ArtsAutosBooksBusinessEducationEntertainmentFamilyFashionFoodGamesGenderHealthHolidaysHomeHubPagesPersonal FinancePetsPoliticsReligionSportsTechnologyTravel

Things Not To Do at Picnics

Updated on April 19, 2014

What a gorgeous picnic site


Time was

a picnic served two purposes: One, to have a relaxing time with family or just you and your hot girlfriend.

At both picnics you could enjoy loads of tasty fried chicken, potato salad, pork chops, coconut cake, wine, cold beer, and soda for the children.

The latter picnic where a guy and a girl sneaked into a secret place in the woods, ate very little food, but drank gallons of booze while they made-out without interruption.

One couiple wants the other couple to leave


Then some rowdy people

made it hard for everyone by getting wasted, leaving chicken bones, candy wrappers, and beer bottles all over the pretty forest area and the Forest Rangers had to put their foot down.

This type of behavior was just too much to handle. And by the way, this was in the late 1950's.

firm set of rules for picnickers who want to just have a relaxing, quiet time with their families or girlfriends without being suspected of too many shenanigans.

So here is the list of . . . Things Not to Do at Picnics.

  • Leave controlled substances at home, or do not touch them at all. Reports once had a man of college-age who had smoked too much marijuana and went wild while he gorged himself on chicken, pie, and raw hotdogs. He was arrested without clothing miles from the picnic area standing on the interstate bellowing, "I am Tarzan of The Apes! I need ride!"
  • Same for alcohol. Why ruin the perfect picnic by getting so drunk you think the roasted turkey is your girlfriend's sister.
  • Throwing rocks at wasp or hornet nests. If I have to explain this, you do not need to go on a picnic. You need to attend night classes at your community college to learn why you leave wasps and hornets alone.
  • Clothing should stay on your body. Now this depends on how good you and your girlfriend know each other, and if you have been hitting the gym on a regular basis. And clothing is to be kept on if there are more than you and your girlfriend at the picnic--e.g. your grandparents.

Do not smoke "weed" at picnics


More things not to do at picnics

  • If you eat too much and become nauseated, look for the restrooms so you can "barf" in the commode, not on your girlfriend.
  • Ignorant talking is not acceptable. Do not, even to lighten the mood, say stupid things to your girlfriend or other people at this picnic. Now unless you really have a secret desire to be thought of as an idiot.
  • Hurting pets is against picnic ethics. Sometimes after a hefty meal at a picnic, boredom sets in and adventurous people look for ways to have fun, but abusing area wildlife or your girlfriend's pet Calico cat is not acceptable.
  • Obey all "No Swimming" signs if your picnic is held near a body of water. And also keep in mind the "No Swimming" sign does not mean people (like you) who cannot swim are the only ones who can enter the water.

Drinking at a picnic? Seriously?


This type of behavior is not acceptable

at most picnics that I have ever been around.

So I am closing this informative-hub with a few more rules on "Things Not to Do at Picnics," so you and your loved ones will have a better time when you go on a picnic this summer.

  • Do not set fire to the forests. I am totally-serious. Even if you eat fire for a local circus, leave fire out of any picnic. Dispose charcoal properly when you are finished cooking so do not doze off and hope that the fire will go out.
  • If you do see a bear, rattlesnake or any dangerous animal or reptile, do not try to be a he-man and try to impress your girlfriend and handle it. You could end up in the emergency room.
  • If a friend at your picnic drinks or eats too much and goes to sleep, do not make fun of him or her by painting vulgar words on their forehead, or even worse, do not pile empty chicken buckets, grocery bags, banana peels and beer cans on them and just leave them when you leave. When they wake, they might suffer a panic attack for not knowing what is going on or where they are.
  • Stealing food from others who are having a picnic near you. In today's society, you might get shot.

"And if you go on a picnic, remember "I" was responsible for you having a safe time and lots of free food would be the only gratuity I will get."


    0 of 8192 characters used
    Post Comment

    • kenneth avery profile imageAUTHOR

      Kenneth Avery 

      4 years ago from Hamilton, Alabama

      Dear Thelma,

      You are a great friend and follower. I love picnic/barbecues, lemonade, watermelon, and now I am famished.

      LOL. Thanks for making my night.

      Thanks for your comment.

    • Thelma Alberts profile image

      Thelma Alberts 

      4 years ago from Germany

      Hi Kenneth,

      I love picnic with my family or friends. You have great tips here. Thanks for sharing. Happy Sunday!

    • kenneth avery profile imageAUTHOR

      Kenneth Avery 

      4 years ago from Hamilton, Alabama

      My Dear DDE,

      Ahh, you are so right. I love picnics. Especially the ones that are so quiet that you can nod-off and stick your face in the potato salad.

      What am I saying?

      That is a waste of good potato salad--one of my favorite foods.

      Thank you, dear friend, for your sweet comments.

    • kenneth avery profile imageAUTHOR

      Kenneth Avery 

      4 years ago from Hamilton, Alabama


      Now you have me cornered. I will not say no, but I won't say yes either. I had some wild beer-drinking days a long time ago, and maybe at one of these times I might have . . .hey, I cannot remember. I need to call my attorney, Perry Mason.

      Thanks for your comment and making me sweat with worry.

    • kenneth avery profile imageAUTHOR

      Kenneth Avery 

      4 years ago from Hamilton, Alabama

      Dear Sherry,

      Good girl. Just try to not think about this hub when you go on your next picnic.

      Thanks for your sweet comment.

    • DDE profile image

      Devika Primić 

      4 years ago from Dubrovnik, Croatia

      Picnics sound such fun an what a great way to spend the day with family and friends.

    • mgt28 profile image


      4 years ago

      Ken, it is hard to believe that you made up these. I have a secret feeling that you did three quarters of this misdeeds. I hope I am wrong though.

    • Sherry Hewins profile image

      Sherry Hewins 

      4 years ago from Sierra Foothills, CA

      LOL, OK, those are a lot of things I never would have thought to do at a picnic, so I will continue not to do them!


    This website uses cookies

    As a user in the EEA, your approval is needed on a few things. To provide a better website experience, uses cookies (and other similar technologies) and may collect, process, and share personal data. Please choose which areas of our service you consent to our doing so.

    For more information on managing or withdrawing consents and how we handle data, visit our Privacy Policy at:

    Show Details
    HubPages Device IDThis is used to identify particular browsers or devices when the access the service, and is used for security reasons.
    LoginThis is necessary to sign in to the HubPages Service.
    Google RecaptchaThis is used to prevent bots and spam. (Privacy Policy)
    AkismetThis is used to detect comment spam. (Privacy Policy)
    HubPages Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide data on traffic to our website, all personally identifyable data is anonymized. (Privacy Policy)
    HubPages Traffic PixelThis is used to collect data on traffic to articles and other pages on our site. Unless you are signed in to a HubPages account, all personally identifiable information is anonymized.
    Amazon Web ServicesThis is a cloud services platform that we used to host our service. (Privacy Policy)
    CloudflareThis is a cloud CDN service that we use to efficiently deliver files required for our service to operate such as javascript, cascading style sheets, images, and videos. (Privacy Policy)
    Google Hosted LibrariesJavascript software libraries such as jQuery are loaded at endpoints on the or domains, for performance and efficiency reasons. (Privacy Policy)
    Google Custom SearchThis is feature allows you to search the site. (Privacy Policy)
    Google MapsSome articles have Google Maps embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    Google ChartsThis is used to display charts and graphs on articles and the author center. (Privacy Policy)
    Google AdSense Host APIThis service allows you to sign up for or associate a Google AdSense account with HubPages, so that you can earn money from ads on your articles. No data is shared unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    Google YouTubeSome articles have YouTube videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    VimeoSome articles have Vimeo videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    PaypalThis is used for a registered author who enrolls in the HubPages Earnings program and requests to be paid via PayPal. No data is shared with Paypal unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    Facebook LoginYou can use this to streamline signing up for, or signing in to your Hubpages account. No data is shared with Facebook unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    MavenThis supports the Maven widget and search functionality. (Privacy Policy)
    Google AdSenseThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Google DoubleClickGoogle provides ad serving technology and runs an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Index ExchangeThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    SovrnThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Facebook AdsThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Amazon Unified Ad MarketplaceThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    AppNexusThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    OpenxThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Rubicon ProjectThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    TripleLiftThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Say MediaWe partner with Say Media to deliver ad campaigns on our sites. (Privacy Policy)
    Remarketing PixelsWe may use remarketing pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to advertise the HubPages Service to people that have visited our sites.
    Conversion Tracking PixelsWe may use conversion tracking pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to identify when an advertisement has successfully resulted in the desired action, such as signing up for the HubPages Service or publishing an article on the HubPages Service.
    Author Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide traffic data and reports to the authors of articles on the HubPages Service. (Privacy Policy)
    ComscoreComScore is a media measurement and analytics company providing marketing data and analytics to enterprises, media and advertising agencies, and publishers. Non-consent will result in ComScore only processing obfuscated personal data. (Privacy Policy)
    Amazon Tracking PixelSome articles display amazon products as part of the Amazon Affiliate program, this pixel provides traffic statistics for those products (Privacy Policy)