The Love Process

Love is so complex yet very basic: either you like someone or you don't.

However, it is something that needs to be nurtured, that requires a constant reminder. The other person needs to understand that there’s more to you than meets the eye. Build upon it, like lego pieces, one at the time. Just like a puzzle, every piece will fall into place as long as all the pieces belong to the same puzzle, and you will realize this as you go along. The final image is the product of understanding, trust, and belief. The belief that you will encourage trust no matter what.

Occasionally, it is something that needs to be taught. You learn to trust over time. You get what you give, but not always. There is the occasional screw up and I am happy to admit this because you have to be two very lucky people not to make mistakes. (The latter is not always a sign of weakness but it helps both you grow.)

Sometimes we give so much more than we get to make up for that we have lost but we learn (hopefully) from this and are able to approach the next relationship with eyes wide open. Believe in the values you’ve been taught and in the ones you learned along the way.

Teach the other person to know you for you so no pretending is allowed... EVER. The small details count and should not be overlooked because it might seem a small gesture but it may be a big deal for the other half. Surprise, impress and attract the other with minor details of your everyday life. Understand all there is to know, not from the actions you see but from what is unspoken. Leave all the pauses be. Wait. Inhale and exhale. Sometimes you just need to look each other in the eye to understand and sometimes it is just nice to walk side by side in silence and appreciating each other's company.

Let there be time to process, to recognize and evaluate that there is something more to discover, to know and to build upon that superficial talk.

Time is complex because you need the patience to understand it. Time is unpredictable because it changes. Time surprise because you weren’t expecting. A surprise is always positive because you weren’t prepared. Look for genuine reactions, stimulate and provoke them like they have provoked you.

Laugh and joke but never overdo it... it may be perceived as too friendly and you might be friend-zoned too quickly. Keep that mysterious part of you still unknown and give them something to work for. Maintain that shadow, the past you carry is what makes you unique and special so don't give it away immediately. Build upon what hasn’t been said and be curious about the other person too. Look beyond the obvious and don’t be afraid, never be afraid, of speaking the truth. Something that I learned is to say what you think because you might not get a second chance. The worst that could happen might be a rejection but it is better to try that to live wondering "what if".

So don't keep it to yourself for too long. FInd the right strength inside you and don’t be afraid of spoiling everything and saying something wrong. Remember that a relationship (friends or lovers) is based on two people so you have to have the other person's opinion too.

Embarrassment is what makes us genuine and human. Embarrassing situations are the ones we are least attracted to because of the missing knowledge on how to behave. It reveals the true self.

Seek that self and nurture it. Construct shapes and define angles that appear straight at first. Make them circular with time. Use your mind, your thoughts, to the allure that person and, most of all, understand when to let go.

Don’t hold on too much for it will escape. Learn to wait, to be patient and think outside your own structure, your body, and mind. Think outside of yourself and you’ll see the truth.