ArtsAutosBooksBusinessEducationEntertainmentFamilyFashionFoodGamesGenderHealthHolidaysHomeHubPagesPersonal FinancePetsPoliticsReligionSportsTechnologyTravel

The good men in my life

Updated on February 2, 2013

Identyfing good men

The good men in my life, my Husband of 5 years, my Dad of well as long as I have been around and my granddad, as long as he has been around. The men in my year 12 class were also classy guys.

My Husband

I wrote a list about 18 months before I “met” my husband, as a potential suitor – he didn’t fit the entire criteria because it required, a job was on it! I decided that studying and applying yourself to something even though not financial, was a good way to go about getting a job.

The main purpose of  this list, was to act as a guide to ensure that I was getting in to a relationship with someone of similar values, goals and aspirations. Someone I could grow old with and not just get it on with. I believe the reason I found a wonderful man who is perfect for me is because I knew what I wanted.

My husband is a wonderful man. Even though he has been through great trials, which you’d expect a person to not to cope with and not even continue on in a healthy existence, he has. Not only does he have a healthy existence, he excels at it.

What he does:

He works a technical job, that he studied for while we dated and when were married. He also came home every night for over four months to renovate our house. I assisted, but have no where near the technical ability or problem solving ability for the nightmare that was our bathroom.

He has fixed every bomb we ever drove; he would stay up until 3am and go to work the next day. He would worry about every knocking noise, every whirring noise, every time the temperature crept up to high.

When he was having trouble getting in to the work force, he agreed to work at the local abattoirs, getting up at 1am working until 4pm some days. We barely saw each other, just passing ships – although we weren’t - the 1 hour we spent from when I got home was quality time. Thankfully this only lasted 6 months before he started his current job.

How he loves me

He listens to me, understands me, and he knows me; he knows that I love being challenged and increasing my skills and abilities. He is also a great sounding board for when I am too eccentric.

He knows that connect best to him when we have quality time, even though he appreciates gifts – He used to buy me flowers until I truly convinced him I didn’t want them! It was adorable and just a nice feeling. He helps out with the house work.
He talks me up everywhere we go, it used to be a little embarrassing, he is better in social situations than I am, he would circle the party before I would leave my safe post of somebody I knew well. Then I would go around to be told how wonderful and fantastic I was, for the job that I did was helping people. I would spend my time helping them see that they were just as fantastic. However it was so nice that he held me in such high esteem.

In our household, he gave me the “control” of the finances, which means that I am responsible for ensuring the bills are paid, and we have fun too. He doesn’t want weekly meetings to ensure I am doing it fairly – he trusts me. Even when I messed up and had to pay interest on the credit card, or got a late fee when I wasn’t coping – he never got mad. He still believed in me. He always calls before he spends, I never have to worry about financial insecurity because he wastes it away. I in turn ensure that he has the money to work on his projects.

He has such big dreams and wants to do so much, its so amazing to see the energy and cleverness. He wants to fully restore a car, which he nearly did with his ’86 Ford Escort. Although he didn’t paint it and that is something he would like to master.
He hates being bored and is always up for a spontaneous adventure.

I also love how he loves to help other people. He is so generous, with his time, with his resources. He helps out with out asking for anything.

I am so lucky that I found him and he loved me. I could go on forever and when I read this topic, I thought I would run out of things to write, but I am actually thinking I could hub some more about this and how and why our relationship is so wonderful.

We have grown together, we make plans together. We incorporate each of our dreams goals and aspirations.

What is most important in a relationship apart from love and sex?

See results

My Dad

My Dad too is a wonderful man, and without his work ethic – I doubt I would have valued a work ethic in my husband if my Dad didn’t work so hard, and for so little.

I am so lucky that my Dad was an honourable and decent man that I recognised, his good qualities and found a great mate for myself.

My dad taught me to ride a two wheel bike. I used to ride for hours in our yard. Dad let us roller blade inside. My dad used to run the Youth Group that I belonged to and he took us Go Karting, and to many other activities.

My dad taught me to drive a manual (aka stick) and reverse a trailer.

My Dad believed that I could do anything and always listened to the stories I told.

Dad is also a heap of fun to talk to, he currently works on a rubbish truck, and as he is out and about from early in the morning travelling around he sees lots of different things. He always has stories to tell.

My Dad is a bit of hoarder, but it always means that when my husband needs something we rarely have to pay for it.

My Granddad and Men in General

My Granddad is a very intellectual man, and listening to him and sounding ideas off him is always eye opening.

Granddad, is my Mum’s Father. I don’t see him often. I did stay with him and Grandma on and off while I studied.

Granddad rides a motorbike and I think that is really cool.

Men in general

I think sometimes people find it easier to have a defined role. However we cannot create a blanket role for all men. In my experiences and these relationships the men I describe have roles.

I think each relationship needs to understand the strengths that each person brings to the relationship and organise roles accordingly.

I think that when we brought in more rights for women we took away some rights for men. It makes it hard for them to be able to say when they are being abused – because your kidding right you could stop her – This thinking proliferates problems that are trying to be broken. We didn’t replace it with service’s right away to help them adjust. When things got hard for them like they lost their job, which lets face it is a really big part of their identity, they lost part of themselves and without support things can get very hard. But honey I am earning the money now, even if there is still cash flow, it is just a small part of the entire complexity.

It’s always interesting that men who work around children are treated more suspiciously than women who work around children – When you do come across a predatory woman they aren’t as caught as quickly and easily and are very dangerous.
My point is too many things are still left gender/sex specific, without good cause and we are not keeping up with the changes that women’s rights caused that have left gaps for our men.

Even though men are generally (a generalization not the rule) the last to seek help, this is also possibly why because there is a service gap and legislative gap. When I think of equality, I would imagine that man being abused in a relationship would have the same supports as a woman who is in need. This is sadly not the case.

As a woman I like my rights, however I can see how the inequality of these rights causes some problems.



    0 of 8192 characters used
    Post Comment

    • Abbasangel profile imageAUTHOR


      5 years ago from Australia - The land down under

      Thanks Janey May79, I am so glad you liked it, I actually attended that tractor pull event.

    • janey_may79 profile image


      7 years ago from Maryland

      Awesome Article! I love the tractor picture! :)

    • Abbasangel profile imageAUTHOR


      7 years ago from Australia - The land down under

      Perfectpercetion!! I am glad you get to share it too!! I wish it weren't so rare!! Then everybody could be happy!! :)

    • perfectperception profile image


      7 years ago from USA

      It's a rare feeling! I'm with you.

    • Abbasangel profile imageAUTHOR


      7 years ago from Australia - The land down under

      Thanks Ashantina!! Me too!! I hope everyone can be as lucky or blessed depending how you look at it!! :)

    • Ashantina profile image


      7 years ago

      I'm very happy that you have found a partner, a lover and a friend in one man. True love!

    • Abbasangel profile imageAUTHOR


      7 years ago from Australia - The land down under

      Thanks H P Roychoudhury!

    • H P Roychoudhury profile image

      H P Roychoudhury 

      7 years ago from Guwahati, India

      You are wonderful and you have a wonderful family.

    • Abbasangel profile imageAUTHOR


      7 years ago from Australia - The land down under

      Thanks so much, Ahorseback! I am glad it is encouraging!

    • profile image


      7 years ago

      What a great story , this is so encouraging to others and a pure love story , good luck to you both.

    • Abbasangel profile imageAUTHOR


      7 years ago from Australia - The land down under

      Thanks for your comment Davorunner!

      When I did my counselling course, it was really interesting to hear about the negative effects, not only that but seeing the reality of that in the services I worked for.

      I think we are all fantastic and I am willing to give men - anyone a good thumbs up when they deserve it.

    • Davorunner profile image


      7 years ago from Australia

      You have a lot of good points. You and your husband have definitely gone to a lot of effort to do things right, plan ahead, and most importantly of all trust each other. Your Dad seems like an excellent role model, and that is always good to have.

      I really liked some of the points you made about Women's rights altering the roles of males. That part is very insightful, and very true. I also believe in equality, but sometimes this can make one gender want to exert their rights on what suits them, but sit back and take advantage of the ones that make life easier for them.

      I personally have found some of the steps you guys took to be helpful pointers, so kudos to you!


    This website uses cookies

    As a user in the EEA, your approval is needed on a few things. To provide a better website experience, uses cookies (and other similar technologies) and may collect, process, and share personal data. Please choose which areas of our service you consent to our doing so.

    For more information on managing or withdrawing consents and how we handle data, visit our Privacy Policy at:

    Show Details
    HubPages Device IDThis is used to identify particular browsers or devices when the access the service, and is used for security reasons.
    LoginThis is necessary to sign in to the HubPages Service.
    Google RecaptchaThis is used to prevent bots and spam. (Privacy Policy)
    AkismetThis is used to detect comment spam. (Privacy Policy)
    HubPages Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide data on traffic to our website, all personally identifyable data is anonymized. (Privacy Policy)
    HubPages Traffic PixelThis is used to collect data on traffic to articles and other pages on our site. Unless you are signed in to a HubPages account, all personally identifiable information is anonymized.
    Amazon Web ServicesThis is a cloud services platform that we used to host our service. (Privacy Policy)
    CloudflareThis is a cloud CDN service that we use to efficiently deliver files required for our service to operate such as javascript, cascading style sheets, images, and videos. (Privacy Policy)
    Google Hosted LibrariesJavascript software libraries such as jQuery are loaded at endpoints on the or domains, for performance and efficiency reasons. (Privacy Policy)
    Google Custom SearchThis is feature allows you to search the site. (Privacy Policy)
    Google MapsSome articles have Google Maps embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    Google ChartsThis is used to display charts and graphs on articles and the author center. (Privacy Policy)
    Google AdSense Host APIThis service allows you to sign up for or associate a Google AdSense account with HubPages, so that you can earn money from ads on your articles. No data is shared unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    Google YouTubeSome articles have YouTube videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    VimeoSome articles have Vimeo videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    PaypalThis is used for a registered author who enrolls in the HubPages Earnings program and requests to be paid via PayPal. No data is shared with Paypal unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    Facebook LoginYou can use this to streamline signing up for, or signing in to your Hubpages account. No data is shared with Facebook unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    MavenThis supports the Maven widget and search functionality. (Privacy Policy)
    Google AdSenseThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Google DoubleClickGoogle provides ad serving technology and runs an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Index ExchangeThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    SovrnThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Facebook AdsThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Amazon Unified Ad MarketplaceThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    AppNexusThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    OpenxThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Rubicon ProjectThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    TripleLiftThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Say MediaWe partner with Say Media to deliver ad campaigns on our sites. (Privacy Policy)
    Remarketing PixelsWe may use remarketing pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to advertise the HubPages Service to people that have visited our sites.
    Conversion Tracking PixelsWe may use conversion tracking pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to identify when an advertisement has successfully resulted in the desired action, such as signing up for the HubPages Service or publishing an article on the HubPages Service.
    Author Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide traffic data and reports to the authors of articles on the HubPages Service. (Privacy Policy)
    ComscoreComScore is a media measurement and analytics company providing marketing data and analytics to enterprises, media and advertising agencies, and publishers. Non-consent will result in ComScore only processing obfuscated personal data. (Privacy Policy)
    Amazon Tracking PixelSome articles display amazon products as part of the Amazon Affiliate program, this pixel provides traffic statistics for those products (Privacy Policy)