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The Self Conscious Military Wife

Updated on August 16, 2017

We PCSed and I lost it.

I joined the military in May of 2013. I was stationed in Charleston, SC on a huge 378 foot cutter and we went out to sea for 3 months at a time. While being on that boat, I saw why they called it the love boat. Single, divorced, and even married members were doing things they should not have been.

I saw so many marriages broken up because of inappropriate behavior. Being a veteran woman myself, I know how women in the military can be. I met my husband in the military during a week of training at his unit in May of 2015. We are now happily married with a beauftiful daughter.

A couple months after we were married, I decided to get out of the military. Between both being in, both being operational, and having a child it seemed impossible for us both to stay in. My husband had 3 almost 4 years more on me in the military and was about to rank up, so I sacrificed. No, I do not resent him and everything happens for a reason.

Here we are, a year later and transferring to a new unit where I never worked with anyone here, especially the women. We got down South in June of 2017 and I realized it was going to be much harder to not be the jealous military wife and self-conscious wife than I thought.

I hear my husband come home from work every day spitting out new names and ranks and problems at the unit. Then there is always the rumors flying around about this one and that one. Not that I do not trust my husband, but I do not trust women around him THAT I DO NOT KNOW.

Now, I am not saying every woman in the military is one to worry about and I trust my husband 1,000%. There are just that small percentage of women who do not know boundaries unfortunately. Do not get me wrong, there are men who do the same exact thing to married women members. I have been on that side and it is not pretty.

So why am I so jealous? I am jealous because there are women here prettier than me, skinnier than me, more my husbands type and I just feel like the old, washed up lady who he has no choice but to stay with because I had his child and we have no family near us.

This is all clearly false. My husband loves me for me, he tells me daily. We have great trust and he does not pay any inappropriate attention to other females. He decided to have a child and married me for a reason. We do not have extreme issues in our marriage, we are best friends. I know it is hard to be the spouse of a military member, but it is all about trust and love. Maybe one day I will take my own advice, but for now I will just keep being me and enjoying my amazing life and marriage!

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    • Dana Abbott profile imageAUTHOR

      Dana Abbott 

      14 months ago from Lousiana

      Thank you!

    • profile image

      V Nichols 

      14 months ago

      Loved this, it is so much harder having been active duty going to the "dependent". Active duty women consider you "the wife" and all those stereotypes - military spouses consider you one "of them" because you were active duty. :)

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