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- Advice & Tips for Women in Relationships
5 Things Men Want To Hear
Women tend to be fairly vocal about what we need from men, and we often give them hints about what we want to hear. (Ok, so maybe you call it fishing for compliments, but whatever.) Men have similar needs, but they're not quite so forthcoming about those needs (um, unless we're talking about those needs.) Therefore, if you want to keep some harmony going, you need to make an effort to let him know you care enough to mention them -- and that you actually believe them, cos there ain't much point otherwise. Mind, you don't want to patronize or go motherly on him. Just speak from the heart and let him hear these things from time to time.
1. No problem, I understand.
Best when spoken sincerely, as sarcasm will not get you any points. Everyone screws up from time to time or has to cancel something they'd rather not cancel. Men tend to handle these unexpected occurrences like grown-ups, whereas women have a tendency to stomp feet, pout and suggest that his plane being delayed must mean that he doesn't really love you. Every once in a while he'd love for you to just be understanding and not demand an explanation or formal apology.
2. That was amazing!
Ok, so it's not always amazing, but when it is, you need to tell him. Make him feel like a God in the bedroom and he'll be eager to please next time, as well. Obviously, you don't want to overdo it, or gush when the performance was just average, but you do want to make him feel like a star when he deserves it.
3. That was so clever of you!
Did your man just rig up some super cool contraption for you in the kitchen? Did he make you something by hand? Did he build an organizer for all that crochet crap that was taking over the living room? Whatever he's made for you or the house, let him know that his skills are valued and that he impressed you with them. Because, come on, it's probably true and he needs to know you appreciate him.
4. You're so sexy...
I don't care if you've been together for 10 days or 10 years, we all need to know that our partners still find us attractive. One of the reasons men cheat on women is because they don't feel wanted or attractive -- and another woman steps in and fills that void. Let your man know you find him sexy and attractive because he needs to hear it.
5. What do you think I should do about....?
Men are problem solvers and they thrive on respect. If you ask your man to help you sort a problem out, not only are you telling him that you need his help (which he is biologically programmed to enjoy, btw!), you are telling him that you trust his advice -- which will give him a big boost in terms of feeling respected. You don't have to use his advice, but you could probably benefit from asking him for it.