- Gender and Relationships
The Things that Irk Me about Dating Ads
I, like many others out there seeking meaningful relationships, will sometimes resort to dating ads particularly online to find that special someone. Sometimes, in-person venues such as bars, laundromats, coffee shops, schools, or jobs, don’t quite offer the varieties or kinds of people we want to meet on personal and intimate levels.
Perhaps it’s my self-diagnosed Obsessive Compulsive Disorder that expects high standards for how a personal ad is supposed be made, which will in turn define for me the emotional and mental state of mind of the person behind it. Maybe you can agree with me on the details that you encounter as you browse the World Wide Web for your potential better half.
Now, let’s get to the things that get on my nerves about romance postings that may, or may not, also get on yours… I’m addressing the writers of these typical ads directly in the hopes of delivering constructive criticism. I’m all for free speech and freedom of expression, but there’s also a place and time for everything… Even in the mysterious world of online dating.
Body of the Personal Ad
· Spelling and Punctuation – How hard is it to put coherent sentences together? Opening another window on your computer to search for an online dictionary is right at your fingertips. You may be extremely intelligent and gifted, but a lot of people can judge someone based on their written expression.
· ALL CAPS Typing – WHEN YOU TYPE LIKE THIS, IT SOUNDS LIKE YOU’RE YELLING! That’s an important rule of etiquette in the world of typed communication. Undo the CAPS LOCK feature on that keyboard. Please.
· Vague Summary – “I’m a cool girl looking to have fun. If this sounds interesting, message me.” OK, so what makes you cool enough for me to have the interest to message you? Don’t be lazy. Explain yourself and tell the world reading about you why you’re unique enough to stand out of the many other ads.
· The Ex-Factor – While we all come from past relationships, bashing your ex- and the relationship you were in with him, or her, may make you come off as bitter and not entirely over it. A serious person will not trust that you’re genuinely seeking another love interest if you bring up the wrong you were done. If while on a date, the subject comes up, sure, feel free to discuss it civilly and neutrally.
· Defensiveness or Offensiveness – “This is how I am, so if you don’t like it, oh well!” [Sigh], you could be likeable if you hadn’t come off with an attitude right off the bat. That sends bad vibes about your ability, or lack thereof, to communicate and compromise. I also don’t like the discriminatory posts that rule out people that may be unemployed, undereducated, or living at home. Things are rough out there for everyone. People that once had it all, have lost it and have since been undergoing the slow process of starting anew. Everyone has a story that ought to be heard. If meeting someone in that boat, give them a chance to explain and see if they’re working on bettering their situation.
· Profane and/or Explicit Sexual Language – Unless you’re a nun or monk, cursing and swearing are almost daily parts of our weak human nature when we’re angry, sad or frustrated. However, if you’re trying to be attractive, dropping some s- and f-bombs for no reason other than to try and sound cool or bad-ass, will repel those who may find it a turn-off. Also, you describing what you intend to do to my private anatomical parts upon meeting is not only disgusting, but a foul stench of disrespect of yourself and of others. That’s what bars and night clubs are for.
Ah, the Profile Pictures!
· If you must post a picture of yourself and others in it, please, let us know which one you are. I’m pretty intuitive, but not great at guessing which one you are.
· What is it with people posting pictures of themselves sitting inside their cars? Is that to let the world know you have a ride and can come over without being picked up?
· Taking a picture of yourself using the bathroom mirror is so My Space! Be more creative or have a friend take the shots for you.
· What is it with males taking headless pictures of their chest and midsection? While being fit and having a nice body is attractive, a relationship is built on much more than. Besides, leave some to the ladies’ imaginations.
· Ladies, while J-Lo was blessed with a lot in the back, you shouldn’t be on all fours trying to outdo her. You are a woman; not a mule or a mare.
· Your junk NEEDS NOT to be seen up front, people. While size may matter to many, the interaction is mostly done with the face. Cover that stuff up until the night that you score.
· I find it hilarious when the person in the picture tries to be erotically inviting, but yet the background shows a tornado-stricken bedroom. Clean that up with your messy self!