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The Worst Wedding

Updated on July 31, 2017


I've been to my share of weddings. The worst are held at 'all inclusives'. Instead of the Bride and Groom thinking about the wedding, they have to know...

1. What time they have to be on spot

2. When they have to leave that spot

3. Which restaurant they are to use

4. The penalties for not hitting the spot at the exact time and not leaving

Hence, these 'conveyor belt' weddings are more 'mass produced' then special. And only those who've lived together forever and are getting married because the wife is preggers or for some other reason, so that the ceremony is as significant to them as lining up to buy tickets to a football match can they 'work'.

Other than that, it's a waste of money, it spoils your 'Big Day'.

The First Mistake.

The Bride to be was petulant;
she wanted her wedding the way she wanted her wedding.

She had no real ideas save that it would be at an all Inclusive Hotel in Jamaica.

The fact she lived in Florida, her family and his family lived in Florida,
meant everyone would make an airline and a Hotel rich.

As most people don't have the kind of money to hop on a plane and overnight
at a Hotel in Jamaica during September, (prime hurricane season) she got her
'guest list' down to twelve people.

These were not the 'right' twelve, as her best friend and her two brothers
would not be able to come.

Her mother tried to reason with her,but she 'wanted her wedding the way she wanted her wedding', so her own mother 'didn't have to come'. if it was going to be a problem.

As you can see, the wedding planning started on a rather bad footing.

A word About All Inclusives

There are "All Inclusive Hotels" which seem, to the ignorant, to be great deals. Book everything in your home country, then fly down, and relax.

These hotels handle a lot of weddings. They have them precisely slotted. This is a key factor at those 'All Inclusives.'

Think of a conveyor belt; everything timed;

Wedding Party 1 must be at Point A no later than 10 am and leave for Point B no later than 10:20 so that Wedding Party 2 can be at Point A no later than 10:30 and leave no later than 10:50 so that Wedding Party 3 can be at Point A at 11 am; on and on all day.

One after another.

Now this is a wedding.

This is supposed to be the most significant day of one's life.
It should not be a 'conveyor belt' .

If you are thinking of having your wedding at one of these 'Wedding Mills' think again. It is wiser, cheaper, and more rewarding to find a guest house in Jamaica which has very few activities, and where your wedding can take over the entire property all day.

There are many of these little hotel types which don't cost that much, and should be canvassed before wasting those thousands on a conveyor belt.

At all inclusives if Group A has booked this Restaurant, and Group B has booked that one, you will likely find your wedding party at the Tex-Mex corner.

This is not a joke. This is what happened at the Wedding I write about. The wedding 'dinner' was at a horrible fast food Tex-Mex place which made a guest physically sick.

However, that the food was going to be pretty bad, and the Bride knew it in advance, did not impact on her.

She had her wedding the way she wanted it and while the guests choked and puked, she was busy taking pictures. She must of taken a thousand pictures. Long after the ceremony was over she was taking pictures.

During this period, the guests amused themselves.

The Third Mistake

After taking the photographs,
the Bride now decided to greet
her guests, but was stopped
by a very large bill for the

She was told that only 50 pictures
came in her package.

Of course, this is After the pictures were taken.

The Bride had to run up to the room for her purse, and between her and her
mother-in-law, had to pay for the photographs NOW.

Her mother, of course, was fat in her 'I told you so'.

The Bride couldn't blame her mother for spoiling her wedding. After all, she had it as she had wanted.

While the Bride and his mom were upstairs, the groom was drinking by the bar, not knowing what he was supposed to be doing.

He and his father were quite nauseous from the food. And were trying to settle their stomachs and/or get drunk.

How It Should have been

Getting married should be the best party you ever had. Everyone should be there.
From your First Grade teacher to Great Aunt Helen. Everyone should mingle, be comfortable, and there should be no time limits.

The ceremony should mean something, not be a pre-packaged one. Photographs should be candid or near shots, not staged and disruptive.

The Bride and Groom should mingle with their guests, there should be a lot of memories and poignant moments treasured.

It is better to have a wedding in a backyard where everyone can come, then in an exotic location where the hotel stops guests from entering unless an exorbitant sum is paid.

The food doesn't have to be expensive, and if it runs out, it runs out, because
the point is not a free lunch, the point is that you want everyone to witness this big day.

This is a 'family' affair, where mothers and mothers in law should be brought in,
not pushed out.

Those of you who dream of these 'all inclusive' hotel weddings, FORGET IT!
Find a Hotel where your's is the ONLY Wedding happening that day.

Your Wedding should be all that is happening. And it is not as expensive or difficult to find a Hotel, even in Jamaica, which has nothing booked for the day of YOUR wedding.

You can, even without a wedding planner, but with FAMILY member drafted for the
purpose find a fantastic place which will twist itself into a pretzel to please you.

Your wedding should Not be part of the conveyor belt process followed
by these Hotels.

It is far too important a day to be subject to rules, regulations, time limits
and head tax.

Yes, She had the worst wedding but a trailer load of photographs no one looks at.


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    • qeyler profile image

      qeyler 3 years ago

      I am from the island of Jamaica. We have a 'wedding mill' here which is so distasteful, yet people come from all over the world to waste thousands of dollars.

    • qeyler profile image

      qeyler 3 years ago

      Further a wedding like this doesn't 'feel' like a wedding. It feels like a rehearsal for a wedding.

    • Say Yes To Life profile image

      Yoleen Lucas 3 years ago from Big Island of Hawaii

      Thanks for these good points! Also, a wedding should not put the newlyweds into debt. Finances are the #1 reason couples fight; let's not start our new lives in a war zone!