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The Unspoken Language of Women

Updated on September 9, 2014
Image from My10Online. Enigma. (2014). Rethinking Girl Talk.
Image from My10Online. Enigma. (2014). Rethinking Girl Talk. | Source

The Unspoken Language of Women

Whether you agree or not, men and women communicate on completely different levels. Has this not been manifested by John Gray’s Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus book series? More and more, it has become a pet peeve of mine, the way women speak in what I like to call parables. Why can’t anyone be straight up anymore? I don’t know if it’s the region of the globe I currently live in, or if I just only noticed it up until this part of my life, but it’s becoming more and more annoying to me.

I suppose women aren’t blunt because society has molded them not to be, but to remain prim and proper and polite. They don’t want to come off as rude or appear to be throwing themselves at someone, so they subtley hint around what they truly want to say with ambiguous language that one will have to read between the lines to understand. Please, Stop it! It’s a new era, so can we all agree to just say what’s really on our minds? How come they didn’t tie that into the feminist movement? I mean, afterall, men state exactly what they mean. My husband tells me all the time, "I say what I mean and mean what I say," without being suggestive or leaving one clueless, to determine the meaning behind the words. I get that sometimes saying nothing at all, says a lot, but to say something that can not be easily inferred just escapes me.

To give you examples of just what I mean, and I hate to put people’s personal business out there, so I will leave names out of this, but I recently asked someone, who I will call Cousin Kizzy, the following question, in a conversation that went like this:

Me: Do you have plans on Sunday?

Of course some might be hesitant to answer this question without further details, because maybe they don’t want to come off as rude by saying yes, or miss out on a better option if they do have plans, so what would you reply? Is the simple truth too much for this "yes" or "no" question? If so, why not respond, "It depends…What’s up?"

Cousin Kizzy: "No."

Me: "In that case do you want to get the family together on Sunday for a Barbeque?"

It’s a straight forward question, a yes or no question I would think… but why I get a reply like the below for interpretation, I know not, what’s wrong with being honest ladies?

Cousin Kizzy: "If you want to, but Uncle Tony’s car is in the shop, Sharon might have to work, Cecil and I aren’t on speaking terms and I don’t know what Grandma Jane is doing."

At this point I’m speechless… what am I to interpret from this? Is this a no go? Am I to pick up the puzzle pieces, offer Uncle Tony and his wife and kids a ride? I mean…what does this mean?

As for another example of the unspoken language of women, I recently signed up my husband on a website, I won’t mention the name, but it allows members to network with other entrepreneurs locally, so I thought it’d be excellent for him and his web design/development business. So I created an account for him, meaning I have full access to the account, and can see any incoming mail, etc, since I consider myself a part of his business, by getting him more business in instances I can. So he happened to receive a response, that admittedly came out of nowhere, since I hadn’t reached out to anyone that would yeild a response and he hasn’t even so much as logged in (let alone probably doesn’t remember the password as busy as he is). The response came from a woman, who stated the following, "Cool, I can use the help, call me when you get a chance late pms are best for me around 9:30pm ###-###-####" (with her phone number listed after).

So, first of all not to mistake pms for pre-menstrual syndrome in the above statement, it should be p.m.’s. Why it started out like they had a prior conversation is anyone’s guess, and is she for real about getting web development help or is she throwing herself at him, subtely, disguising a business ploy, with the subtle hint of "late pms..around 9:30pm" and dropping those digits like a bad habit, and stating "call me when you get a chance"? I’ll admit the picture I posted of my husband was his GQ pose, which I felt presented a professional (and sexy) disposition, but my god…

Why ladies, do we have to read in between the lines with the statements you make? This isn’t true for all women, no doubt, because I wouldn’t be so annoyed that I felt moved to write an article about it, but for those who are guilty as accused, what’s wrong with keeping it real? Stop camoflauging your words and speak the truth, state how you really feel, please!

Image from View Naija. (2011). Ladies,Here Are Some Amazing Flirting Tips That Works Magic. Website:
Image from View Naija. (2011). Ladies,Here Are Some Amazing Flirting Tips That Works Magic. Website: | Source

What do you think? Does the unspoken language of women really exist?

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    • LouCannon profile image

      Amanda Louise Cannon 3 years ago from Wynndel BC Canada

      Before I met my husband I was so sick of the different communication skills of men on the roam... I just didn't understand them!!! -- Then I found my perfect partner, a man who spoke like a woman

    • dashingscorpio profile image

      dashingscorpio 3 years ago

      Unlike a lot of people I have learned to accept the fact that there are real differences between the genders. In fact I believe one of the main causes of arguments and animosity between the sexes occurs when they (expect) the other gender to think, express, and feel as they do.

      With regard to the email I believe there are two possibilities. The first is that woman is escort or "working girl" looking to drum up business. Very few women are quick to give out their phone number without having had a single verbal or written exchange.

      The other option is she sincerely is interested in getting to know him and potentially date him. Neither of these have anything to do with web design business or networking.