The Myth Women Are The Only Victims Of Domestic Violence

In my local paper, the Herald Sun, I was invited along with the rest of the Australian male population to take a stand against domestic violence against women (see Herald Sun article here). Ok, I’ll take a stand. I pledge that I will recognise that domestic violence is a social problem affecting both genders and not just women. I pledge that I will not support the myth and lies that women are always victims and men are always perpetrators. I pledge that I will not ignore the abundance of male victims and children that are abused by women. I pledge that I will not offer support to programs or initiatives that polarise social problems like domestic violence on the basis of gender and ignore male victims and children of female abusers.

It is indeed time the public takes a stand against domestic violence, by recognising that violence against anyone is unacceptable, not just when it is against women.

Don’t get me wrong, I find any form of violence against women abhorrent and unacceptable, except in the act of self-defence. This is not because they are women though, it is because they are human beings. I also find violence against men abhorrent and unacceptable. Why? Because men are human beings too! I find any form of violence whether it be physical or psychological (which often leaves scars long after the abuse, such as post traumatic stress), to be unacceptable against anyone. Unlike white knights and feminist bigots, I don’t elevate women above men and suddenly decree that only women are exempt from violence. Likewise, I don’t think you can save a burning building by only putting out the fire on one side of it.

To understand that, one must understand the influence of feminism on media and government and their ideological dogma. Feminism frames domestic violence using the Duluth model. Under this model, men are perpetual perpetrators and women are perpetual victims. They argue that this is a consequence of the patriarchy and the power disparity they perceive exists between men and women. The half-truth of patriarchy theory is something I have thoroughly criticised in my article on it, which can be reached here.

Underlying the Duluth model and patriarchy theory, is something much more fundamental, victim mentality. As I mentioned in my article on the social pathology of male disposability, the key manipulative tool of feminism, is to play on our instinctual predisposition to view women as the more vulnerable gender and preferentially respond to female distress. Female victim mentality saturates virtually all of feminist theory and their initiatives. This arouses our natural instinct to protect women and allows feminism to manipulate public perception and action toward gender issues.

Feminists have developed a victim narrative for women and a threat narrative for men and used this framework to acquire power and influence over media and government. It has allowed them to frame sexism as a women-only problem and to tread on men's rights without a hint of protest from the public (well mostly). Women are deserving of our sympathy and men of our wrath. At a certain critical point, arguably in the early to mid-80s, feminism had gained an extraordinary amount of control over the media and government. Barbara Kay has called it a bloodless revolution (see adjacent video above). Why not? Who would see a takeover of our society from people portraying themselves as oppressed victims. Especially a group of people we have evolved an instinctual predisposition to protect and regard as vulnerable and powerless. Through their influence over government and media, feminism has very effectively been able to socially engineer the public perception on domestic violence and gender issues in general. They control the flow of information, education, the passage of legislation, public policy, politics and the public discussion on gender issues. With this control, they have effectively molded the cognitive map of society and associated cultural norms, to recognise women as natural victims with a victim narrative and men as a natural villains with a threat narrative. This underpins all of feminist dogma, especially regarding domestic violence.

There is a now an ocean of social science research on domestic violence that completely debunks the Duluth model. The criticism is generally based on two aspects of the model. Firstly that the cause of domestic violence can be related back to "the patriarchy" and not to substance abuse, abuse during childhood, former partner abuse, poverty, under/unemployment, poor socio-economic circumstances, mental illness or witnessing domestic violence between parents as a child etc. This seems obvious, but I will say it anyway, people (male or female) don’t physically abuse other people if they are mentally well adjusted, had a good upbringing, have no history of past abuse with former partners or during childhood, are not suffering from an addiction and are not struggling financially. The second major area of criticism, is directed at the contention that domestic violence overwhelmingly involves a female victim and male perpetrator and thus is directional by sex.

I have provided five videos, two above (a must watch overview of domestic violence statistics and research by Prof. Dutton at the start of this article and another overview directly above) and three adjacent (these are longer presentations), that go through just some of the mountain of studies and research overturning the Duluth model and the feminist paradigm on domestic violence. To summarise from those videos and the associated body of academic research, I will provide five major indisputable facts:

1. Men are not an extreme minority of victims, but a substantial number of victims.
2. Women are not an extreme minority of perpetrators, but a substantial number of perpetrators.
3. A substantial amount of domestic violence is reciprocal, or in other words involves both partners abusing each other.
4. The belief that physically weaker women cannot do serious physical harm to men, excludes the fact that women often use weapons to physically injure men and can still possess enough physical strength to cause serious damage (especially because men are naturally hesitant to physically defend themselves against women).
5. The current treatment of domestic violence by feminism and organisations such as White Ribbon is at odds with these facts.

Despite the fact that men make up a substantial number of domestic violence victims, there are virtually no men’s shelters to speak of and in many cases there is absolutely none. Our legislation (like VAWA in the US), politicians (for the most part), public support programs and media campaigns (like the “To Violence Against Women” ads in Australia), ignore the existence of male victims of domestic violence. In fact in general, there is little or no support for male domestic violence victims at all. This is a disgrace.

We can debate whether or not men cause 10% more domestic violence than women, or women commit 10% more domestic violence than men. In fact many studies actually show women commit or initiate more domestic violence than men. Nonetheless, such debate over which gender is the greater perpetrator is trivial nonsense and the parties involved know it. However I will say one thing, many men who are abused by their female partner or spouse do not report it and believe they will be laughed at, ignored and not taken seriously if they do. The sad thing is they are actually right. No one cares about battered men, aside from a tiny minority of courageous people and thank you by the way! This leaves male victims feeling ashamed ("invincible" men are not "supposed" to be beaten by "harmless" women), afraid and above all alone. If anything, we are likely to be underestimating domestic violence against men, rather than overestimating it.

The basic fact is that domestic violence is not a gender specific problem and the message that the only victims are women is a lie.

Why does the public not know about the social science research on domestic violence provided above? That is the burning question. The answer is that the influence of feminism on our governments and mainstream media deliberately suppresses the communication of this information to the public. The deception surrounding domestic violence, goes all the way to the top of our Western governments and media and the incestuous relationship they have with the domestic violence industry and feminist movement. We have senior public officials and government departments suppressing information on domestic violence or distorting it and a media intent on spreading feminist propaganda.

Don’t believe me? Watch the three adjacent videos. The first video is a presentation by family justice advocate Vernon Beck, on the corruption of the issue of domestic violence by various government and non-government bodies and the transformation of domestic violence into an industry. The second video is on the suppression of the issue of domestic violence against men by the Canadian government, discussed by Girlwriteswhat (aka Karen Straughan). The third video is on the lies, manipulation, fabrication and distortion of information regarding domestic violence by the mainstream media and domestic violence movement, presented by Prof. Christina Hoff Sommers. The lies run very deep and they infiltrate our media and are supported by our governments. Feminist bigots ensure the female victim, male oppressor paradigm is enforced and our natural protective instinct toward women washes over what is left of the public’s critical thinking. We accept it and we never question it. That is of course until someone in our own lives, proves how terribly wrong we are in framing domestic violence as a women-only problem.

There is a domestic violence industry and there is money to be made from the female victim paradigm. It is at the heart of feminist propaganda, because it is the most salient way to emphasise female victimhood and acquire power over society. Anyone that dares to question feminist rhetoric on domestic violence, is automatically branded an angry misogynist who supports violence against women. This is particularly true if you are a man and you say something. It is very easy to paint critics of a victim narrative as oppressors. Of course this happens to women as well that dare to question feminist dogma on domestic violence. Erin Pizzey a domestic violence expert and critic of the feminist portrayal of domestic violence, has had bomb threats made against her (see above adjacent video). Violence to stop violence, where I do I begin? This just highlights the length gender ideologues will go to maintain the all important female victim paradigm.

To the feminist bigots and white knights, I say this-My aunt was physically abused by her scumbag husband (now ex-husband). How dare you imply that I advocate domestic violence against women. The thought of assaulting anyone, whether they be male or female makes me sick. I am not violent, I deplore violence and I resent being told that I am inherently more violent or aggressive because I am male. How dare you confine women that are physically assaulted to a life of victimhood. They have the right to flourish and move on with their lives. That does not mean I think we should ignore what happened to these women, like we do with male victims, just that they should be allowed to heal from the pain and enjoy the rest of their own lives. They have the right to feel safe around the majority of men that would never abuse them or rape them. Women should not be made to live in fear or be encouraged to develop a pathological hatred of men by feminist propaganda. The overwhelming majority of men mean women no harm. Indeed most men are highly protective of women. It is in our nature thanks to evolution! Funny how we never hear of feminists talk of the thousands of men that have lost their lives protecting women. Does the Titanic ring a bell? Women and children first?

From a male perspective, I find it highly insulting that some people think they need to remind me of not hitting a woman. The overwhelming majority of men do not need to be educated to not physically assault women. We are not the depraved neanderthal monsters the media and feminist bigots make us out to be. Indeed most men have an understandable level of contempt for men that abuse women. Even in prison being a wife beater can be a death sentence and such male perpetrators have to be protected from other male prisoners. If men in prison are prepared to kill men that abuse women, what do you think men in general think about men that abuse women? Men in our culture deplore violence against women. Handing out tougher sentences to husbands that abuse their wives and enforcing tougher laws, would be far more effective than demonising men in media campaigns because of the actions of a minority of abusive husbands. These abusive men, unlike most men who find such public messages personally offensive, are probably unaffected by such media campaigns anyway.

Perhaps what I find most offensive however, is the silence and inaction of our media, politicians and government, to address domestic violence against men and violence against men in general. It sends a clear message that no one cares about men or their welfare and safety. That men in vulnerable situations are not worthy of our consideration. That men are disposable utilities and not worthy of being regarded as human beings. Indeed when violence against men is actually encouraged or accepted in our culture as something “normal”, I definitely think it is fair to say that our societies dehumanise men. It is disgraceful and indefensible. Yet the silence prevails…..No doubt the propagation of the male threat narrative described in the video earlier in this article, is at least partly responsible for such a hostile attitude toward men.

I’ll tell you what, I will start taking White Ribbon day seriously, when society starts taking domestic violence and violence in general against men seriously. Until then, I see it as blind bigotry and I will not support it. Just on the subject of White Ribbon day, I would strongly urge people particularly those residing in Australia, to watch each of the following links and find out what you are not being told about the White Ribbon campaign: Firstly watch the adjacent video with Australian physician Dr. Greg Canning, click here to read about A Voice For Men's (AVFM) investigation of the White Ribbon campaign, click here for a related interview with AVFM founder Paul Elam regarding the investigation and the attempts to censor AVFM and click here to listen to psychotherapist Tom Golden debunking Dr. Flood's "research". People might also want to see what Australian counsellor Paul Batey has to say in this interview and what courageous Australian advocate Barry Williams has to say in his interview, regarding the messaging of White Ribbon day and domestic violence. What I find particularly concerning, is the negative impact White Ribbon day messaging in Australian schools is having on boys self-image, as reported in this article by Australian ABC reporter Elizabeth Jackson. Oh and by the way, the same disturbing pattern with White Ribbon day and the more general distortion of the nature of domestic violence, is found all over the West and not just in Australia. The mischaracterisation of domestic violence as a male perpetrated issue, is truly a global problem.

The reality is that the overwhelming body of research does not support the White Ribbon campaign's simplistic framing of domestic violence as a gendered problem of just mainly men beating up women. To counter this false message, Erin Pizzey the founder of the world's first women's shelter, has set up a website Honest Ribbon.org. This website recognises that domestic violence is not a gendered problem and that women are just about as violent toward men in intimate partner relationships, as men are toward women. This is what the vast bulk of domestic violence research has found, which can be reached at Erin Pizzey's site Honest Ribbon.org under the Partner Abuse State Of Knowledge Project (PASK). PASK is currently the largest domestic violence research database in the world. Alternatively, please rewatch the summary video and also the lecture on domestic violence research embedded earlier on in this article.

Let's just say that as an Australian, I am absolutely furious at how the public is being misinformed on domestic violence.

Yes Ken Lay (again see Herald Sun article here), I have taken a look at myself. I am not some monster that goes out to prey on women just because I am male. I don't seem to have this bizarre form of manhood you describe and neither do most men. So Ken, if you want to stop violence against women, then stop tarring the male half of the population with the same brush as the minority of male psychopaths who beat women. It is extremely offensive and completely ineffective. Instead, how about we stop letting serial offenders like Adrian Bailey get lenient sentences, go out on parole and murder and rape women like Jill Meagher! It is also about time that authorities, governments and the mainstream media took female perpetrated domestic violence seriously and made a commitment to ending violence against everyone and not just women.

Violence against anyone of any kind is completely unacceptable. The sex of the victim or the perpetrator should be irrelevant. Demonising men will not prevent domestic violence.