The Secret to a Mostly Happy Marriage
What makes a mostly happy marriage? First off I say mostly happy, because anything more is just unrealistic. My husband and I were high school sweethearts, we been married for 15 years this May, and we've been together for 20 years this October. In are many years together we've seen plenty of ups and downs, and rocky roads. We've shared the birth of our 2 beautiful children, the death of a parent and grandparents, but through it all we managed to stay mostly happy.
First let's start with trust, it's the foundation of all relationships. You need to trust your partner and if you don't you need to talk honestly and get to the root cause. You also need to trust yourself, what I mean by that is you need to trust your decesions especially when your partner is not around. If you don't trust yourself, you need to get to the root cause of why, otherwise this will make you doubt your trust in your partner.
Second is communication, no I don't mean the daily how was your day dear, although it's nice to hear that. I mean intimate comunication, tell each other everything. Your trust continues to grow as you continuously discover new things about eachother. We are always growing and changing, but you need to grow together and communication is the only way to do that. Tell each other the bad stuff to, secrets and lies are the beginning of the end for relationships.
SEX!!!! Yes I said it, sex is cruical. I know with our daily responsibilities of kids, jobs, chores, bills, grocery shopping, etc., it may seem next to impossible to include this in your busy life. I get it sometimes we get so worn out and tired we skip this, let's not. We have a set rule, we make time at least once a week, and we work opposite schedules, so yes sometimes we need to get creative. We need physical intimacy, with out it we get in a bad mood, we start questioning ourselves, as well as our partner, and it starts the whole downward spiral of not communicating, and losing trust. Physical intimacy is not just sex, it's kissing, hugging, embracing each other. Make time every day to hug and kiss your partner, it takes 2 seconds and will make you both feel good.
Next is laughter, you just need to. Life throws so many curve balls at us, and sometimes the only thing you can do is laugh. Laughing is fun, it's good for your health, and it makes for a happy home. Now I know we can't laugh at everything, but for the funny things or the little annoying things we all do, laugh it off. Life is full of stress, combat it with a little giggle.
Pick your battles, we all do things differently, snd that's ok. Do not nag and fight over these differences. If your partner makes pizza for dinner and let's the kids have a cola, look at it another way, you didn't have to make dinner. If your partner doesn't fold clothes the way you do or scrub the bathroom to your standards, just be thankful it's one less thing you have to do. Now you will have real arguments, and down right screaming matches. That's ok we need these in our relationship as well, plus the bonus is great make up sex. Just try to save the arguments for the important things, you don't want to spend all your time arguing especially over the small things.
Last but not least, be eachothers best friend. Having a mostly happy marriage means sharing all life's good and bad with your best friend. Don't just look at your spouse as your ball and chain, look at them like your best friend. They should be the one you want to tell about your day, the one to share new adventures with, and the one you want to be with you always.
Well I hope my secrets help those of you reading this. It's never to late to improve your marriage. So if your feeling distance or strife in your marriage, I suggest you try some if not all of these Secrets. These things are what built and continue to keep my marriage mostly happy.