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The Types of Men You Will Date Before You Will Meet the One

Updated on March 31, 2020
Jpanaro982 profile image

Jennifer has a B.A. in Communications. She is an expert with self- help. She studied two years of marriage and family therapy.

What heartbreak looks like
What heartbreak looks like

Dating is Like Trying on a Pair of Shoes

It amazes me the comments I hear that some women put on men, whenever they end a bad relationship. "He cheated on me. He used me for sex. All men are horrible I am never dating any man ever again. I am only focusing on myself."

While it is normal to have trust issues when a relationship ends, it is also important to know that when you meet someone you do not go into it with rose colored glasses.

Relationships that last long take a long time to build. The ones that are built on lust are the ones that come in quickly and end quickly because the men have an agenda and they are looking to get in and get out.

Dating is like trying a pair of shoes. Some people meet their life partner in high school. Others meet them in college. Others love life is like a roller coaster before they meet "the one." You can't compare your love life to someone else's. Just because you are in your 30's and not married does not mean you never will. Here are the different types of men you may encounter before meeting "the one."

The Types of Men You May Encounter Before Meeting "The One."

1) The Booty Call. When your in your 20's and in in college it is normal to experience this type of person. You meet someone you are attracted to. You think you want the same things. Only to find out he is using you. He texts you for one thing and when you say "No," he ignores you.

2) Your Best Friend. You never thought you would be in this situation and now things are awkward you fell for your best friend. It's great to be friends before a relationship because he was the one who protected you from all the guys who were trying to use you and abuse you. You have all these great inside jokes and there is so much trust and inside jokes but will this ruin the friendship if it does not work out with you too?

3) Friends with Benefits. Things started a way that you sort of wish they did not. You and your best friend were attracted to each other and you hooked up. Now you just can't stop. You have a major problem. You want to pursue the friendship and actually want to be in a relationship and he just wants to hook up all the time and say things like "I can't have a relationship this is all I can give you." It's normal for two human beings to be attracted to each other and want to explore their feelings. When they start hooking up and being friends with benefits before the trust and love is established then it does never get to the relationship point. It is better to build slowly and make sure you both want the same things because then someone will get attached and eventually get hurt.

4) The Smooth Operator. He is rich and charming. He is also six years younger than you but you can't help but want to give him a chance. He is so much fun to be around. He tells you everything that you want to hear and takes you on romantic dates and buys you amazing gifts. The sex is amazing. Your friends warn you he is using you. Even after he breaks up or cheats on you he knows exactly what to do to get you back and then he hurts you all over again. He has a hidden agenda.

5) The Ghoster. You are crazy and head over heels over him. You think you have a great connection. Then all of a sudden you never hear from him again and you have no idea what happened.

6) The One Before You meet the One. This one is an interesting one. He will drive you crazy. He will test you to make you question to see if love is really for you. He will have his guard up and give you mixed signals and even show signs of narcissism. To everyone else you will look like the perfect couple. You will want a future with him but deep down inside you will question "Is he really the one for me?" You are constantly crying every time you are along because he just does not make you happy, in the way that you know you deserve. You are bored and lonely with him.

What Does it Look Like When You Meet "The One?"

When you Meet "The One," you see why all of your previous relationships never worked out. There is communication, trust, honesty, loyalty, love, respect etc. Everything that a relationship needs in order to thrive.

When you Meet "The One," you feel a sense of calmness. You no longer are overthinking and feel in competition with other women, like you were before when you were dealing with men, who did not want to settle down. You now have trust and mutual understanding that the both of you have feelings together and are ready to build a relationships. There are no lies and game playing. There are no "We are just having fun for now," no pushing boundaries. Boundaries are usually established right away. It is more relaxing, enjoying each other's company and falling in love day by day.

True Love Does Exist

True Love Does Exist some people find their life partner sooner than others. True Love requires hard work. It requires compromise, loyalty, honesty, communication, etc. It does exist though.

There is no greater feeling in the world than to love someone unconditional and be able to look at your partner and say "You are my teammate."



First Date
First Date
What it looks like when you meet the one
What it looks like when you meet the one

This content is accurate and true to the best of the author’s knowledge and is not meant to substitute for formal and individualized advice from a qualified professional.

© 2020 Jennifer Panaro

Comments

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  • Jpanaro982 profile imageAUTHOR

    Jennifer Panaro 

    16 months ago from Eastchester

    Thank you for your feedback and yes I agree. Each person looks for different things. We are all on different paths. We also change as we get older you are right about that. Thank you for your advice!

  • dashingscorpio profile image

    dashingscorpio 

    16 months ago from Chicago

    If you go to the grocery store to buy an apple but purchase an onion instead whose fault is that? Do you curse the onion for not being an apple? No! You learn to become a "better shopper".

    Each of us (chooses) our own friends, lovers, and spouse.

    Each of us has our own mate selection process/must haves list.

    Each of us has our own boundaries and "deal breakers".

    If you're having one bad relationship after another it's probably time to reexamine your mate selection/screening process. The only thing all of your failed relationships have in common is (you).

    When (we) change our circumstances change.

    When it comes to love and relationships most of us (fail our way) to success. Very few people hit a homerun their first, second, third, or fourth time up at bat. If this were not true we would all be married to our high school sweethearts!

    During our youth we tend to be spontaneous, naïve, gullible, and have unrealistic expectations about everything. Most of us had not figured out who (we) are let alone knew what we wanted and needed in a mate for life! We allowed "impulsive connections" and "happenstance" to dictate our relationship choices.

    It's the equivalent of going shopping without a list!

    Whatever made for an "ideal mate" at ages 17, 19, or 22 most likely will not cut it for us at ages 30, 35, or beyond.

    With each heartache, betrayal, and failed relationship we are presented with an opportunity to craft or refine our mate selection process. Nothing happens until (you) say "yes" to someone. Choose wisely! (One man's opinion!) :)

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