- Gender and Relationships»
- Relationship Problems & Advice
The dilemma about keeping love, marriage, friendship, trust, and being honest.
Honesty and, trust are the key ingredients in any strong and dependable relationship. It is why honest and, trust is very important in any marriage, and friendship which is found on true love. It is also the tool lovers use to keep love alive. That is marriage, and friendship do better when it is built on trust and it is known that being honest is a vital component of building trust. It is for this reason that there is always problem when there is lack of trust in a relationship or marriage.
It is a fact that one has to trust one’s life partner in marriage. That is why most happily married couples have little or no secrets. Some lovers usually get disappointed whenever they find out that their husband, wife, or friend kept a secret from them. The question is why should that be the case? Some lovers think if their partner hides a secret from them, it shows that their partner do not love them enough or trust them enough to share everything with them. Then again, we ask, is that the case? Must we share all secrets with our loved ones? Must we let them know everything just for the simple fact that we love them so such much?
Let us assume that you are a member of an executive council in Government and it is part of your responsibility to serve the people as you promised before taking over office. Then assuming that the council had a meeting and agreed on what the Government would do but it was not to be made known to anyone until the right time, if need be. Will you reveal such discussions/plans to your partner just for the sake of love or so that he/she won’t be annoyed to know that you kept it a secret? Then again, let us assume that you are a marriage counselor or something of that sort and someone revealed his or her personal secret to you and the person did that after you promised not to reveal it to anyone, will you reveal it to your partner for the sake of love?
Someone told a story on how he would not tell his wife what was discussed in a senate meeting until she heard it when it was implemented and she would ask him, "you know it all this while but you did not tell?" He would reply, "I am supposed to tell." He said that she loved him for that and their marriage has lasted for over forty years. It follows that some partners can even develop more love and trust when they know that their partner has the courage to remain honest at all cost. For instance, if you promised someone to keep a secret then you will be breaking the promise by sharing it with your partner and that will mean that you are not dependable. Therefore, it becomes important for us to know when to make such promises and it is also important for partners to understand that integrity is not only measured by our dealings with our partners alone but in all things do with our fellow man.
Lastly, we do agree that there are situations when we may find our self in a dilemma about keeping trust, and being honest. Some lovers also keep secrets because they do not want to hurt their partner by telling the truth. This is usually in situations when a partner made a shameful mistake and is not brave enough to open up. The main point in this article is for lovers to understand that the integrity of a man should count in all his dealing with his fellow man and so there is the need to remain honest, and be trusted by others. Whatever, may be the case, there may come a time when our integrity will be tested by love, marriage, and friendship. That is the stage few men maintain their stand because it is a dilemma, to some men.