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The Top Five Reasons Why Black Women Remain Long-Suffering and White Women Show and Tell All

Updated on October 24, 2016

The Tolerant Types


The Black Woman's Burden

The African-American woman, upon experiencing the bitter taste of domestic violence still somehow “stands by her man.” For a race that has received the most despicable treatment and for the sex which has been battered physically, emotionally, economically, and socially, the Black woman still holds down her male mate. But why not the white woman? Though she initially denied having been abused, Nicole Holder displayed the bruises and scars which Dallas Cowboys defensive end Greg Hardy of the National Football League (NFL), inflicted upon her. In stark contrast to this, Ravens running back Ray Rice’s wife Janay Palmer denied that her husband is a “woman beater.” Here are The Top Five Reasons Why Black Women Remain Long-Suffering and White Women Tell All.

5. The Negro woman wants her man to succeed

If the phrase “behind every great man there’s a great woman” has any truth, then it sits well with the Colored woman. Every time the Black man has achieved greatness, the first thing that critics do is to analyze whether his better half helped to support and bolster him for attaining such high stature. The Black woman has held down her man by instituting integrity, honesty, and loyalty within the relationship.

4. White women voice their suffering more

While the African-American woman has endured the pains of slavery, Jim Crow, and discrimination, she has remained the strong silent type when it comes to abuse. Though she may curse you out and obliterate your whole mindset by way of Ebonics she, once hit, remains a quiet force for the struggle. On the other hand, the white woman will voice her pain and report to the authorities with the quickness. Her endeavors through suffragist movements pales in comparison to the Negress’ ability to face the onslaught of race combined with sex.

3. Selflessness remains a mainstay to the Black woman

Instead of finding selfishness to be a virtue, the Black woman damns any sense of caring for herself and puts her husband, boyfriend, child, and entire family first. Rather than viewing her own life as the standard for whether she wants to help someone, sadly, she sacrifices herself to give up her time, her patience, her happiness to cater to others. Without a proper understanding of the role that self-interest ought to play, she shuffles backwards to the stance of an expiator. She ought to recognize that it is in fact selfish to take of one's values (spouse, children, parents).

2. Faith is the guide for the African-American woman

The Colored woman relies on the almighty healing powers of the unknown and unknowable. Her hopes are built on the sweet blood of Jesus. As opposed to placing her reason above faith, she carries on through existence offering praise and worship instead of critical thinking and rational planning. Because God plays such a large role in her life, the Black woman never fully realizes her complete potential. Whenever she is beaten by her alleged romantic love interest, she calls for prayer time and meetings with the pastor to pacify the rage and resentment. All is for naught, as the beater continues to beat and the cheater continues to cheat. Only the Black woman falls to her knees and asks the fictitious face above to forgive her for not being as beautiful as the white woman. For her misplaced allegiance to her faith, the Black woman will continue to degrade herself.

1. The Black woman continues to envy the white woman

The key to the universe, the white woman, has built up a reputation for being peppy, enthusiastic, and ready to develop lasting relationships. On the other hand, the African-American woman has been known to hold an ill-disposed demeanor. Her sassy talk and sashaying walk, have earned her the name of a covetous female. Her animosity toward the white woman only extends itself when faced with the comparison to her. Often accused of “stealing the Black man,” the Negro woman will go to extremes to denounce and decry any instance where the white woman happens to find a Black male mate. This envy is what is killing the Black woman. Maybe with the realization that all women (and men) no matter their race face the possibility of being abused, the African-American woman and the white woman may actually join forces to combat the physical maltreatment that both women experience.


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    • Skyler Saunders profile imageAUTHOR

      Skyler Saunders 

      3 years ago from Newark, DE

      I appreciate your thorough and thought-provoking response to my Hub. The list of powerful Black women nailed home my point of African-American woman self-empowerment. The lines about the women and men in their teens, twenties and thirties ring true.

      I respect you for voicing your faith even though I am a proud non-believer in the theory of God. Reason, individualism and capitalism provide any man or woman regardless of race the opportunity to carve out a life for themselves and " live as a human being on this earth," as Ayn Rand would say. The Negro woman would benefit from these ideals tremendously. And because of the beautiful philosophy of Objectivism, we all might just live to see the day where the "initiation of physicsl force is banished from human relationships." Ayn Rand said that, too. I thank you, sir.

    • dashingscorpio profile image


      3 years ago

      Very interesting!

      I think people run into a whole host of potential problems when they stop thinking of themselves as (individuals).

      Life is a (personal) journey.

      Each of us gets to choose our own friends, lovers, or spouse.

      Each of us is entitled to have our own "deal breakers".

      One thing I've noted is a lot of blacks and minority women in general invest way too much time and energy into relationships as opposed to getting a higher education and establishing a high paying career.

      Another potential setback from happiness is limiting one's relationship options. A lot of black women would rather "make do" with black men who don't have the traits they want rather than for them to date outside of their race. God has mad over 7 Billion people!

      A Mercedes 600SL (in any color) is still a Mercedes 600SL!

      Maybe one is better off not focusing on race/color when it comes to choosing a "quality" mate.

      Another issue the effects all women regardless of race is not understanding that men and women have different goals in their 20s.

      Any woman who is her late teens and 20s who wants to settle down and get married is probably setting herself up for heartache if she believes guys in that age rage want the same thing. Most guys in their 20s are in no hurry to become their parents!

      The last thing on their mind is getting married, signing a 30 year mortgage, and having children. These guys want to watch sports, play video games, party with friends, and get laid!

      A woman in her 20s who has her heart on settling down would probably do better to date men in their early 30s with established careers who have already gone through all that other stuff.

      Finally there appears too much animosity between the genders in minority communities. Before one ever gets into a relationship friends & family members of their respective gender will "warn" them about the opposite sex. "All women ....etc All men .....etc". "Never do this or say that.." In essence we're taught not to trust each other very early on!

      Both sides agenda is to try and get what they can out of the other without getting hurt. That's not a healthy way to approach love and relationships.

      One other point is black women would do better to read and learn about other successful black women. (Ursula Burns - CEO & Chairwoman of Xerox Corporation, Rosalind G. Brewer - CEO of Sam's Club, Cathy Hughes - CEO of Radio One and TV One, Janice Bryant Howroyd - CEO ACT-1 Group. Madame C.J. Walker was the first female self-made millionaire in the U.S. and that was back in the early 1900s!)

      Sometimes just knowing what is possible for people within a group can cause one to believe they can rise too! One black man's opinion!:)


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