- Gender and Relationships
The seven stages of marriage- From immature love to mature love!
Marriage is a challenging game and those who play it well reap tons of happiness and marital bliss. But the tricky part is most of you do not know the essential rules of marriage and make life with your spouse a misery. Your life goes through various phases of changes till you mature into a person who knows the intricacies of life.
You and your spouse also go through various phases in your married life which change the structure of your marriage drastically. Why do these changes have to occur? Without these changes, you will not evolve. Can you say you are the same person you were some few years ago? When you analyze yourself you are amazed at the changes that have occurred within you.
So it is only natural your marriage also goes through various stages which makes your life with your spouse sometimes happy, sometimes angry, sometimes reconciled and finally moves to a stage of complete appreciative acceptance.
1. The euphoric stage
During the initial stage of your marriage, you cannot have enough of your spouse and you enjoy being with him\her. You have so much to talk about and the moments you spend away from your spouse makes you feel lost and dull.
The physical proximity you enjoy with your spouse makes you heady with love and you long for such happiness to continue forever. Sadly this honeymoon stage is very short lived and very temporary as routine life with its share of problems and issues get ready to catch you off guard.
2. The shocked stage
After the initial glow of love slowly loses its shine you are shocked to find your spouse a totally different person you loved. Gradually reality sets in and you shed some attractive aspects you had coated yourself with to attract your spouse. He\she too does the same and you are bewildered to see a stranger before you.
You no longer feel enamored by him\her and the glamour of your marriage becomes a thing of the past. You both argue for petty reasons and your words spit forth venomous anger at your spouse. Both behave like cat and mouse and you break your heads why you married each other.
3. The frustrated stage
Your freedom is a thing of past and you are weighed down with commitments and responsibilities. You now have children and your responsibilities seem to increase making you frustrated and irritated. You lose your smile as you are tensed by the loads of worries and uncertainties that surround you.
Instead of sharing your problems with your spouse, you both start the blaming game with each accusing the other to be the reason for the issues in the family. Bitter arguments and harsh fights ensue between you and you feel you should not have married him\her.
4. The reconciled stage
Your children have grown up and you have their future to think of. You do not have the time and energy to fight with your spouse and you get reconciled to your commitments. You have to maintain a good standard of living and family financial commitments cannot be met on your own and you need the support of your spouse.
You discuss the financial needs of your children and plan for their future. You go out as a family for the sake your children and you close your mind to your spouse and totally concentrate on their welfare.
5. The indifferent stage
You cannot be bothered about your spouse and you spend most of your time with your children. They become your world and your spouse becomes a person who resides in your house. Your love for your children deepens with intensity and your whole world revolves around them.
Whenever you talk with your spouse, you converse about the future of your children and feel it your duty make their future bright and secure.
6. The bewildered stage
Your children have grown up and you are nearing your retirement stage. You begin to have health related problems and the expenditure towards your medical expenses multiplies. Your world turns upside down when your children decide their own life and leave you to live it as they want to.
You are bewildered at the seemingly unthinking way your children desert you and now you are left with your spouse as your sole companion. Hitherto you had ignored her\him in your life and you turn towards him\her for solace and comfort
7. The mellow love period
Now you understand that it is your spouse who will be with you in your old age and you become sentimental towards him\her. You want to spend more time with him\her and feel sad you had ignored her\his contribution towards the family.
Your children slip into the background and your spouse comes into the forefront and you lean on her\him for your happiness and peace. This stage is the period of beautiful love, bereft of everything but love and companionship.
The final stage of mellow love can be had only if you live through the other stages of your marriage. If you throw away your marriage at any stage of your life thinking that you cannot live with your spouse, your marriage can never travel to the final stage of mellow love.
© 2013 mathira