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The Power of Marriages

Updated on November 08, 2016

Healthy marriages

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Marriage is a signed Contract

Introduction:

Traditional marriages keep spouses in a circle. It is difficult to explain to a traditional husband or wife of a modern marriage.

The different beliefs keep people apart and from recent observations

I discovered the hardship of a traditional marriage.

To a modern lifestyle the traditional marriage appears wrong or inappropriate.

The way you look at such marriages allows for a better understanding of that culture. You don’t always see the marriage the way persons involved sees their marriage.

The days are long passed whereby a woman is held back from enjoying her life as a mother or wife.

Age has got nothing to do with the way she lives life.

The old-fashioned ones live by the age. In this strategy the traditional way of life is a must for too many marriages. Village life is traditional and unique.

A traditional woman is to marry and raise a family.

What about other needs in that woman’s life?

To have a husband and a family is a choice one makes to grow as a person. Traditional people believe married life is more important than any other part of one’s life.

What is in a marriage requires more than just what is required of you in a traditional marriage

Traditional is having strong beliefs and values of a family.

The customs are forced down to generations. Tradition is important to any culture.

However, not many hold on to these traditions. The village people in a small community follow their tradition courageously.

A married couple in a traditional marriage in the place I live in is a lot to grasp for me.

I didn't know much of a traditional marriage till I moved to Croatia in the southern part of konavle.

My life changed as did my marriage when I found myself in a traditional lifestyle. The many challenges I faced in my marriage did not make me weak. Modern times have changed a few traditional marriages.

The small villages have the old practices of a traditional marriage.

The dominance is present by most traditional marriages.

Hard work shows the strength of the many village people.

Traditional lifestyles are present to this day in this region. The traditional dressing and foods are a live and there to stay.

The custom is old-fashioned and not how I chose to live in this village.

I couldn't live in a tradition that makes me feel older than I am. I respect other cultures and people’s beliefs. In most traditional marriages couples are not always the happiest.

It is shown in their behaviors. I call it People Pleasing! Most of the women work for most of the day in fields. Cooking, cleaning, and entertaining guests.

She has no choice but to continue her daily chores. Time for her is not possible in a traditional marriage. In a marriage you need to be at peace with yourself.

You can't make each other happy. Each of you needs to be happy in your comfortable zones. Change your mind set. Positive energy works from both sides stick to that mode.

An open mind begins with peace. What you perceive creates reality. If you perceive peace in your marriage then that's what you will get in your marriage.

I believe what I see is what I get. You either accept what is in front of you, or be miserable with what you dream you should have in your marriage.

Every move you make toward your partner explains your behavior and attitude towards the relationship in the marriage.

There are the annoying moments experienced in any marriage. It is up to you to choose your path.

You can choose to be annoyed with everything in your marriage or choose to be at peace with yourself.

The habits you don't prefer will be there right in your face.

There is something about you that your partner is annoyed with and won't say a word to you. You need to maintain a peace of mind in all cases.

You must realize your marriage is no marathon. Whatever you have in mind you are in a marriage together.

Two people have important issues to resolve and should do it together.

I know nothing can ruin my day unless I let it ruin my day.

A little teasing from your partner shouldn't ruin your day. Sometimes the little things are left better unspoken of in a marriage.

You don't need to bicker about every little issue.

Problems get bigger when one of the partners sees everything as a serious matter.

The dirty laundry left on the floor is annoying.

Talk about it and let out the steam that bothers you. Be responsible for your content. The choices you make allows for a better relationships in marriages. You choose to be part of another person's life and to be there for your family.

The power you have allows for the handling of such moments. You don't need to depend on your partner to make you happy.

Remember you are in charge of your own happiness. You become a victim when you make others responsible for your needs. Maintain your power.

You choose what you need in your life to be yourself and not someone else. It is you who deserves to be happy and in love. Both partners deserve each other.

Communication is power.

Why do you need to shut your mouth during communication?

You need to listen to your partner. Let your partner speak uninterrupted. I understand that you will find it difficult to allow your partner to speak uninterrupted.

It happens to me sometimes that I interrupt the conversation.

I learned to slow down my thoughts and thinking when formulating a response.

You need to validate your speech to inform your partner you know what is mentioned.

The lack of understanding and communicating can allow for poor relationships in a marriage. It is possible that you could hear your partner differently.

To be able to listen to each other is very important.

Make sure you heard correctly before responding to conversations. Be honest and open in communication. You got a problem get rid of that problem.

Partners fail in communication when they use their words as a weapon to destroy the one they love.

Whatever you have on your mind should be told with encouragement. In this way you strengthen your marriage. The hurtful words can't be reversed.

What you say stays with that person forever. Once the words are uttered it stays.

The heart takes the pain of your hurtful words and keeps it there. You must know what you want from your partner. Always speak the truth.

To speak truthfully you honor your partner and yourself. You must be honest with yourself before being honest with your partner.

Speak from the heart with your partner to create that honest friendship in your relationship and marriage.

The moment you show the truth in yourself everything else falls in place in your marriage. The little irritations grow to big lesions.

Time is required to heal from those experiences. You and your partner must be willing to speak truthfully.

Be respectful and set boundaries.

You are worthy as your partner is worthy to you. Try to reasonable and calm in free speech. Be free to speak up if you don't prefer a certain type of behavior.

It is important to talk of what bothers you. There is no need to be inappropriate about it. Be yourself and use your skills to avoid this type of behavior for next time.

The way you live your life is entirely up to you. To become part of a family and to include children in that family shows your potential in the marriage.

You are responsible for your own behaviors. Often when I brush my hair strands do fall in the wash hand basin. I don't do that intentionally.

He thinks I left my hair in the sink deliberately.

When two people stay together through all times they know their choices are good for each other.

Importance of a Marriage

Marriage Issues

Is Marriage a choice for you?

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    • billybuc profile image

      Bill Holland 13 months ago from Olympia, WA

      Once again, excellent advice learned through experience. This series should be required reading for anyone considering marriage.

    • swalia profile image

      Shaloo Walia 13 months ago

      Excellent advice to married couples!

    • Shyron E Shenko profile image

      Shyron E Shenko 13 months ago

      Devika, this is very informative and you give good advice. I really don't know what a traditional marriage is.

      My husband gave me a poem when we got married a poem that I will always cherish.

      Woman was taken out of man;

      not out of his head to top him,

      nor out of his feet to be trampled underfoot;

      but out of his side to be equal to him,

      under his arm to be protected,

      and near his heart to be loved by him.

      Blessings my friend

    • sallybea profile image

      Sally Gulbrandsen 13 months ago from Norfolk

      Good advice for both married and unmarried couples. Developing as individuals is as important as learning to grow together as a couple. I can't for one moment imagine what it might be like to have to go out to the fields every day to work! While I enjoy gardening I certainly don't enjoy it that much:)

    • MsDora profile image

      Dora Isaac Weithers 13 months ago from The Caribbean

      "It is up to you to choose your path." Good advice, Devika, as usual. Best to you, going forward in your marriage relationship.

    • dashingscorpio profile image

      dashingscorpio 13 months ago

      "You don’t always see the marriage the way persons involved sees their marriage." - This is very true!

      When it comes to relationships and marriage there is no "one size fits all" type that works for everyone. Only the individuals knows what's "right" for them. Each of us (chooses) our own friends, lovers, and spouse.

      The goal is to find someone who shares your same values, wants the same things you want, naturally agrees with you on how to obtain those things, and last but not least there is a mutual depth of love and desire for one another.

      Anytime one finds them self trying to "sell" or "convince" their mate to change their (core beliefs) it's a sure sign they (chose) the wrong mate.

      There is no amount of communication or work that can overcome being with someone who simply does not want what you want. Very few people are walking around with one hand raised in the air screaming:

      "I'm looking for someone to change me!"

      Most people want to be loved and accepted for who they are.

      There are only two ways to experience joy and peace of mind in relationships: We either get what we want or we learn to be happy with what we have. Accept them as (is) or move on. The choice is up to us!

    • always exploring profile image

      Ruby Jean Fuller 13 months ago from Southern Illinois

      Marriage is a wonderful union when the couple can communicate their wishes and work together to achieve them. The old traditions of a woman being completely dependent on her mate is old school. I admire your spunk. Well done..

    • emge profile image

      Madan 13 months ago from Abu Dhabi

      Nice hub. Only Islam accepts marriage as a contract. It is not so in other religions. Overall marriage is a man creation, flawed but necessary

    • Deborah Demander profile image

      Deborah Demander 13 months ago from First Wyoming, then THE WORLD

      this is a good article. I especially agree with your statement that nothing can ruin your day unless you allow it to ruin your day.

      We are each responsible for our own happiness.

      Namaste

    • Michael-Milec profile image

      Michael-Milec 13 months ago

      Packed with wisdom and good advises. You called a "traditional marriage''- to my understanding it is an eternal union of one man and a one woman for most important purpose to " be fruitful and increase in number; fill the earth and subdue it...." While I was having the license of officiating marriages, I have advised a new couple that the first one hundred years in marriage is a "trial", we are learning to know and love each other more then ourselves... After that all would be much easier. ( We are past half way by now, and already is worth every bit of it.)

    • AliciaC profile image

      Linda Crampton 13 months ago from British Columbia, Canada

      This is a useful hub. I've often thought about the difference between a traditional marriage and a modern one. It's an interesting and important topic.

    • profile image

      Surabhi Kaura 13 months ago

      This is a superb hub, Devika. So much food for thought here. Very well done. Bravo!

    • DDE profile image
      Author

      Devika Primić 13 months ago from Dubrovnik, Croatia

      Hi billybuc Thank you very much for commenting.

    • DDE profile image
      Author

      Devika Primić 13 months ago from Dubrovnik, Croatia

      swalia Thank you for stopping by.

    • DDE profile image
      Author

      Devika Primić 13 months ago from Dubrovnik, Croatia

      Hello Shyron E Shenko Thank you for stopping by. The poem is beautiful. I appreciate your presence at my hubs.

    • DDE profile image
      Author

      Devika Primić 13 months ago from Dubrovnik, Croatia

      Hi Sallybea Thank you greatly for sharing your comment.

    • DDE profile image
      Author

      Devika Primić 13 months ago from Dubrovnik, Croatia

      Hi MsDora so glad you came by thank you.

    • DDE profile image
      Author

      Devika Primić 13 months ago from Dubrovnik, Croatia

      Hi dashingscorpio traditional marriage are a hard choice. Sometimes when two people meet as in an arranged meeting they end together for different reasons. He wants her to be there as a helper and will provide for her. I appreciate your comment thank you.

    • DDE profile image
      Author

      Devika Primić 13 months ago from Dubrovnik, Croatia

      always exploring Thank you kindly for sharing this. All my best to you.

    • DDE profile image
      Author

      Devika Primić 13 months ago from Dubrovnik, Croatia

      emge thank you for sharing your comment.

    • DDE profile image
      Author

      Devika Primić 13 months ago from Dubrovnik, Croatia

      Hi Deborah Demander Thank you for sharing your comment. Marriage is a commitment and often the commitment becomes a burden to one of the partners. No sense in waiting for happiness from your partner you will be most unhappy.

    • DDE profile image
      Author

      Devika Primić 13 months ago from Dubrovnik, Croatia

      Hi Michael-Milec nice of you to stop by. People change and grow all the time without a n understanding of each other a marriage is not worth getting into for any couple.Than you.

    • DDE profile image
      Author

      Devika Primić 13 months ago from Dubrovnik, Croatia

      Hi AliciaC thank you kindly for stopping by always appreciated.

    • DDE profile image
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      Devika Primić 13 months ago from Dubrovnik, Croatia

      Surabhi Kaura thank you for commenting.

    • Vellur profile image

      Nithya Venkat 13 months ago from Dubai

      Great advice here. We need to listen to understand and communicate effectively respecting boundaries. Interesting and informative read.

    • rajan jolly profile image

      Rajan Singh Jolly 13 months ago from From Mumbai, presently in Jalandhar,INDIA.

      Good tips and advice, Devika. For a marriage to work in any period consideration of each other's feelings and allowing breathing space to one another is of paramount importance.

      Great hub.

    • DDE profile image
      Author

      Devika Primić 13 months ago from Dubrovnik, Croatia

      Hello Vellur thank you for sharing your view here always appreciated.

    • DDE profile image
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      Devika Primić 13 months ago from Dubrovnik, Croatia

      Hello rajan jolly so kind of you pay a visit here thank you.

    • ChitrangadaSharan profile image

      Chitrangada Sharan 13 months ago from New Delhi, India

      Great hub with much to think and understand. The responsibility of having a successful marriage lies with both the partners. You have given excellent advice in this insightful hub.

      Thanks for sharing!

    • DDE profile image
      Author

      Devika Primić 13 months ago from Dubrovnik, Croatia

      Thank you fir the valuable comment. I appreciate your presence at my hub.

    • MarleneB profile image

      Marlene Bertrand 13 months ago from Northern California, USA

      Very good information. Your idea to listen to your partner is so important in communication. The more you know what is in the other person's heart, the better you can understand them. Listening, not talking, is the best way to learn.

    • D.A.L. profile image

      Dave 13 months ago from Lancashire north west England

      Excellent advise which can only enhance current marriages and a must read for anyone with marriage in mind. Another superb piece written in your unique style. You have an excellent grasp on human emotions. Well done

    • DDE profile image
      Author

      Devika Primić 13 months ago from Dubrovnik, Croatia

      Help MarleneB thank you for a thoughtful comment and so true. I appreciate you stopping by. Have a lovely. Sunday.

    • DDE profile image
      Author

      Devika Primić 13 months ago from Dubrovnik, Croatia

      Hi D.A.l. So glad you came by your kind comments are encouraging and positive toward my hubs. All my best to you. Thank you.

    • FlourishAnyway profile image

      FlourishAnyway 13 months ago from USA

      I love the quote by H. Jackson Brown, “Marry the right person. This one decision will determine 90% of your happiness or misery." It is so very true. Thank goodness I found a good one, but I see so many marriages (traditional and non-traditional) in which people simply picked the wrong lifelong mate.

    • DDE profile image
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      Devika Primić 13 months ago from Dubrovnik, Croatia

      FlourishAnyway I agree marriages of 30 years are breaking up and that is sad. Two people together for so long and then to give it up for whatever the reasons are is hard to explain. I know of a few couples who are not for each other but of culture sake stay together or of what others will say if they split up. Thank you

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