- Gender and Relationships
Things to know when you are growing up with single dad.
I lost my mother forty-eight days after I was born and I grew up with my father, so my mom's eldest sister took the responsibility of looking after me at that time. My dad was a very honourable man who devoted rest of his life to bring us up; my aunt was looking after me till I was five years old. I don't know for what reason, my father seemed to have decided that he should get me back from my aunt to keep me with him and at that time my grandmother, that was my dad mom was alive and came to live with us to help my father with my sisters and me. My dad was a school teacher who devoted all his life to bring us up; I am the youngest, and I have two elder sisters, and the eldest one was eight years old, and the other one was two years old when my mother died.
Parental Mistake in Kids Education.
I cannot remember exactly that how I was as a toddler was but can remember the time I was growing up. My father was very keen on educating his three daughters than anything else, and he sent us to best schools in our area, but unfortunately, his expectations were too high when compared to the facilities that his children had. Therefore, that was not advisable to expect like that; and was because he didn't have anybody to join him to advise him. As a result, it affected us because we couldn’t fulfil his expectations. He always thought that I was the cleverest in the family and decided to send me to the city to study. That decision changed my sisters very sorry especially my eldest sister that created a big division between them and myself and as a result I was left alone.
The sufferings the child goes through when left alone.
Now you can imagine the problems I would have experienced as a teen due to lack of support, love, and money. Even though my father sent me to the city to study, he couldn't afford to give me any financial help. As a result, I had to find a way of making the money. With all these bad luck I was lucky in a way, I met a young woman but much older than me, and we became excellent friends. She gave me good support and also she had a brother with a splendid job who helped both us financially as such I was able to survive in the city. She also encouraged me to continue with my studies, so we started making some money by giving private tuitions from going to houses to teach the children in their homes. I didn't have any good relationship with my sisters because they were upset that my father supported me more than them. So, my life went on at the mercy of this particular friend, and she started visiting me at home when I went on holidays to see my father, this also aggravated my sisters and they almost started dividing both of us and I lost that friendship after a while. All these has been happening in my life, but my father was not aware of it, as he was busy with his job and he has to provide for the family. I am sure that if my mother were alive, she would not have allowed my sisters to interfere with my life like that as I was not doing anything wrong to bring the family's pride down.
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Faced problems in married life from in-laws.
Having gone through all these, I met my husband at my first work place and after a year or two, he wanted to marry me. I got my first job, and I quickly lost it and after that, a friend of mine found me another job in a private company, I was relieved and took over that job. I started working there and after a while, I was receiving letters from the management that my work was not up to the standard, but I was reluctant to accept it as I knew that I was doing a good job. That company owned by a man who was the older person and later I came to know that the old man gave employment to young girls like me and expected to be used by him for his happiness. I immediately left the job and became jobless with no money in my hands. During this time my husband was seeing me on and off, and he came from a very conservative family that their expectations were the woman who marries their son should originate from a family that had some comforts, therefore, they were not happy with the idea that their son was going to marry me.
Do not let others to use you because of your weakness.
As a result, I had to face problems from his family as well; I was able to see that my husband was also affected a bit by his family's influence. With all these, we got married without anyone's financial, physical or even emotional support. People around us were looking down on us, and some were jealous of us. My husband had to find a place for us to live and he had to bear all the expenses for us to live. I think now he was not happy about it and worn out by other people's influence on him. We survived all that and at the end I got a job as I was highly qualified and started to make real money, then again the people around us were feeling jealous and expected us to help them. If my mother were living all these times, she would take the burden of putting everything in the right place and wouldn't have allowed me to suffer most of my life like that. I will never blame my father for any of these as he couldn't cope up with all these extra responsibilities on his own.
My conclusion is, if the kids grow up without the support of both parents, they tend to suffer a lot and will make them grow up with no confidence. Having said all these, if a child wants to succeed in life still, can find ways to become successful.