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The Secret to Great Relationships

Updated on October 26, 2013

Healthy Relationship Tips

Treat others the way you want to be treated

You may have been hearing this Golden Rule tip for as long as you can remember.

But, look around you everyday. Are others treating others the way they like to be treated? In this day and age of life in the fast lane, always in a hurry, instant gratification and get out of my way type of attitudes, this rule seems to have been all but forgotten. It's the exception and not the rule when someone can show genuine kindness and compassion to those around them.

Especially in relationships.

Don't think so? Check out the domestic violence and divorce statistics.

Taking the time to find and nurture your relationships does take patience and work, but the results are extremely worthwhile in the end.

What's the Big Secret?

The kind of relationships we want...

We all want them.

Close and committed relationships.

The kind where you never have to wonder what's going on behind your back. The kind where you just know that no matter what you say or do, your best friend (whether girlfriend, boyfriend or husband) will stick by you til the end.

The kind of relationship that lifts you up when you are down. One where you can go to feel safe and loved. Your soft place to fall.

To have someone in your life who would still love you no matter what deep, dark secret you shared with them. Someone who knows the real you and despite your faults, truly loves you anyway.

Someone to laugh with. Someone to cry with. Someone to come along with us on this journey called life.

Those describe the kind of relationships we want. All of us.


Just for fun, take the time to treat those closest to you as you would like to be treated. It doesn't have to cost a lot of money, in fact, the best gifts of time and attention are free.

Call someone you haven't spoken to in a while. Buy someone some flowers. Make someone a cup of coffee.

Do something thoughtful for someone just because that's how you want to be treated. The results just might surprise you!

Be k-i-n-d to one another...


Communication Styles

Everyone has their own way of communicating. Listen to what those around are really saying.

  • Do they always talk about fun and socializing? Upbeat and positive?
  • Do they talk in facts and figures, just wanting to cut to the chase?
  • Are they emotional and speak a lot of how things feel and affect them personally?
  • Are they extremely competitive and want to win at anything and everything?

Healthy Relationship Tips


One of the biggest problems in any relationship is communication.

Learning to communicate effectively can prevent a lot of misunderstandings and hurt feelings.

Learning to tap into these clues can help you become an expert at communicating with just about anyone. This tip alone can help you communicate more effectively at home, at work and in striking up conversations freely with anyone.

When you identify the tone of their conversations, you know what the hot buttons and motivations are for them, and why they think and act the way the do. Once you identify this, you can "speak their speak" and knock down those walls built with lack of communication.


What's the big secret?

Time for the big reveal...

The secret to great relationships - the big one - is simply believing that you deserve a great relationship.

Yep. Think about it. If you don't love yourself, how can you give love to others? How can you treat them the way you want to be treated, or communicate effectively?

If you have love and respect for yourself, and a good dose of self confidence to boot, you are going to be far more successful in finding and maintaining great relationships. This is especially true with romantic relationships.

How can you possibly be in a great relationship if you don't believe you deserve one? If you settle for anyone who doesn't treat you as well as they should, become a doormat, or stay in a less-than-satisfying relationship because, well, at least it's some kind of a relationship. These are not indicators that you really believe you deserve a great relationship.

Focus on your positives and what you are good at. Spend less time focusing on your negatives, but rather acknowledge them and vow to work on these area that are not your strong points.

The biggest secret to meeting the man or woman of your dreams is to believe - without a doubt - that you are not only worth it, but deserve nothing but the best. It requires a great deal of courage and patience to get to this point, but when you do, you will have the power and potential to attract great, committed relationships.


Self Sabatoging Relationships

Do you do this?

Are you responsible for self sabatoging relationships? Do you do any of these things without even really realizing it?

  • Become loud and obnoxious when around people to hide your fear and anxiety?
  • Swear like a sailor for that shock and awe effect?
  • Hide behind addictions like alcohol, cigarettes or ?? as a way to deal with fear and ward off pain?
  • Always have to have some drama going on in your life?
  • Do things to destroy relationships first before someone beats you to it?

You may think that these behaviors, or something like them, shows people that you are a free spirit or confident. I'm here to tell you that it has quite the opposite effect. Most people feel sorry for those who act outrageously, or downright embarass themselves with wild & crazy behavior.

Now is the time to do some soul searching. If you are struggling to get good romantic relationships off the ground, ask yourself honestly if there is something you may be doing - whether you realize it or not - that keeps you from moving forward into a loving, committed relationship.

What Do You Say?

Do you believe that you are deserving of a great relationship?

See results

Now THIS is a Love Ballad (old school)

The Secret to Great Relationships

You know about the Golden Rule, better communication and believing that you deserve a great relationships.

Hopefully, these things will get you thinking about how to improve all your existing relationships, plus key pieces of information you need to get into a solid, committed romantic relationship or take your current romantic relationship to the next level.

Relationships can be complicated and the goal is to UN-complicate them so you can have the happy, loving and committed relationship you know you deserve, faster and easier than ever before.

For more support and encouragement, please read some of my articles at

Thanks for visiting!

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    • patricia_bruce profile image

      patricia_bruce 4 years ago from Wisconsin

      Thank you for your comments. And I agree...the only thing that seems to make people change their attitudes and behaviors is when it's close to coming to an end. I hate to admit that I've been guilty of this, too. When you realize that the relationship you thought you had is broken, it really opens your eyes. It's a hard lesson to learn. Relationships are so fragile and require constant tending. Good luck with your writing, as well. If just one person can make positive changes in time to save their relationship - it's worth it!

    • Dr Billy Kidd profile image

      Dr Billy Kidd 4 years ago from Sydney, Australia

      Nice work. All that you say seems to be true. Unfortunately, the average couple only becomes concerned about their relationship when they're close to breaking up.

      That's because what you talk about is rational. Relationships are emotive and people are not taught to read stuff like you write and then get to work on making their lives better. They're taught to fight for survival when things become painful. Funny, I've been writing on this topic for five years and the most popular blog is the one on figuring if you should call it quits. all makes sense, somehow, in the end.