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The end of an affair

Updated on February 16, 2013

Closing the windows into the past

Got a picture of you I carry in my heart,

desires of another kept us apart:

never to win this game, a love lost nothing to gain.

The first step you take is the longest stride,

memories even cloudy are difficult to hide;

one more day one more time,

your love was never really mine.

I’d never win this game, I was vain to wish

I could ride a drop of rain;

depending on a prayer,

bullets flying through the air,

How could you think I

didn’t care.

Imitating king kong beating on my chest, hoping for the best,

Being a hero; standing in the hall of fame,

wishing we’d never played

this game.

Closing windows and never looking back,

reflections of love, twisted and dark as that;

which is always hard to hold, growing cold,

cloudy memories I carry in my soul.

Her best days were my worst nights,

I longed to see you out in the moonlight;

I didn’t ask for money or a house in Malibu

but a lifetime of love, I must look like a fool.

Easy come easy go, there’s a few things you need to know,

All I ever wanted all I ever needed was a man to call my own.

Always hard to hold;

promises of growing old.

I got time she got freedom of the hand you’d never fold.

Tomorrows too late and yesterday’s in the past, It’s too late to apologize

for the things I knew couldn’t last;

Waiting on a woman you never really knew,

a knock on the door, cloths on the floor,

leaving one heart thats yearning for more.

Words unspoken, fears untold, How can you blame me for feeling so bold,

walking away from what was never mine, trying to read between the line;

drawn in the dust by your own finger, worry and fear they still linger.

You took it all but, you never really knew the girl that was in love with you,

at times she drank wine like a sailer, played pool with the guys, never felt like a failure;

for not falling into her lovers arms,

or leaving his side with all his charm

If you’d have asked how I’m doing years gone past, had things been different, we may have last.

This message is simple and perfectly clear, our choices were made on lies and fear.

Tormented by dreams that belonged not to me, of a home you had built around your heart, don’t you see?;

The one that had been built all those years before until our love shattered through it’s front door.

Taking what I wanted and leaving the rest, I really did try my best; to love you the way you loved me,

With eyes wide open I won’t soon forget, I’m sorry for causing you such regret.


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    • wildove5 profile image

      wildove5 4 years ago from Cumberland, R.I.

      Philly, you can email me at

    • PHILLYDREAMER profile image

      Jose Velasquez 4 years ago from Lodi, New Jersey

      I know this story well, I lived it and I'll never do it again. To think that person will never know all the passion you must of felt. What an idiot? On an unrelated note, are you still interested in helping with that poetry show I was talking about. If you have a Facebook or some way for me to message you, please let me know.

    • gaplumber profile image

      gaplumber 4 years ago

      Ah, hence the walls, reading it again love, still need to write gap fillers or maybe you'll beat me to it!

    • wildove5 profile image

      wildove5 4 years ago from Cumberland, R.I.

      Ga, heading over now!

    • wildove5 profile image

      wildove5 4 years ago from Cumberland, R.I.

      " Gap fillers." I like that!

    • gaplumber profile image

      gaplumber 4 years ago

      Check out "Connected", going to post now.

    • gaplumber profile image

      gaplumber 4 years ago

      Hmm, first I want to say the old, better to love and lost than never love at all, but what I really think in some situations as these is, sometimes we are "gap fillers". Been thinking about writing Gapfillers. Maybe now. Parallel souls you and I.

    • wildove5 profile image

      wildove5 4 years ago from Cumberland, R.I.

      Epigramman, coming from you, the greatest poet I know on hubpages, I am totally humbled by your kind words, thank you, thank you, thank you.

      Bundeling up here in Rhode Island awaiting yet another winter storm. Warm wishes to you my friend.

    • epigramman profile image

      epigramman 4 years ago

      Lovely lovely lovely writing here - that's three 'lovelys' by the way .

      I heard beautiful sad music while reading this one and visualized a movie in my mind as well ..... that's what great writers can do to you - and you certainly are the star here on this marquee.

      Listening to Joe Williams and the Count Basie Band (loud) at lake erie time 4:35am with beer and breakfast

      and sending warm wishes to you from lake erie time ontario canada

    • wildove5 profile image

      wildove5 4 years ago from Cumberland, R.I.

      Thank you, I was pretty proud of this one. Has a lot of personal moments I experienced on my journey.

    • profile image

      JThomp42 4 years ago

      Wow! Very deep. I can just feel the emotion in the words. Voted up and awesome.