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- Relationship Problems & Advice
The art of learning something new
Welcome readers, have you ever felt just so tired of trying when it comes to your relationship? Have you ever felt like walking away wasn't enough because the pull this person has on you is too strong? Well if you have this article is for you! Sometimes when it comes to relationships you have your do's and don't's. Most of these are UNSPOKEN rules and is a mutual agreement between the two of you. Although when someone you love crosses you, your left with what do I do next? Do you bend? Do you try to talk to it out? Do you cut your losses and move on? Well honestly no matter who you talk too the answer will be different. The only voice that matters is the two of you right? So here is some advice on what you could do. Just for the record I am not a medical professional and my advice shouldn't be taken over a professional. My advice comes from experience, opinion based, basic phycology, behavioral phycology and human nature. With that being said lets get into it shall we?
The first thing you must ask yourself is what do you really need? Not what you really want, simply because what you need is something your not willing to go without. Once you understand what you really need from someone then ask yourself how much of what you need do they actually provide for you? If your match up doesn't even meet the HALF way point you have a serious problem. This problem is deeper than those issues on the surface. If they do meet half or more then you need to acknowledge that. Then give them room to grow. Now as I said if half of your needs aren't being met than you need to ask yourself is this person really worth my time? Have I effectively communicated my needs? Have I given them a fair chance to meet my needs by providing half of theirs? Sometimes the main issue isn't what was or wasn't done between the two of you. The problem is do you really match each others needs?
Communication, Loyality, Honesty, and Respect.
Now we all have heard that communication is the big key in any relationship you have with anyone. Although we often forget the other THREE big keys in any relationship you have. Those are honesty, loyality and respect. If you are missing any of these keys in your relationship you are headed for doom. Seriously, who wants to be someone that doesn't communicate, isn't loyal, is consistently dishonest, and overall doesn't respect you? Obviously that is the way to doom any relationship. When it comes to personal relationships these keys are not optional, they are mandatory. Communication isn't easy for anyone, yes gentleman even females have a hard time communicating their feelings. Simply because alot of things get in the way like pride, morals and values, or just being a cry baby. Although if you want to be happy with anyone you better learn how to communicate your feeling very quickly. Nobody is able to understand your pain if you don't share it. Nobody is going to fix something they don't know is broken. Now next is loyality. Loyality is not something that is optional. You both have to be loyal to each other if you want to have a happy relationship. If your both always headed out the door to someone else..then who are you really in a relationship with? Loyality just means that your not going to rush into the arms of someone else the minute your partner turns around. It means that your not out to destory each other. Loyality is a major key in a successful long term relationship. Now honesty, well we all know lying is bad. Although lying is a part of human nature. Like it or not your partner is going to lie too you sometimes. Simply because they are trying to spare you some problems. Now honesty is not about never lying it is about how othen and what for. If your being dishonest about everything including how you feel that is problematic. Lastly but most importantly respect. You have to respect each other. If you don't respect the person your with than nothing will be off limits for you. Which means your headed right for doom. Now respect is about being able to stand together, its about saying no to things for the greater good of your relationship, and its about value. You need to understand and respect what your partner does or did for you enough to never cross into disrespect. Nobody wants to be disrespected. That is not acceptable, sometimes you will have to give up people, family, friends because your partner sees something you don't. That is when you need to respect your partner and take their word for it because they honestly want the best for you.
My favorite love song
Love means change
My last point here is this love means change. When you love someone it isn't about JUST you anymore. It is about both of you. Your a team. That means your going to have to change. Your going to have to accept things even if you don't like it. You have to forgive. Now when it comes to love it isn't easy. It isn't logical! It is never going to make sense because love doesn't follow a code. It is a feeling and most strong feelings are ill-logical ones. With that being said, love can be very foolish. It can be blind. It is a risk but the best part is that when two people love each other they always make it work somehow. If your not open to change then love will be hard for you because love is always changing. It is either getting deeper or it is crossing over to HATE. Now we all have heard the saying before love and hate have a fine line between the two. Simply because you almost can't say you love someone if you haven't really hated them before. Why is that? Well when you love someone strongly they become almost perfect in YOUR eyes and when they do something stupid you get very angry. It easily can cross into a serious hate. Although both are super passionate. Both mean strong feelings for someone. So my point is love is about change so don't fight it just go for it.
Speak on it it!
Which one of the FOUR keys can you accept if your partner broke?
Now I must go backwards again very quickly, when you communicate with the person you love you have to be willing to listen. If your screaming every second then your not listening. You can't communicate effectively if your always in defense mode or attack mode. Communication means open, and honest exchange of feelings and ideas. It is okay to say I'M not ready to communicate and walk away. Sometimes we need to take a break or space to clear our minds. To get back to those romantic feelings. To be able to remember the good times. Most importantly to appreciate each other again. What you do when you take space should really let you know if you have the FOUR keys to a successful relationship and if it can be saved. If while your on break with someone and they are out their screwing every person on site you can just bet that your issues are respect, loyality and honesty. Thats at least three out four major problems. You might want to reconsider that relationship. Even two out of four is hard to fix but if your failing in more than half that might not be worth fixing. Now when your on a break if the person is out on social media or social events every possible chance. You can bet that your major issue is communication PROVIDED that person isn't screwing someone else. The great thing about these keys are communication is the easiest to fix. Simply because all you need to do is talk. Respect comes in second because that can be fixed with time and communication. Loyality is hard because that balls into trust. If you broken loyality then that means trust and that is almost impossible to work back up. ALMOST, it just takes a lot of everything. Honesty is last and the most hardest. Why? Because when someone believes you are a dishonest person they will find everything you do and say hard to believe it comes from an honest place. They feel you are out to play everyone for your own needs. Dishonesty is a very hard fix because getting someone to believe you after you have been dishonest is like asking someone to trust a lier. Or patterned killer. While expecting them to be completely changed. Almost impossible. So with that being said take a close look at your relationship and if it can be fixed then fix it. Until next time readers ciao.