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Love in Fairy Tales: What Goldilocks Can Teach Us About Love

Updated on October 14, 2012

The Goldilocks Theory of Love

Fairy tales can teach us a lot about love. There is one story in particular that gives the best guidance about finding a soul mate. No, it’s not Cinderella or Snow White or even Sleeping Beauty.

The fairy tale heroine who recognizes one of the most important truths about love is none other than Goldilocks.

Flash back to your childhood and conjure up a mental image of the picky girl who wouldn’t accept the “close enough” mentality.

She wasn’t satisfied with food that was too hot or too cold. She kept looking until she found a bowl that was just right for her. Goldilocks went through the same process when she wanted a seat and when she wanted a bed.

Goldilocks may be a fairy tale without a Prince Charming, but if you use Goldilocks’ technique in the love department, you may create your own happily ever after.

There are three things Goldilocks understood: Sampling, selectivity, and suitability.

Goldilocks Knows the Recipe

It is okay to take a sample to see if the mix is "just right."
It is okay to take a sample to see if the mix is "just right." | Source

Lesson 1: Sampling

Goldilocks sampled some bad food. It was too hot or too cold. She found some uncomfortable furniture. It was either too soft or too hard. But she wasn’t afraid to test before she decided.

Sometimes you have to sample some bad before you find the one who is good. Don’t be afraid to experience what is out there. Don’t daydream about finding love, go out and look for it. Yeah, you may have some dating disasters, but they aren’t all duds.

Ice cream shops understand the importance of sampling. You can try all the flavors before you decide that way you know which one tastes best. You can’t tell if you will like a flavor until you try it.

Likewise, don’t be afraid to date different types and don’t judge by appearances. You may think your favorite flavor is pistachio, but once you try cherry jubilee, it could be the best thing you ever tasted.

Sample the market and see who really is worth a second bite and who should be tossed out.

Refuse to Settle

Lesson 2: Selectivity

Goldilocks was hungry, but she didn’t just eat the first bowl of food she came across. She was tired, but she didn’t just plop down and take a nap on the first bed she came across. Goldilocks was patient and looked around at her options before picking.

Be selective and don’t just settle for the first option you find. It is okay to be picky. No person is absolutely perfect. Everyone has their flaws, but you don’t have to be with someone who is wrong for you.

When you are shopping for clothes, you don’t just settle for the first pair of pants you see. You don’t want a fit that is way too tight, but you don’t want the pants to be so loose that they fall off either. You look for the pair that is your size and then buy them.

That doesn’t mean go overboard and have a standard that could not possibly be filled by any real human being. Being selective means looking for someone who is a good match and not settling for any offer to avoid being alone.

Fairy Tale Poll

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You know it's love when it feels right.
You know it's love when it feels right. | Source

Lesson 3: Suitability

When Goldilocks tasted each bowl of soup, she knew right away whether or not it was the soup for her. When she sat in the right chair she knew if it was where she wanted to be. Goldilocks just knew when something was the way it was meant to be.

When something is a match for you, it feels right. You will know it when you have found the right person. Things will click into place and it will feel like you are made for each other.

When you are working a puzzle, there are often many pieces that look similar. They have similar shapes and similar colors. But if you put a wrong piece in a slot, it just doesn’t work right. When the right piece is fitted into the slot, however, the recognition is instantaneous. It is a match, it fits, this is where it belongs. No more searching is needed for the right piece.

When love is right, it is unmistakable.

Gift for her

Control Your Man Remote Controller
Control Your Man Remote Controller

Remote to control your man.


Gift for him

Duct Tape Roses - Flowers for Guys (Set of 3)
Duct Tape Roses - Flowers for Guys (Set of 3)

Guys and duct tape, how could this gift go wrong?


Listen to Goldilocks

Goldilocks has just one more thing to teach.  She is smart about some things, but she warns you to avoid her mistake.  Don’t go into someone else’s house looking for something you can keep.  You’ll end up with a big mess and still be alone.  She may have found something that was right, but it’s no fun when the bears get back home. 

Look for love where it is available.  Take your time and find that someone who is just right for you.  Then skip together into your happily ever after…          


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    • cocopreme profile image

      Candace Bacon 5 years ago from Far, far away

      wayseeker - Thanks so much! Princes (or princesses) that magically pop into your life doesn't happen too often in the real world. So using self control and finding the right person is what can make for a deep relationship.

    • wayseeker profile image

      wayseeker 5 years ago from Colorado

      I am well past the days of dating at this point, and am happily married now for almost 12 years. That said, I wish I'd have had the chance to read this earlier in my life. I love the creativity with which you've taken a wonderful fairy tale and extrapolated love advice. The advice found here is far better than anything we find in the more traditional love tales, that's for certain.

      If only we could all have the kind of self control it takes to take this advice seriously, I think our relationships would be much stronger overall.

      I love the creative thinking here,


    • RedElf profile image

      RedElf 7 years ago from Canada

      Most excellent advice! Isn't it amazing what "children's stories" can teach us if we will listen?