebook AdsThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Amazon Unified Ad MarketplaceThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
AppNexusThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
OpenxThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Rubicon ProjectThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
TripleLiftThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Say MediaWe partner with Say Media to deliver ad campaigns on our sites. (Privacy Policy)
Remarketing PixelsWe may use remarketing pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to advertise the HubPages Service to people that have visited our sites.
Conversion Tracking PixelsWe may use conversion tracking pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to identify when an advertisement has successfully resulted in the desired action, such as signing up for the HubPages Service or publishing an article on the HubPages Service.
Author Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide traffic data and reports to the authors of articles on the HubPages Service. (Privacy Policy)
ComscoreComScore is a media measurement and analytics company providing marketing data and analytics to enterprises, media and advertising agencies, and publishers. Non-consent will result in ComScore only processing obfuscated personal data. (Privacy Policy)
Amazon Tracking PixelSome articles display amazon products as part of the Amazon Affiliate program, this pixel provides traffic statistics for those products (Privacy Policy)
ClickscoThis is a data management platform studying reader behavior (Privacy Policy)