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The worst reasons to marry

Updated on February 27, 2011

Many young women grow up with the soul purpose of finding Mr Right and do not see the dangers.  They cannot distinguish the good and bad things about this new romantic person entering into their lives.  We all need to learn to look beyond the whirlwind feelings of love that tends to grip a couple and sweep them off their feet.

Look hard and long at the wonderful person, you are thinking of marrying. There are so many reasons not to marry in a rush. Herre are a few reasons why:

  • Never marry anyone without knowing the person explicitly.
  • If you have just met them, you need to meet their friends, learn all you can about them. They could be married to someone else.
  • Beware of the person that you met on the Internet not everything may be, as it seems.

Never marry for money

Money is just that, it will give you everything you want of material value. Statistics tell us, that not many people winning lotto are happy. You can have the best of cars, or a house and spa. Everything but what you really wanted, love, friendship, and companionship.

You cannot face living alone

You married for companionship, so where is he when you need him? Oh, yes. He went to the racetrack early this morning, and you have not seen him since. Sure, he comes home at night and is still there in the morning, you may have some fun times together. Although he never takes you with him, so how do you amuse yourself, you spend each day on your own, unless you finally wake up and make a life for yourself without him.

Do not marry for the wrong reason

You were doing the right thing, you were on the pill, and then you went night clubbing with the new boyfriend. Sometime later, you realize that you had missed taking a pill. You have known this boy for two months and now you are pregnant. What can you do? He is a great person, because he has offered to marry and support both you and the baby. Think hard and long about this. Do not rush into marriage. You could continue to see him, or even live together, to see what this person is really like. If it does work out then marry him, if you truly love one another.

Never marry an abusive person

If a person hits you when you are dating, then he will not change after the wedding. If he is an alcoholic, or a smoker and you expect him to change his lifestyle for you, think again. If a person you meet cannot give you the kind of life, you expect when you are dating, a few printed words on a marriage certificate will not change anything.

If you choose to marry a person for one of these reasons, then you are heading for a disastrous marriage. Take a good hard look at yourself and seriously rethink your motives for marrying. Do you think you can really live like that, and what about the children, what would their lives be like?

Never marry for anything less than true love. Even then, all marriages take work, a lot of give and take on both sides, and thoughtfulness between the two of you to make it work.

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    • KrT08 profile image

      KrT08 6 years ago from In the Mountains

      Agreed totally, Eileen. I've been there myself in the past. I'm always grateful for my friends who are willing to tick me off in order to help me.

      It's so easy for a woman to believe that she's not going to get anything better. Especially if she's hit right out of a bad relationship and is vulnerable. I love posts that show the bad or good reasons to get married. Keep up the good work :)

    • Eileen Hughes profile image
      Author

      Eileen Hughes 6 years ago from Northam Western Australia

      KrR08 Very True, as long as it is not because the parents can see what the partner is doing behind their back.

      I have also had experience where the guy can really blind the girl to his bad side. Like pretending to work when he is not and spending their savings and not helping at all when she works six days a week etc. Marriage or any partnership should be started by sharing the good and the bad times. Some girls are actually fooled into thinking that no one else would want them. That is not the way to start a relationship.

    • KrT08 profile image

      KrT08 6 years ago from In the Mountains

      Another bad reason to get married : Mom or dad likes him. If that's the main reason, think again. The same can be said for "Mom or Dad hates him" I've known a few who marry for that reason.

      I love my husband, we are best friends and soulmates. None of my family approves, but it didn't matter. We are right for each other. Not to mention, who do you have to live with the rest of your marriage?

    • Eileen Hughes profile image
      Author

      Eileen Hughes 6 years ago from Northam Western Australia

      leads and feeds, thanks for the nice comment glad to help

    • profile image

      Leads and Feeds 6 years ago

      thank you, i found this very interesting! and will certainly think twice when the time comes!

    • Eileen Hughes profile image
      Author

      Eileen Hughes 7 years ago from Northam Western Australia

      lorlie6, very glad that it all worked out for you. It does take hard work to from both sides to make it work, a lot of give and take from both sides

    • lorlie6 profile image

      Laurel Rogers 7 years ago from Bishop, Ca

      Eileen-I wanted to marry at 21 just to have a wedding. I finally can admit that. I love pomp and circumstance, you see! But after that all collapsed-within 3 months-I remained single for a long time and finally found a good man with whom I've been married for 21 years. No pomp here!

      Thanks,

      Laurel

    • profile image

      unmarriedlady 8 years ago

      Because things that were once appreciated will, after marriage, be expected.

    • frogdropping profile image

      Andria 8 years ago

      What about 'why not?'. Another great reason NOT to get married ;)

    • profile image

      moguy 8 years ago

      never marry for the sex. even tho it's great dating. After the I DO's things could change she could have done everything to get you so why bother now or he would rather go hunting than spend time with her