- Gender and Relationships
The moment you realise
Everything has a beginning...
Stories have beginnings, middles and endings.
Unfortunately, not all of them end the way we want or wished they would. But they do. Lately, I noticed that many Hollywood movies do not have happy endings? Why? Well, the answer is simple, they are starting to reflect reality. Real life, not always have happy endings, in fact, not to be depressing or anything, but as a life starts, it also ends. This does not necessarily apply to friendships, which may also last a lifetime :)
Are they real friends?
Ever feel like you've been mistreated by your friends
The true friend
We all come to a point in life, where we start to think about our past: the people we met, the things we shared with them, and the plans we have with them for the future (from a night out to a simple coffee break).
Strangely enough, we all started somewhere. We did not know that our current friends were the ones we used to hate back in High School (or even before that). People always say to me that the people I meet in University, are the ones I will be carrying with me all my life. This also applies for the ones in High School, with whom you have a close relationship with. You self0disclose to them, because you trust them.
There might be some time where you happen to fight with your best friend and have a huge discussion, that looks like the end of the world. This can only mean one thing: the 'friendship apocalypse' has begun!
People have different personalities, and this is what fascinates most of us when we first meet people. We have expectations of who should (and can) be our friend, and who would be better off let alone. In this decision process, we subconsciously evaluate everything we have in front of us: the way that person is dressed, the way they speak, their humor, etc.
Then you start hanging out with that person you thought was "the one friend" you should have in your life. Ti support you wherever you go and who helps you make the right choices and to be a better person, and vice versa. After spending years and years of hard work, and putting all your efforts in trying and making this friendship work, the worst happens: paths separate.
You go one way, your friends another.
My best friend
It is as this point of the friendship relationship, that you realise who that person really is, and what is its role in your life. Why did you chose that particular person? Will it prove to be the right choice?
This often happens when High School ends, and friends are separated due to their University choices. The same country or a different one does not differentiate the fact that true friends always stay by your side, no matter what happens. Many people can relate to me when I tell them that it is hard to start a new life without your best friends to be there for you when you fail and when you succeed. To support you and to be there when you need them (and vice versa).
Despite the great technologic developments that allow us to stay "connected" to our friends, such as via Facebook or Skype, us humans feel the need of physical verbal exchanges. "Technology will never make up for the times we spent apart": this is what I always say to my parents, who live in a different country, miles away from me. I miss them, and just as I miss them, I miss my friends. Those people who know you and who can understand the situation you are in.
You start realising where all your friends have gone when you reach a new environment, start a new life with the hope of hearing, from time to time, your friends. But they never bother to contact you, unless the need something from you (as often happens). This is the moment when you realise who is really your friends, and who isn't. What I gathered from my experience, is that out of ten friends, only two bothered to contact me and ask how I was feeling and what I was doing. Impressive results!
Now I know, that I can count on those friends more than on the others. I will always be "friends" with the other people I used to hang out with, but not in the same way, because I don't really need them anymore, now that I know how much they care for me. I obviously do not remind them of these situations because I believe that real friendship is and always will be there, NO MATTER WHAT.