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The User in Others

Updated on November 8, 2016
DDE profile image

I learned about making sheep's wool during my stay in South Africa. An interesting process to oversee.

Envy and Jealousy

I don't  hurt anyone back I let it be
I don't hurt anyone back I let it be | Source
I enjoy learning everday
I enjoy learning everday | Source
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Kindness is next to the heart
Kindness is next to the heart | Source
Appreciate time with family instead of negative people
Appreciate time with family instead of negative people | Source

People Use others When at the Lowest

We invited a couple to supper and thought how nice it would be to have them over to our place.

Together we could have a lovely evening of laughs and conversations.

I thought it would be as i had wanted.

The Invitation to supper was at seven we decided to call them a bit earlier when I telephoned them to come half an hour earlier I was surprised to hear their response.

The woman asked me,'' is the supper ready to eat.''

I did not expect her to ask me that question it kind of put me off seeing them that evening. I was taken aback.

How could she had asked me ''if the supper was ready,'' when we invited them to a meal as friendly request?

I was hoping to get to know each other and have a general conversation and to be more sociable.

I realized then that not many people around our community prefer a social gathering.

If invited to a meal they would turn up late or arrive on time to eat and then eave within half hour after eating.

  • I was disappointed in having their company.

They arrived fifteen minutes earlier and she insisted to eat right away than expected.

''I am very hungry from not eating all day, as I looked forward to eating here,'' she said.

It is so typical of them they look forward to being invited to the other person’s home and won't eat until they get to that meal.

I knew of her behaving like that from another event and I did not expect her to be the same with us.

I did not believe she had behaved that way after working it all out from the previous visits I learned more these people.

  • Would you give a second invitation to people who behave in this manner?

I would not invite them again to a meal at my home they are not worth of my time and all my effort.

I was excited to prepare a meal and to make that evening nice and welcoming.

When they showed their true characters in my face I lost interest in socializing with such people.

I don't think it is right for me or anyone for that matter to feel so used by their actions.

I felt she was rude and disrespectful, especially in demanding to eat right away.

  • Have you ever had such an experience?

I wanted to be friends neighborly and to have a social gathering, to be able to communicate and understand one another. The focus here was just to come to us to eat and rush off back home.

I felt I was taken advantage of even though I invited them to supper it felt different.

If I was invited to supper I would be polite and wait for the time to eat and would not be rude at any time. I know how to interact with others.

In this case they were not interested in a social gathering just about what was on the menu.

Our conversations were brief and they watched television.

  • Do you think they are users?

The negative side of them shows fear and less motivation, instead of us forming a good meaningful friendship all we have with them is a, hello and a good-bye.

I try to be with people who see situations like I do I used to have a list of people now I don't have that long list anymore. No list and no problems.

I have already chosen my good friends and my choices made will remain.

People are different around the world and are from different cultures they speak different languages and think for themselves.

I do what I like and they do what they feel is more of interest to them.

The problem arises when you are faced with such rude people. It is difficult to completely give them the pushover.

They live close by and the small community is often a close-net neighborhood.

I have chosen to keep away from those people and to just live my independent life without the thoughts of negative people.

I have moved on without hoping something will come of any friendships with such users.

It is usually about helping and taking from one other and everything goes hand-in-hand.

They certainly know how to ask for favors and do make sure the favor is returned.

If I helped someone in need there is no way I would want something in return.

Just doing it from the heart is pleasing and would make me feel happiest to see others smile.

I now look at them as weak minded and with less control.

They enjoy using people for what they can offer.

They don't feel the hurt or disappointment from others.

I learned that their envy shows in their actions toward us.

People in this kind of life enjoy taking advantage of others.

They have tried on numerous occasions to use us for something I did not give them the pleasure in doing so.

The lack of control shows in their poor behavior.

She does not dress neatly when going to the store or out to any event.

A woman who chooses to lack her appearance when going out and blames it on her earnings.

There is no reason for her not to have the good life. She chose to live the poor standard of life. An individual who looks for a handout.

Often she would come by only if she needs something for example, she came by a few days ago to ask for some good planting soil. She was talking very sweetly so to have that soil. However, that did not bother me.

I insisted she help herself to it and that she can always have it when needed.

I don't see good characters in such people.

Her negative outlook on life annoys me. I ignore her boring and negative conversations.

  • Inferiority

She believes her life is poor and the lack of money makes her worthless. Her inferiority has made her arrogant and a user.

I have come across many people in my life especially, over the last twelve years and still I am learning more and more daily.

A while back they had popped by at our place unannounced but mainly when we had our barbecues.

I did not like it and if it happened once or twice then no problems. This has happened more than just twice. One evening we invited them for a few drinks instead they came by for supper it was such an inconvenience.

I planned a meal for the three of us on that day and they turned up for more than just drinks it spoiled my evening.

The barbecue had to be rushed and we had to make do with what we had to eat.

  • I could not believe these people could behave this way.

I learn each day and know more each day about my friends, my ''so-called'' friends and about the people who live in my neighborhood.

I don't care for such people. it is not worthy for me to spend my precious time talking and trying to be something I am not.

I don't pretend to be friends with someone when I am not it is something I would can't do.

I am not a people pleaser, I do what I know is good for me and what is worth my time and efforts.

People who behave in that way are not the kind I would want to socialize with at anytime.

Now I see and know who my true friends really are and from this experience I have more of a free mind.

Don't let People use you for their benefits

People use each other all the time

Have you ever had such an experience?

See results

Don't be the victim of a user

Appreciate time with family instead of negative people
Appreciate time with family instead of negative people | Source

© 2014 Devika Primić

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    • billybuc profile image

      Bill Holland 3 years ago from Olympia, WA

      I have known several users during my life...I know a couple now....and I have no time for any of them. I hang out with the givers in life...much more enjoyable.

    • kidscrafts profile image

      kidscrafts 3 years ago from Ottawa, Canada

      I friendship with people who suck energy out of you is not a friendship it becomes slavery. I prefer good friends with mutuel respect; it's way more fun that way. We are not true to ourself when we accept false friendship. Those people rob our time and our energy! I have knowed a few of those and it's not a pleasant feeling!

      Have a great weekend, Devika!

    • ologsinquito profile image

      ologsinquito 3 years ago from USA

      There are all types of people and the world is filled with many really nice people, so there is no need of forming friendships with those who don't appreciate all the effort you went through to prepare a nice dinner. I bet you're also a fantastic cook. :)

    • MsDora profile image

      Dora Isaac Weithers 3 years ago from The Caribbean

      Devika, what if the lady you invited to dinner should read your article? I'm scared of that,but you do make good points.

    • Ericdierker profile image

      Eric Dierker 3 years ago from Spring Valley, CA. U.S.A.

      Devika, my friend. I come from a land of hugs and constant politeness and thank you and pleases. My wife comes from a land of constant "no" and "where is the food?" It is a constant tension as she calls me insincere and I call her rude.

      Totally at odd cultures. Perhaps theirs is more sincere than mine or maybe not. "hurry up and get to the food" is just how they act. It works if you let it.

    • DDE profile image
      Author

      Devika Primić 3 years ago from Dubrovnik, Croatia

      billbuc thank you

    • DDE profile image
      Author

      Devika Primić 3 years ago from Dubrovnik, Croatia

      kidscrafts thank you very much for stopping by

    • DDE profile image
      Author

      Devika Primić 3 years ago from Dubrovnik, Croatia

      ologsinquito thank you for the kind words and I do try m best to make good meal I enjoy spicy foods and interesting foods with different kinds of spices.

    • DDE profile image
      Author

      Devika Primić 3 years ago from Dubrovnik, Croatia

      MsDora so right but she does not speak English or know any I am free to write what I experience well mentioned thank you for commenting

    • DDE profile image
      Author

      Devika Primić 3 years ago from Dubrovnik, Croatia

      Ericdierker interesting different cultures think different thank you

    • Eiddwen profile image

      Eiddwen 3 years ago from Wales

      A great read which leaves much food for thought DDE.

      Eddy.

    • tobusiness profile image

      Jo Alexis-Hagues 3 years ago from Bedfordshire, U.K

      Devika, some people can be very thoughtless, sometimes it has a lot to do with the culture but there are times when it is rude, plain and simple. There is one member of my family who is a prime example, unfortunately I'm stuck with her. Thank God we can choose our friends. :) Though-provoking and interesting. Well done.

    • grand old lady profile image

      Mona Sabalones Gonzalez 3 years ago from Philippines

      Some users are very obvious, other users are subtle, very PC but users nonetheless. You have described one horrific human being. It amazes me how an experience like yours is actually commonplace no matter where you are in the world.

    • FlourishAnyway profile image

      FlourishAnyway 3 years ago from USA

      What they did is called "eat and run," and it is rude, although maybe it is a cultural issue? What makes me wonder is your reference to people not inviting one another to dine in their homes often. Either way, I would not concern myself with inviting them back. Some people do not comprehend how to interact in polite society. My mother has very nice neighbors from a different culture who are extremely forward when asking her favors. She has come to realize they are users but also they just do not understand American cultural expectations. Live and learn.

    • DDE profile image
      Author

      Devika Primić 3 years ago from Dubrovnik, Croatia

      Eiddwen thank you for stopping by

    • DDE profile image
      Author

      Devika Primić 3 years ago from Dubrovnik, Croatia

      tobusiness so right ''Thank God we can choose our friends. :)'' thank you

    • DDE profile image
      Author

      Devika Primić 3 years ago from Dubrovnik, Croatia

      grand old lady that is very true a commonplace and a small community and no matter where you are in the world.'' thank you for stopping by.

    • DDE profile image
      Author

      Devika Primić 3 years ago from Dubrovnik, Croatia

      FlourishAnyway true friends are rare to find and a simple dinner can explain it all thank you very much for commenting on my hubs.

    • jtrader profile image

      jtrader 3 years ago

      Good topic. This is a common experience, although it may not come in exactly that form. At least you found out who they were early. Voted up and useful!

    • DDE profile image
      Author

      Devika Primić 3 years ago from Dubrovnik, Croatia

      jtrader thank you for the vote up and useful you kindness is greatly appreciated.

    • LouCannon profile image

      Amanda Louise Cannon 2 years ago from Wynndel BC Canada

      Nice hub! I look forward to reading more from you!!

    • DDE profile image
      Author

      Devika Primić 2 years ago from Dubrovnik, Croatia

      Hi LouCannon thank you very much for stopping by.

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