- Gender and Relationships
The User in Others
People Use others When at the Lowest
We invited a couple to supper and thought how nice it would be to have them over to our place.
Together we could have a lovely evening of laughs and conversations.
I thought it would be as I had wanted.
The Invitation to supper was at seven we decided to call them a bit earlier when I telephoned them to come half an hour earlier I was surprised to hear their response.
The woman asked me,'' is the supper ready to eat.''
I did not expect her to ask me that question it kind of put me off seeing them that evening. I was taken aback.
How could she had asked me ''if the supper was ready,'' when we invited them to a meal as the friend request?
I was hoping to get to know each other and have a general conversation and to be more sociable.
I realized then that not many people around our community prefer a social gathering.
If invited to a meal they would turn up late or arrive on time to eat and then eave within the half hour after eating.
I was disappointed in having their company.
They arrived fifteen minutes earlier and she insisted to eat right away than expected.
''I am very hungry from not eating all day, as I looked forward to eating here,'' she said.
It is so typical of them they look forward to being invited to the other person’s home and won't eat until they get to that meal.
I knew of her behaving like that from another event and I did not expect her to be the same with us.
I did not believe she had behaved that way after working it all out from the previous visits I learned more these people.
Would you give a second invitation to people who behave in this manner?
I would not invite them again to a meal at my home they are not worthy of my time and all my effort.
I was excited to prepare a meal and to make that evening nice and welcoming.
When they showed their true characters in my face I lost interest in socializing with such people.
I don't think it is right for me or anyone for that matter to feel so used by their actions.
I felt she was rude and disrespectful, especially in demanding to eat right away.
Have you ever had such an experience?
I wanted to be friends neighborly and to have a social gathering, to be able to communicate and understand one another.
The focus here was just to come to us to eat and rush off back home.
I felt I was taken advantage of even though I invited them to supper it felt different.
If I was invited to supper I would be polite and wait for the time to eat and would not be rude at any time. I know how to interact with others.
In this case, they were not interested in a social gathering just about what was on the menu.
Our conversations were brief and they watched television.
Do you think they are users?
The negative side of them shows fear and less motivation, instead of us forming a good meaningful friendship all we have with them is a, hello and a good-bye.
I try to be with people who see situations like I do I used to have a list of people now I don't have that long list anymore. No list and no problems.
I have already chosen my good friends and my choices made will remain.
People are different around the world and are from different cultures they speak different languages and think for themselves.
I do what I like and they do what they feel is more of interest to them.
The problem arises when you are faced with such rude people. It is difficult to completely give them the pushover.
They live close by and the small community is often a close-net neighborhood.
I have chosen to keep away from those people and to just live my independent life without the thoughts of negative people.
I have moved on without hoping something will come of any friendships with such users.
It is usually about helping and taking from one other and everything goes hand-in-hand.
They certainly know how to ask for favors and do make sure the favor is returned.
If I helped someone in need there is no way I would want something in return.
Just doing it from the heart is pleasing and would make me feel happiest to see others smile.
I now look at them as weak minded and with less control.
They enjoy using people for what they can offer.
They don't feel the hurt or disappointment from others.
I learned that their envy shows in their actions toward us.
People in this kind of life enjoy taking advantage of others.
They have tried on numerous occasions to use us for something I did not give them the pleasure of doing so.
The lack of control shows in their poor behavior.
She does not dress neatly when going to the store or out to any event.
A woman who chooses to lack her appearance when going out and blames it on her earnings.
There is no reason for her not to have a good life. She chose to live the poor standard of life. An individual who looks for a handout.
Often she would come by only if she needs something, for example, she came by a few days ago to ask for some good planting soil.
She was talking very sweetly so to have that soil. However, that did not bother me.
I insisted she help herself to it and that she can always have it when needed.
I don't see good characters in such people.
Her negative outlook on life annoys me. I ignore her boring and negative conversations.
She believes her life is poor and the lack of money makes her worthless. Her inferiority has made her arrogant and a user.
I have come across many people in my life especially, over the last twelve years and still, I am learning more and more daily.
A while back they had popped by at our place unannounced but mainly when we had our barbecues.
I did not like it and if it happened once or twice then no problems. This has happened more than just twice. One evening we invited them for a few drinks instead they came by for supper it was such an inconvenience.
I planned a meal for the three of us on that day and they turned up for more than just drinks it spoiled my evening.
The barbecue had to be rushed and we had to make do with what we had to eat.
I could not believe these people could behave this way.
I learn each day and know more each day about my friends, my ''so-called'' friends and about the people who live in my neighborhood.
I don't care for such people. it is not worthy for me to spend my precious time talking and trying to be something I am not.
I don't pretend to be friends with someone when I am not it is something I would can't do.
I am not a people pleaser, I do what I know is good for me and what is worth my time and efforts.
People who behave in that way are not the kind I would want to socialize with at any time.
Now I see and know who my true friends really are and from this experience, I have more of a free mind.
Envy and Jealousy
Don't let People use you for their benefits
People use each other all the time
Have you ever had such an experience?
© 2014 Devika Primić