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Three Most Common Defense Mechanisms Men Use

Updated on April 30, 2014

Blah. Blah. Blah. You see this when men creates cartoons of women who nags. This is also what men utter to themselves while we women rant on their shortcomings and occasional flirtations with women. Is that all they can say? I can imagine you laughing. But let's try to dissect men now. Let's try to see what are the defense mechanisms they use to make us believe their reasons. Ready?

First of which is repression. Repression is an involuntary, automatic submerging of painful or sometimes unpleasant thoughts and feelings into the unconscious. One best situation wherein this defense mechanism is used when men gets drunk and end up with a night brawl, a precinct (where you bail him out) or worst, beating up women. When they are sober and sane enough and see where they are, they can't seem to remember! I sometimes wonder if this is really involuntary.

β€œIt's okay to date the secretary. The boss do so too.” This is rationalization. Rationalization is attempting to justify or modify unacceptable needs and feelings to the ego, in an effort to maintain self respect and prevent guilt. Actually, most of us, use this type of defense mechanism – from broken dishes to broken engagements.

If you see the boss coming with a furrowed brow and later on calls a meeting to rant and rave on the employees' low performance or ditch insurmountable tasks on your desk, you can assume of the many reasons for this – he may have a hard time or some impossible discussions with the wife or girlfriend. However, you yourself may have used this defense mechanism. You may have kicked the dog, smash the TV or something or someone less likely to pose a threat if you indulge yourself on one of those power trips. This is called displacement. Feelings are transferred, redirected or discharged from the appropriate person or object to a less threatening person or object.

When you catch your guy cheating, ask yourself if you yourself in the past have been caught with the same act. It is human nature to do the same things people do unto them. They sometimes reason that it is okay to do the same thing since they are also receiving the same treatment. This is projection. Projection is attributing one's own unacceptable feelings and thoughts to others. It's like jumping on the bandwagon. It is okay to do something wrong, since almost everyone is doing it - that is what most people think when they utilize this defense mechanism.

Why do men do this? In fact, almost all human beings do this. Defense mechanisms are further categorized into conscious and unconscious level. These are protective barriers used to manage instinct and affect in the presence of difficult situations. All human beings use these mechanisms to relieve and decrease anxiety caused by uncomfortable situations that threatens self-esteem. These are also used to decrease emotional conflicts, provide relief from stress, hide feelings of inadequacy and worthlessness, prevent awareness of anxiety thus maintain an individual's self-esteem.


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