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- Separation & Divorce
The truth is hard for some
Married to Jezebel
Divorce happens to many couples, for various reasons. Many times the reason is that one person cheated on the other.
Cheating, infidelity and such are not just committed by males, as is oftentimes portrayed by the media. There are no boundaries as to who is capable of cheating. The spirit of Jezebel can influence males as well as females. We all must be aware of the wiles of the enemy and of our own weaknesses.
Here is a story of one couple, and how the cheater-still after several years-lies about her ex and even her children.
Joanne and Bill were married for 25 years. They were young when they married, Joanne was 22 years old and Bill was 23.
Even early on in their relationship Joanne cheated on Bill. She cheated on him when they were engaged and then also several times during their marriage.
Bill was gone often, he worked in the oil fields.
The last time Joanne cheated on Bill was at their 25 years of marriage. Now Bill knew that Joanne was cheating, he had found many sexual and flirtatious messages between Joanne and several men on their computer. They dated back many months. There were even traces of video chats. Bill always backed up their computer. Everything was backed up on his portable hard drive...where he eventually found a lot of evidence of Joannes infidelity. Finally one night, when he came home unexpectedly, he caught her red handed talking and flirting with another man via video chat. That was when everything began to unravel for Joanne...but this is when Bill began to feel free for the first time in his life. He waited for years for the marriage to end, he was waiting for the right time.
Joanne moved out shortly after. Bill stayed in the house with the children that was owned by the oil company. Four of their children were adults by this time, except the youngest, the twins who were teenagers. Joanne did confess to Bill in-front of their kids that he was a better parent than she was so the kids are better off with him. Of-course Bill wouldn't argue, he agreed.
Bill made a point not to jump into a relationship after the break-up, he knew he needed time for himself and for the kids. He also began to find out who he was as a man. After years of control by the Jezebel spirit, he had to journey down the road of self discovery, Even after everything he went through, he made a point never to bad-mouth Joanne. He knew that the behaviour wasn't who she was, he did see glimpses of who Joanne really was during the last 25 years. He would often pray that she would be freed from the demonic influences. He also didn't think that there was any point in revenge, in dishing out such nasty behaviour back to her, even though nobody would fault him for it if he were to do so.
However, Joanne would say horrible things about him and even their children. Joanne would go around telling people that Bill was a nasty man, and that the kids mistreated her, she would make it sound as if life with them was a living hell...she always played the victim. She was like Jezebel in many ways and in some ways much worse. The only times she would speak well of Bill or the kids is if she needed them for something--to use them.
Many people who saw her behaviour, such as her family and friends had asked Bill why he stayed with her. He thought that he had to, he would never leave her with the kids. He also knew that one day she would leave or she would be freed from Jezebel and their marriage would be healed. She always looked for men who she thought made more money. Money was also a major influence for her.
None of her nasty behaviour surprised Bill or the kids, this is how she treated them for years. The adult children confessed to Bill that they found and read what she wrote to her online boyfriends and real life boyfriends online one day when they borrowed the computer. Nowadays, a few years after she left, they still talk about how they were treated by her and the things they read that she wrote to her boyfriends. The kids keep it as evidence so they can speak to her about it some day, when the time is right.
On many occasions Joannes friends and family would speak to Bill and encourage him. They would tell him that they know he is the good person in all this and they would tell him that they know that she lies and they do not believe anything she tells them. Yet she continues with her slanderous behaviour. Even years after their divorce, she still speaks badly of Bill. Nobody believes her once they meet Bill or speak to the kids or even meet some of Bills friends. A pastor friend of theirs has spoken to Bill on many occasions and encouraged him. He himself told Bill that he initially believed Joanne, however after some time passed by, and having spoken to Joanne on a few more occasions, he realized that she was like Jezebel and had him manipulated. He apologized profusely for not seeing the truth right away.
It is very strange that the cheater, the one who treated her husband and children like trash is the one trying to play the victim. She is now doing the same to her current boyfriend. She again is in a relationship with a man online, a man she met before the one she is with. She bad-mouths him with hopes that the online guy and she can hook-up. Even though there is a lot of evidence that he is married and not the person he portrays himself to be, yet she hopes he is and she still is pursuing hm. It is a cycle with her.
The Jezebel spirit is strong, but not stronger than God. We must try to not look at the outward person. We must look at the person spiritually and know that this battle, like many others are spiritual battles. We must pray for the individual. Prayer is the most powerful weapon we all have, and prayer does work. Be patient, forgive and love.
Forgiveness is the key
Oftentimes people jump into another relationship far too soon after a break-up. Sometimes people have a one-night stand to 'get back' at the person who hurt them. However, revenge or looking for a relationship is never a good idea. First and foremost we must learn to forgive the other person. Holding on to pain, or spreading hate only harms yourself, not the other person. So forgive, then make time and take time for yourself. Take a couple of years to just live your life without the ties of relationship. You may think that the time being single is a long time. But before you know it a couple of years have gone by and you know who you are as a person. That is key...forgiveness and finding yourself.
Bill, as we read here, is working through the pain, and so are his kids. He, and the children have forgiven Joanne, however, the pain that they were forced to endure still wells up once in a while. They have moved on and are much happier. But there is still work to be done by all of them. They know that healing takes time, and they will be ok in the long run.
Mark 11:25–26 And when ye stand praying, forgive, if ye have ought against any: that your Father also which is in heaven may forgive you your trespasses. But if ye do not forgive, neither will your Father which is in heaven forgive your trespasses.
1 Blessed is he whose transgression is forgiven, whose sin is covered.
2 Blessed is the man unto whom the Lord imputeth not iniquity, and in whose spirit there is no guile.
3 When I kept silence, my bones waxed old through my roaring all the day long.
4 For day and night thy hand was heavy upon me: my moisture is turned into the drought of summer. Selah.
5 I acknowledge my sin unto thee, and mine iniquity have I not hid. I said, I will confess my transgressions unto the Lord; and thou forgavest the iniquity of my sin. Selah.
6 For this shall every one that is godly pray unto thee in a time when thou mayest be found: surely in the floods of great waters they shall not come nigh unto him.
7 Thou art my hiding place; thou shalt preserve me from trouble; thou shalt compass me about with songs of deliverance. Selah.
8 I will instruct thee and teach thee in the way which thou shalt go: I will guide thee with mine eye.
9 Be ye not as the horse, or as the mule, which have no understanding: whose mouth must be held in with bit and bridle, lest they come near unto thee.
10 Many sorrows shall be to the wicked: but he that trusteth in the Lord, mercy shall compass him about.
11 Be glad in the Lord, and rejoice, ye righteous: and shout for joy, all ye that are upright in heart.