ArtsAutosBooksBusinessEducationEntertainmentFamilyFashionFoodGamesGenderHealthHolidaysHomeHubPagesPersonal FinancePetsPoliticsReligionSportsTechnologyTravel

The Secret to a Mostly Happy Marriage

Updated on February 7, 2018

What makes a mostly happy marriage? First off I say mostly happy, because anything more is just unrealistic. My husband and I were high school sweethearts, we been married for 15 years this May, and we've been together for 20 years this October. In are many years together we've seen plenty of ups and downs, and rocky roads. We've shared the birth of our 2 beautiful children, the death of a parent and grandparents, but through it all we managed to stay mostly happy.

First let's start with trust, it's the foundation of all relationships. You need to trust your partner and if you don't you need to talk honestly and get to the root cause. You also need to trust yourself, what I mean by that is you need to trust your decesions especially when your partner is not around. If you don't trust yourself, you need to get to the root cause of why, otherwise this will make you doubt your trust in your partner.

Second is communication, no I don't mean the daily how was your day dear, although it's nice to hear that. I mean intimate comunication, tell each other everything. Your trust continues to grow as you continuously discover new things about eachother. We are always growing and changing, but you need to grow together and communication is the only way to do that. Tell each other the bad stuff to, secrets and lies are the beginning of the end for relationships.

SEX!!!! Yes I said it, sex is cruical. I know with our daily responsibilities of kids, jobs, chores, bills, grocery shopping, etc., it may seem next to impossible to include this in your busy life. I get it sometimes we get so worn out and tired we skip this, let's not. We have a set rule, we make time at least once a week, and we work opposite schedules, so yes sometimes we need to get creative. We need physical intimacy, with out it we get in a bad mood, we start questioning ourselves, as well as our partner, and it starts the whole downward spiral of not communicating, and losing trust. Physical intimacy is not just sex, it's kissing, hugging, embracing each other. Make time every day to hug and kiss your partner, it takes 2 seconds and will make you both feel good.

Next is laughter, you just need to. Life throws so many curve balls at us, and sometimes the only thing you can do is laugh. Laughing is fun, it's good for your health, and it makes for a happy home. Now I know we can't laugh at everything, but for the funny things or the little annoying things we all do, laugh it off. Life is full of stress, combat it with a little giggle.

Pick your battles, we all do things differently, snd that's ok. Do not nag and fight over these differences. If your partner makes pizza for dinner and let's the kids have a cola, look at it another way, you didn't have to make dinner. If your partner doesn't fold clothes the way you do or scrub the bathroom to your standards, just be thankful it's one less thing you have to do. Now you will have real arguments, and down right screaming matches. That's ok we need these in our relationship as well, plus the bonus is great make up sex. Just try to save the arguments for the important things, you don't want to spend all your time arguing especially over the small things.

Last but not least, be eachothers best friend. Having a mostly happy marriage means sharing all life's good and bad with your best friend. Don't just look at your spouse as your ball and chain, look at them like your best friend. They should be the one you want to tell about your day, the one to share new adventures with, and the one you want to be with you always.

Well I hope my secrets help those of you reading this. It's never to late to improve your marriage. So if your feeling distance or strife in your marriage, I suggest you try some if not all of these Secrets. These things are what built and continue to keep my marriage mostly happy.

Comments

    0 of 8192 characters used
    Post Comment

    • dashingscorpio profile image

      dashingscorpio 

      6 months ago

      Each of us (chooses) our own friends, lovers, and spouse.

      The goal is to find someone who shares your same values, wants the same things for the relationship you do, naturally agrees with you on how to obtain those things and last but not least have a mutual depth of love and desire for one another.

      Compatibility trumps compromise.

      Like attracts like and opposites attract divorce attorneys!

      There is no amount of "work" or "communication" that can overcome being with someone who simply does NOT want what you want. I'm referring to the {major things} in life.

      Over the years we're either "growing together" or "growing apart".

      Communication is the GPS for relationships. It lets you know which direction you're heading in.

      "Never love anyone who treats you like you're ordinary."

      - Oscar Wilde

      There are only two ways to experience joy and peace of mind in relationships. We either get what we want or we learn to be happy with what we have. Accept them (as is) or move on.

      Choose wisely!

    working

    This website uses cookies

    As a user in the EEA, your approval is needed on a few things. To provide a better website experience, hubpages.com uses cookies (and other similar technologies) and may collect, process, and share personal data. Please choose which areas of our service you consent to our doing so.

    For more information on managing or withdrawing consents and how we handle data, visit our Privacy Policy at: https://hubpages.com/privacy-policy#gdpr

    Show Details
    Necessary
    HubPages Device IDThis is used to identify particular browsers or devices when the access the service, and is used for security reasons.
    LoginThis is necessary to sign in to the HubPages Service.
    Google RecaptchaThis is used to prevent bots and spam. (Privacy Policy)
    AkismetThis is used to detect comment spam. (Privacy Policy)
    HubPages Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide data on traffic to our website, all personally identifyable data is anonymized. (Privacy Policy)
    HubPages Traffic PixelThis is used to collect data on traffic to articles and other pages on our site. Unless you are signed in to a HubPages account, all personally identifiable information is anonymized.
    Amazon Web ServicesThis is a cloud services platform that we used to host our service. (Privacy Policy)
    CloudflareThis is a cloud CDN service that we use to efficiently deliver files required for our service to operate such as javascript, cascading style sheets, images, and videos. (Privacy Policy)
    Google Hosted LibrariesJavascript software libraries such as jQuery are loaded at endpoints on the googleapis.com or gstatic.com domains, for performance and efficiency reasons. (Privacy Policy)
    Features
    Google Custom SearchThis is feature allows you to search the site. (Privacy Policy)
    Google MapsSome articles have Google Maps embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    Google ChartsThis is used to display charts and graphs on articles and the author center. (Privacy Policy)
    Google AdSense Host APIThis service allows you to sign up for or associate a Google AdSense account with HubPages, so that you can earn money from ads on your articles. No data is shared unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    Google YouTubeSome articles have YouTube videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    VimeoSome articles have Vimeo videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    PaypalThis is used for a registered author who enrolls in the HubPages Earnings program and requests to be paid via PayPal. No data is shared with Paypal unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    Facebook LoginYou can use this to streamline signing up for, or signing in to your Hubpages account. No data is shared with Facebook unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    MavenThis supports the Maven widget and search functionality. (Privacy Policy)
    Marketing
    Google AdSenseThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Google DoubleClickGoogle provides ad serving technology and runs an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Index ExchangeThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    SovrnThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Facebook AdsThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Amazon Unified Ad MarketplaceThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    AppNexusThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    OpenxThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Rubicon ProjectThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    TripleLiftThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Say MediaWe partner with Say Media to deliver ad campaigns on our sites. (Privacy Policy)
    Remarketing PixelsWe may use remarketing pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to advertise the HubPages Service to people that have visited our sites.
    Conversion Tracking PixelsWe may use conversion tracking pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to identify when an advertisement has successfully resulted in the desired action, such as signing up for the HubPages Service or publishing an article on the HubPages Service.
    Statistics
    Author Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide traffic data and reports to the authors of articles on the HubPages Service. (Privacy Policy)
    ComscoreComScore is a media measurement and analytics company providing marketing data and analytics to enterprises, media and advertising agencies, and publishers. Non-consent will result in ComScore only processing obfuscated personal data. (Privacy Policy)
    Amazon Tracking PixelSome articles display amazon products as part of the Amazon Affiliate program, this pixel provides traffic statistics for those products (Privacy Policy)