- Gender and Relationships»
- Relationship Problems & Advice
Woman, Covet Not
Check your moral compass
Covetous men (women) are fools, miserable wretches, buzzards, madmen who live by themselves, in perpetual slavery, fear, suspicion, sorrow, discontent, with more of gall than honey in their enjoyments; who are rather possessed by their money than possessors of it. Robert Burton
I'm not for judging women, even at their worst. I have been on the other side too many times, and it sucks! I write from experience, and i can tell you, i have every reason to come down on women who stole loyalties, caused us heartaches, and traumatized many dear to us. My dad's womanizing broke our home, and devastated our beautiful family. I used to wonder what kind of woman would wreck a marriage. What was it that she wanted at all cost, and still live with her conscience? Was it the money, good looks, the status, what? I left my first husband because he liked women a little too much. Again, i asked, did these women know he was married? I never really found the answers. But, rather than be bitter, i resolved to gain from my experiences. One thing for sure, i committed to never hurt another woman by stealing her husband. And, i vowed, my daughter will never mess around with a married man and be a mistress. As a mother to my one and only child, one of the biggest concerns i had was, how to raise a daughter with strong moral convictions, I wasn't going to be remiss in my role, to equip her to be a woman who will make the right choices and decisions in life. I wanted her to do better than i did, and prayed that she would live by the guiding principles passed on to me by the good women in my life, like my mother, and grandmother. Given the damage i have already done to myself, my early marriage, the divorce, we had a rough starting point. Understanding human nature, what's in our DNA, i knew, it was just a matter of 'when', she would challenge my authority, as a rebel teenage girl, whose hormones would be on overdrive. I knew i had to be tenacious tiger mom of sort, and stand my ground.
I was raised in a home where we read scriptures and were taught to live by every precept. I did just fine while i was under the protective care of my parents and 4 watchdog brothers. Then, i found myself thrust into the unknown and dark world of adulthood, Out in the wild, among the wolves, i went through a crucible that tested my moral fortitude. Working as a model, i met many attractive, successful and powerful men, and mostly married. It was the ultimate battle for a single woman, to ward off men, and reject some of the most degrading, sexist, preposterous, propositions out there. I know first hand what it means to be targeted by the boss, and you have no choice but to leave the job. I have seen the worst in workplaces, when women are compromised, and it's hard to put blame on anyone, because, for me, you always have a choice. I remember a conversation i had with a very attractive tycoon who tried to convince me, it was ok to be in a relationship with him, despite the fact he was already keeping two. I found it hilarious, and i asked him "Pray pls tell me, what and how could i possibly be adding to thy roster?" He had the gall to say, 'a different flavor'. At least he was honest, and probably thought, i had the sophistication to handle it. I gave him my signature laughter, and he knew he had lost me. I don't claim that i always got things right, because there were occasions when i faltered, and missed the mark. But, i consider myself a good student of life. I've seen too many women destroyed by their lack of moral compass, self-respect and because of materialism. Coveting is blatant, promoted, and all over the place. Sadly, some cultures have come to accept certain behaviors, and there is no longer any stigma to say, being a mistress or having mistresses.
But, what is it that we covet, and desire what we don’t have,or, what belongs to someone else? What is it that makes us think, "if I only get what they have, I’ll be happy". The millionaire is no longer content being a millionaire and the billionaire isn’t content being a billionaire. The poor who covet and never have, are also never content when they get what they want. The more we get, the more we want. It's like drugs, we have this want for more and for bigger fixes. We live in a world that revolves around marketing schemes, 24/7, with billions of dollars spent, for the purpose of making us feel unhappy with what we have or don't have. The whole conundrum by which it works is to make us dissatisfied with who we are, how we look, where we live, and the very state of our being. The not so subtle goal is to make us miserable to the point, we give in, to make a purchase, or 'steal' someone's toy and property. So many succumb and then find out that the ‘happiness’ they bought into was shallow, if not, empty. It’s all short lived and next thing we know, we're back in the vicious cycle and begin to want something else.
I found this interesting poem. I wish i knew who had written it. It talks about the human nature, and our discontent.
It was spring, but it was summer I wanted.
The warm days and great doors. It was summer. But it was fall I wanted.
The colorful leaves and cool dry air. It was fall. Ah, but it was winter I wanted.
The beautiful snow and the joy of the holiday season. It was winter. But all in it, it was spring I wanted.
The warm blossoming of nature. I was a child. But it was adulthood I wanted.
The freedom and respect. I was 20, but it was 30 I wanted.
To be mature and sophisticated. I was middle age. Ah, but it was 20 I wanted.
The youth and the free spirit. I was retired, ah, but it was middle age I wanted.
The presence of mind without limitation. My life is over and I never got what I wanted.